Monday, August 18, 2008

Orton, Grossman, Moxon, Grenouille, Anybody Else?

The Chicago Bears named Kyle Orton (shown training for this season) their starting quarterback today. I really don't have an much of an opinion on it. I always liked Rex Grossman (or more specifically I gave him the benefit of the doubt more times than most other Bears fans) but he really hasn't done much grab hold of the first-string position. And really, neither has Kyle Orton. But considering the options, I'm just going to roll with it and hope for an 8-8 type season. But I have to wonder, who would be a better option for the Bears?

Gee Grenouille - I believe he might be a good choice because the Bears win with defense and the QB just has to "manage the game." Grenouille relied 100% on Bobby Boucher to attack offenses. This was exemplified by other teams kneeling the ball down and punting back to Gee's team. The difference is, in the Waterboy, they didn't have Devin Hester returning punts.

Jonathon "Moxy" Moxon - The Beak once led the West Canaan Coyotes to the district championship after their first string quarterback busted up his knee. He showed commitment and focus (turning down the Ali Larter whip cream bikini) and had an inspiring speech to rally the team at the district championship game.

Joe Kingman - The Rock will not let anyone down on the football field. Though he may look like a defensive lineman or linebacker- I'd trust the Rock with an eight-year old daughter that I've never met, so why not trust him with the Bears offense?

Radio - Better decision making than Grossman, more athletic than Orton- I really don't see where this could go wrong.

There are many other good candidates (Jamie Foxx, the blond dude from Remember the Titans, Michael Vick) but for now I guess we're going with Kyle Orton. I'm very open to direct snapping it to Devin Hester and seeing what happens, but until then- let's complete some 5 yard out patterns!

* NOTE: In thinking about it, this is actually pretty similar to an entry over at The Money Shot from January 10 of this year. You can read that one HERE. G$ talks about the Redskins finding a coach by going the Hollywood route. Respek.


GMoney said...

It's all good. The Bears will be lucky to win 5 games this year. Let's not forget that their head coach is completely inept.

Tony B. said...

You know, I always liked Lovie, but man, I'm a pretty forgiving fan and even I'm starting to question him.