Tuesday, August 25, 2009

The State Fair

At about 5pm on yesterday I was feeling much better. I was past my exhaustion and ready to get something to eat. Future Mrs. B. and I had tentative plans to go watch the band Tonic at the California State Fair. To be honest, we almost bailed on the whole plan, but in the end decided to stick to it.

I had never been to the State Fair, and it actually was pretty cool (well, as cool as fairs can be, I suppose.) The best part of the fair for me was the actual Tonic concert. There were plenty of free seats to be had so FMB and I went and took our seat (the band was already on stage when we got there, but we could hear the concert as we walked up to the entrance.)

This was actually the third time I've seen them play, but I'd never seen them as a headliner before (they had opened for the Verve Pipe and Third Eye Blind the two previous times.) Also, I believe they broke up a few years ago and recently decided to get back together. For anyone who is familiar with them, they played all the hits: "If You Could Only See," "Casual Affair," "You Wanted More," "Soldier's Daughter," etc. etc. It was a great show, and they announced that they will be recording a new album in October, so look out for that.

In addition to the actual concert, they had a woman near the front of the stage with a spotlight on her the whole time. Her purpose, you ask? To provide SIGN LANGUAGE for the concert. Now, in no way am I trying to offend anyone, and by all means, comment to explain if I'm missing something, but why in the holy hell would a deaf person sit at a music concert just to watch someone sign music lyrics for an hour and a half? Luckily Tonic's lyrics are decent (but not ground-breaking or mind-blowing) but at no point would it be worth sitting through a show without sound and only watching someone sign the lyrics. I imagine this would be like having Stephen Hawking read lyrics while a strobe-light hit you in the face. It's too bad they can't have someone like Ice Cube throwing down gansta rap lyrics while the woman signed away.

While providing the signs, she also took some artistic liberty to rock out while signing. She would sway like a stoned Woodstock concert goer while performing her majestic hand signals. Who knew the sign for "junkie" was stabbing your opposite arm with a knife made of air? She also signed, "Ooooh ooooh" with a few fist pumps! It was clearly a site to be held.

After the show, we rode the Ferris Wheel and the Yo-Yo (giant swings.) The fireworks went off at 10pm, which seemed to be a bit too brief. Last but not least, I had to take my chances with the basketball shot. I don't care if the damn Sacramento Kings were at the fair, I still think I was the best person in the house to shoot and win prizes on those rigged hoops. Obviously the hoops are smaller than regulation, the balls are stiff (that sounded funny) and the physical rims are probably greased. All you need is a lot of arc and the ability to shoot in a straight line and you've at least won a stuffed Grape Ape.

So I paid my $5 for three shots. 2 out of 3 should've gone in but of course, none of them did. I suppose I shouldn't have bragged in the previous paragraph about what a great shooter I am, huh? Like the truly addictive and competitive person I am, I threw down another $5 (In fact I paid with a $20 bill and the guy had to double check to make sure I was only paying for $5 worth of shots- I must've had a crazy look in my eyes.) On the second shot of three, I put one in, guaranteeing me a prize. The third shot was in and out, so I missed my chance at a Reggie Miller jersey (why do fair prizes always come from the ten years ago?) Final count:

Actual stats: 1 for 6 - 16.67% from the field
Hypothetical stats that I believe I deserved: 4 for 6 - 66.67% from the field

So what prize did I win for my future bride? It was, essentially, a white and black-striped tiger rug with an actual tiger head. It may be hard to envision, which is why I have a picture for you all. Beautiful isn't it? Quite the regal animal! So I paid $10 for an imitation Siegfried and Roy white tiger blanket. I'm going to be honest with you- it was totally worth it!

So that was my first experience at the California State Fair in Sacramento. In the end, it was a pretty fun night- white tiger rug and all!


Adrianne, Wedding Chicks "Real Bride" Blogger said...

Sir Emerson looks glorious draped across the back of our couch. The cats haven't laid there all day though.

GMoney said...

Tonic, eh? Nice. The Verve Pipe suck or sucks...whichever connotation works there.

Deaf people were there in force because the blind were offended and refused to go. "If You Could Only See" is a slap in the face to them. That was a joke!!!

That tiger rug will look better on Roy's throat than on your floor. Another tasteless joke!

Tony B. said...

G$! You're on fire today!