Thursday, February 12, 2009

Brett Favre Is Done!

Ah, it is not a sad day for this Chicago Bears fan- finally Brett Favre is retired! And barring a lame un-retirement where he goes to the Vikings and wins a Super Bowl, the football world is rid of this Wrangler Jeans wearing, corn-fed redneck! Here is a list of things that Brett Favre has given:

To Bears Fans: Daggers in the heart. He threw more touchdown passes against the Bears than against any other team. In fairness, the Bears were terrible for most of Brett's career, but that doesn't make it any better. In fact, it makes it worse.

To NFL Fans: Exciting yet bone-headed play. One second you'd think this guy is the best ever, the next second he throws a Pick 6 against the NY Giants in overtime of the NFC Championship game. Had the Pack won that game, the Patriots would've gone 19-0- I'm sure of it.

To Comedy Fans: Frank Caliendo's career. That guy does a pretty good impression of John Madden. I say impression because the sound of his voice sounds like Madden, but the content is just NOT funny. He stutters, says "Brett Favre" 5,000 times, and talks about meat. I blame Favre for Caliendo's rise and the dumbing down of America.

To Comedy Fans Part 2: A great cameo in "There's Something About Mary." Put one in the positive column for Brett.

To ESPN Fans: Constant interuptions of sports highlights, other sports news, and ESPN SportCenter commercials. That family of channels was diseased with too much Favre last summer, and it'll probably inundated this year as well:

"What's Brett doing on his farm now- Hunting? Fishing? Running naked through the woods?"
"Brett rode his tractor today while wearing Wranglers."
"Brett hung out with Larry the Cable Guy."
"Brett played catch with the broad-side of a barn today- he threw 3 picks."

Give it up ESPN, your love affair is over.

To Jets Fans: A monumental collapse. The only way it can be done with Favre- crash and burn. Someone find the blackbox because no one can't figure out how the Jets managed to miss the playoffs (get it? Jets/crash/blackbox- OK, I'm an awful writer...)

To Roberto Alomar: AIDS. Ok, that one is just plain not true. In fact, that's border line evil. But there was no other way to put up this LINK.

In all seriousness, I know Favre was a good QB who had a great career. I think he is overrated in that many think he is the greatest of all time (which he is not.) You have to win more championships to truly be considered the greatest of all time. His primadonna attitude was alienating teammates, and at least part of the reason for the Jets demise. I'm also sick of "Favrewatch" taking over ESPN. Thank you for at least not having another lame press conference and giving the Network more fodder for the masses- for that, Favre, I thank you.

Adieu.

4 comments:

GMoney said...

The most relieved person in the country right now is Wendi Nix who will no longer have to follow this jackass around.

Tony B. said...

Excellent point G$. It just doesn't seem like ESPN is being efficient with their staffing:

Wendi Nix: Favre
Ed Werder: Cowboys
Pedro Gomez: Barry Bonds

Annoying Blogger said...

Darn, I used to love sportscenter last offseason when there would be 6 NFL live updates an hour informing me about Brett.

This year I guess I'll have to settle with the A-Rod watch.

Matt Clark said...

Way to much hype for maybe the 7th or 10th best QB of all time he should have hung it up after the nfc championship game