Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Top Five Bands That Don't Do It For Me

As with all of my Top Ten (or in this case, Five) Lists, these may incite a heated debate. To clarify, this list is full of bands that I have some to moderate respect for (Nickelback and Kid Rock just got disqualified), but that don't do it for me. This could be a little like when one of your friends says a particular celebrity girl is good looking, but you disagree because she's not your type. One of the reasons I'll write this is because people will request for me to play songs by these bands, and I essentially refuse to take any time out of my day to learn anything by them. Without delay, here are some bands that don't inspire me at all, but that I don't find wretched:

5. Smashmouth - Many people forget their first album featured a decent song in "Walking On The Sun" and also was Parental Advisory for Explicit Lyrics! What?! When I first mentioned them, you probably thought of one of two things- the song "All Star" on the Shrek Soundtrack or two, their cover version of "I'm a Believer" which was featured on the, uh- well, the Shrek Soundtrack. As soon as they jumped on the kiddie movie bandwagon there was no going back. On the bright side, it has effectively ended their ability to produce new music and they have wandered into obsurity. They may still be receiving royalty checks from their clear and utter sell out, but one thing no one can call them is "cool."

4. Lenny Kravitz - "Are You Gonna Go My Way?" had shades of Jimi Hendrix somewhere in there, but Lenny's entire catalog is riddled with songs that do not make my ears perk up. It seems like every song of his that I hear is a hollow version of something else I've already heard. "Fly Away" is a good example of that. I'd say that song feels like Lenny woke up one morning and said, "I don't really like this Pearl Jam/Stone Temple Pilots thing, but the people sure do! Let's write an Alt-Rock song!" Once every six years I'll find myself listening to a Kravitz song and enjoying, but once that one song is over his whole catalog feels stale again.

3. Lynyrd Skynyrd - I know a lot of people might disagree, or even dislike me as a person for this opinion, but this band does nothing for me. "Sweet Home Alabama" is easily the most overrated song ever written. Well, that is until Kid Rock ripped it off and used the beat to make another hit song last year. LS's extended guitar solos may be musically impressive, but many times they are tedious and uninteresting. And don't get me started on the people who yell out "Free Bird!!!" at every concert. I do respect a certain amount of their musicianship, and the fact that a plane crash cannot stop this band from touring (I have no idea how many of the original members are left, but it can't be many.) However, listening to "Sweet Home Alabama" have consumed any less than 8 strong cocktails should be considered pain on par with Chinese Water Tourture.

2. Sublime - Alright we get it! Alternative rock with a Latin/Reggae vibe that talks excessively about dirty sexual stuff and weed. The jig is up! Had their lead singer Bradley Nowell not died, this band would not have sniffed the popularity they garner today. I'm pretty sure I've had people attempt to fight me over this opinion. I know life and death are serious things, but they should not affect how well a band is remembered. John Lennon was murdered and Kurt Cobain eligedly committed suicide and both of their bands are way better than Sublime. I literally change the channel every time they come through on my car's radio waves which is why they make the list.

1. The Red Hot Chili Peppers - No band exemplifies the theme of today's post than RHCP. While the picture to the right should be enough to get my point across, I have musical gripes as well. The overall feel of their music too frenetic for me to really get into (note: there is plently of loud and fast music that I like- read frenetic as "wild, all over the map, and trying to squeeze too many notes into places where they don't belong.") The musical talent is clearly there, but the sound that they produce does nothing for me. Anthony Kiedus' voice grates on my ears (perfect example is the chorus to "Soul to Squeeze" off the Coneheads Soundtrack.) There was definitely points in my life that I wanted to like RHCP (Blood Sugar Sex Magik and Californiacation were the their two closest albums to winning me over, but alas it was not to be.) Also, what's up with them having an album called Californication, a song called Dani California, and them mentioning California as much as possible in every song. It's a pretty sweet state to live in, but even the Golden State can be diminished by over-referencing.

So that's my list. For any person that takes offense to any group on this list just remember, I still do mildly respect all of these bands- I'm just letting loose with why they don't quench my thirst for good music the way other bands do. Feel free to let me know in the comments bands that you may half-way respect, but can't stand to listen to- hell, you can even tell me if this list makes any sense! Happy Hump Day!

PS: No new Lost on tonight, so no Lost blog either. Sorry folks! Complaint letters can be sent to ABC.

7 comments:

Rae said...

Most of these I can agree with. Sublilme was all the rage in my HS cos the band teacher used to play with him (he's credited on 40oz).

... BUT LYNYRD SKYNYRD!!!?!?

i think you are dead to me. It's tradition, dude. when the spring fever kicks in, the only remedy is Free Bird. That and beer. Preferably both at the same time.

Tony B. said...

@ Rae - this is exactly why I can't get into LS. Their music is very repetitive, unoriginal and their fans will not allow you say anything other than "Skynard is effing best band of all time!!!" I stand by my opinion.

In the positive, I have at least a shred of respect for them or they couldn't make the list. The lack of respect is why the Steve Miller Band didn't make it on the list.

Tony B. said...

Oh, and for anyone wanting to request Sweet Home Alabama - the going rate is $500 for 4 choruses- otherwise, I'll stick to playing my acoustic version of Ignition (the Remix).

Clarkster said...

I have to respectfully disagree with you on sublime. They have alot of great songs and I think they were just hitting their stride when Bradley Nowell died his death has nothing to do with their popularity It's there great songs that made them popular.

GMoney said...

Mucho gusto, me llamo Bradley...I'm hornier than Ron Jeremy. What great lyrics!

Free Bird is awful...much worse than SHA.

OK, the Chili Peppers. I thought that Californication was fantastic and a great comeback album. But their latest album is awful except for Snow. I saw them in Dayton while I was in college and was underwhelmed. The Foo Fighters, who co-headlined, were far superior in every aspect and this was back in 2000 when Californication just came out. But I do diagree with one thing...Soul To Squeeze is fucking awesome. And Road Trippin' is truly a hidden RHCP gem.

Tony B. said...

@ Clarkster - I suppose I overstepped some bounds forecasting an alternate present where Nowell didn't pass away, so who knows what would've happened. What I do know, is that I change the station every time they come on the radio. I used to like some of their songs, but none of them continue to interest me the way other bands do (for example, Nirvana.)

@ G$ - There are occasional songs by RHCP that I really want to like (Breaking the Girl or Around the World) but they just don't get it done overall. It sounds like we're closer in opinion than the other folks who have commented about the respective bands that they disagree with me on. What an awful sentence I just wrote!

I think RHCP find themselves at number one because it is a band that I should like, but don't. They failing because of high expectations I suppose.

Manny said...

Nirvana would probably be on that list for me. I respect the band, but I seriously cannot stand "Smells Like Teen Spirit." I do really like some of their songs, but overall as a band they really do not wow me. In my opinion their best work was the Unplugged performance, I actually like the whole album. I also cannot stand those Kurt Cobain wannabes. Seriously guys chill out. Why do you think he hated all the fame?

Guns N' Roses. Probably the most overrated band that I ever heard. Slash is indeed a great guitarist. However, I cannot stand Axl Rose. No way. Don't like his voice or anything about it. He spent about a decade working on the latest GNR album and it seriously sucks ass.

P.S. I just found this post. Hence, the delay in my comment time.