Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Sammy Sosa Tested Positive for Steroids?!

No way. I don't believe it. I can't believe it. I'm shocked.

Wait a second- we are talking about Sammy Sosa, right? They guy who hit 60 home runs in four different seasons? The guy who got caught corking his bat? The guy who got butt-hurt about Rick Riley asking him to take a drug test? The guy who forgot how to speak English when Congress called him to testify?

Look, we all have our favorite teams and our favorite players. I admit that I was naive in the early 2000s about players cheating. I saw the great home run hitting and wanted to believe it was legit. I had one of the great power hitters of my generation (Sosa) on my favorite team. I'll never forget the day he was caught with the corked bat. I believe they were playing against the then Tampa Bay Devil Rays at Wrigley when his bat shattered and the ump went over to check it. It was obvious that he was using a juiced bat. I felt as if I had just been cheated on by a girlfriend that I thought was faithful. As it turns out, that girl was a dirty little hooker.

Sosa had some lame excuses about the cork. It was his batting practice bat. He only uses it during BP to "impress the fans" with his long home runs. The bat was incorrectly marked and he used the wrong bat during the game. All ridiculous excuses.

So what is to stop him from using steroids? Uh, the simple answer is- "absolutely nothing." There was no testing, and no one really questioning all the home runs. Why wouldn't he be juicing? Oh, well I guess "because it is cheating" didn't really factor in at the time.

These days, I'm so much less sensitive to people getting exposed for steroid use. A-Rod, Manny, Sosa, Clemens, and Barry Bonds. Who cares? There's really no way to wipe the slate clean. We can't go back to 1977 and set off a hydrogen bomb so that steroids would never affect the course of the future- that only works on really awesome TV shows. If you pick out your favorite team, I guarantee there's at least one guy who has played for your team that was using steroids. It's time to crack down and go forward. Release the names on the supposedly anonymous list of players, or don't. It doesn't matter. I won't be surprised at anyone's name that shows up on it. We'd only release it because we as a society are curious like cats. Our nickname should be Whiskers.

Is there anyone's name who would shock you if their name showed up on that list? Mother Teresa? She used the cream and the clear to help the poor better. She led the league in helping give food and shelter to needy folks. Dick Cheney? Turns out him shooting that guy in the face with pigeon spray was an act of 'roid rage. Bono? The song "Elevation" was about using steroids. Jesus? C'mon, you think walking on water can be done without HGH?

The bottom line is that I, and probably most of society, am now desensitized to people getting caught using steroids. Slammin' Sammy used to be the toast of the Windy City, and now most people think he's a bum. Hell, instead of retiring his number, they gave it to Milton Bradley. That's how little respect the Cubs have for Sosa! They probably should retire number 21 on the grounds that it has been dirtied by the players who have worn it (I'm looking at you too, Jason Marquis.) We talk about moving forward, but the steroid story just keeps dragging on. Just continue to have a strict policy in all sports, so that athletes know that their careers are on the line if they touch the stuff. And for goodness sake- can we get back to watching baseball!?!?!?! Ever? Please?


Rae said...

'Why wouldn't he be juicing? Oh, well I guess "because it is cheating" didn't really factor in at the time.'

The bigger issue is how incredibly complex and bureaucratic major sports franchises are. I'm sure a lot of people were thinking "um... hello?!? wtf!" But just as cops can't start investigating people who have criminal backgrounds without having a specific crime they are investigating, the powers that be in MLB can't (or, more likely, won't) go raising questions about the cleanliness of their players without direct evidence of possible juice use, even in light of a professional criminal history.

Yes, you can hate the player. But you should also hate the game, or rather, what it's become in the hands of corporate greed and regulations.

Tony B. said...

Oh, the game definitely deserves to get hated on. Really, no one is blame-free from the teams down to the fans, but I would really like to get back to watching baseball rather than talking about who's done steroids.

GMoney said...

I won't ever forget that 1998 season due to the homers and the fact that that Yankees team was the best team of all time. I don't care anymore. I really don't.