Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Watch the Spurs? I'll Pass...

I hate the San Antonio Spurs. Why? I have no idea. It could be because they are boring. It could be because I don't see much personality in their collective robotic nature. It could be because I don't enjoy NBA basketball as much as I used to.

And to be honest, my past experience would lead me to think I'd enjoy the Spurs. I played basketball under Coach Frank Allocco (former USA Today High School Coach of the Year) and we played a similar game to the Spurs. We were very fundamentally sound, won a lot of games, didn't over celebrate or act like jerks. I'm sure other teams hated us because we won a lot, but I'm also sure that we couldn't care less about what they thought. It was all about winning.

However, we I look to my television for pure entertainment, I can't turn on the Western Conference playoffs because the Spurs don't interest me.

Tim Duncan - you are boring. You are probably the best power forward to have played since I was born, and I don't want to watch any of your games.

Tony Parker - you are boring. You're quick, you're smart, you're wife is hot, and I would rather watch re-runs of "Saved by the Bell" (maybe that's a bad example because that's a great show!) than watch you play.

Manu Ginobili - you are boring! You are as close as the Spurs get to exciting. You play with heart and get to the basket almost at will. You are an amazing basketball talent, but I'd rather hand wash a sink full of dishes than watch your balding head play basketball.

I know a lot of other people feel the same way. I put up a half serious post on the CBS.sportsline.com messages boards about how I'd rather watch a Pirates/Nationals baseball game than watch a Spurs playoff game. One bitter Texan was not pleased, but for the most part people agreed. Some said the NBA as a whole was boring, but there was more agreement than disagreement. This one sums it up nicely:

"i don't know about you, but i just absolutely hate the Spurs. and the worst part is...i don't know why. i've always hated the "dynasty" teams like the Yankees, patriots, and spurs, but there's something about SA that makes me want to punch babies. maybe it's their over-seas talent (too much of a good thing...). maybe it's their players (i absolutely despise ginobili and his ability to score at will, duncan is almost completely dependent on the glass, and parker is just too damn fast). maybe it's their style of play. either way, i'd rather see a bucs/nats game, too, so i'm just letting you know, you're not alone."

So in the end, I suppose the Spurs are the basketball equivalent to the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I respect RHCP as musicians, and I understand they are good at what they do, but I'd rather go to the eye doctor and do the "Which is better, 1 or 2, 1 or 2? 3 or 4? 5 or 6?" test than listen to any of their boring music for an extended period of time.

PS: I truly do hate "Big Shot Bob" Robert Horry. He's a really good reason to hate the Spurs.


GMoney said...

Bruce Bowen is the dirtiest player in the league yet Stern does nothing about it. Brent Barry shouldn't even be in the league anymore. Oberto thinks he's some enforcer now. Someone at ESPN wrote a column saying that Horry should be in the Hall of Fame. Michael Finley should be dead.

I hate them all. I respect them, don't get me wrong, but I hate them all.

Tony B. said...

Horry should not be in the Hall of Fame. He's a great role player who was lucky enough to play with some of the best players of our generation. That is a ridiculous argument and the ESPN guy who wrote that should be stripped of all credentials.