Tuesday, December 23, 2008

The Yankees Cash In

In a move that was not totally expected, the Yankees signed Mark Teixeira for 8 years- $180 million. Their line up and pitching staff is now unbelievable and barring any injuries, they will be making a return trip to the post season. Instead of breaking it down, I'm going to write what fans of particular teams should be thinking:

YANKEES - "Oh my Lord in Heaven- in return for one year out of the playoffs, you have give us an unbelievable bounty of excellent players. For this we give thanks." (note: It is unclear if the Steinbrenners pray to regular God, the Baby Jesus, Allah, Tom Cruise or the Devil but somebody somewhere is getting it done.)

RED SOX - "The stupid Yankees are at it again. Don't they realize that signing players like this is ridiculous. You guys can have Johnny Damon and Jason Giambi. Old overpaid players aren't worth it. We'll keep scrawny guys from Woodland, CA who win MVP Awards."

NATIONALS - "Phew, that was close. Despite Tex being a great player, he wouldn't help us win, so there is no point in signing him. We remember what happened to the Orioles and Miguel Tejada and it didn't get them into the playoffs. Let's keep building like the Rays."

ORIOLES - SEE NATIONALS & "Great. Now we have to play 15 games a year against hometown heroes AJ Burnett and Mark Teixeira. Awesome."

ANGELS - "Seriously? We're going to get beat this year by the real-life version of Major League's Cleveland Indians (AKA the Oakland Athletics)? We were the best team in the Major Leagues last year and we have done NOTHING this off-season. I'm angier than Lou Ferrigno's Hulk. Oh well, at least I'm not a Dodger fan."

CUBS - "Who cares? We didn't get Jake Peavy and I'm bummed. Anybody have an Old Style?"

Ironic statement of the day was a Red Sox fan on the mlbtraderumors board- "I had hoped the Sox would sign Teixeira, but oh well. This sport really needs a salary cap!" Aren't they typically over the luxury tax amount every year also? I get a smaller market team fan complaining about the Yankees, but a Sox fan? Give me a break!

PS: Did you see that Bears game last night? They're not good, but it would be awesome for the Bears to knock the Vikings out of the playoff eligibility. Go Giants this week!

1 comment:

GMoney said...

The Sox weren't over the threshold this season...just the Yankees and Tigers. But still, them bitching about a salary cap is laughable. And John Henry is the biggest loser in baseball. I hate that guy.