Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Rehearsal Dinner Debacle

We're less than two weeks away from the wedding, and I must say, I'm ready for it to be over. It's like having a large project in the most important college class, and by the end you are just ready to turn it in and graduate. This is not to say that the journey hasn't been enlightening and sometimes fun, but it's definitely more work/stress than I ever thought it would be.

That being said, I've been trying to think of how to occupy myself the night before, and the day of the wedding before the ceremony. I began thinking back to last year, and what I was doing on October 3, 2008. My buddy Mike was getting married and I was a groomsman. His wedding was actually on October 4, and the 3rd was the rehearsal dinner located at his parents' house. Include a massive amount of Blue Moon and scene:

The group was already excited as I had to pick up another groomsman at the airport. JP was coming up from the San Diego area, and he, Mike, and I used to do a fair amount of partying in our younger years. It was like a reunion concert- that is, if our music was drinking and our instrument of choice was alcohol.

JP and I picked up our tuxedos near Mike's parents' house, then cruised over. Upon getting there I remember two things- 1) they had a large spread of BBQ food and 2) the Blue Moon was flowing like water. To this day, I don't remember everything about the night. I've heard multiple versions, but here is what I know for sure.

- I definitely said some inappropriate things around many people at the party. I don't have quotes, but I was told I was being an ass.

- I told Future Mrs. B., "I can probably drive home, but I'll let you do it just to be safe." Then I proceed to give her (probably bad and loud) directions on the way home.

- We were in Vacaville, so the freeway ride back to Sacramento goes Vacaville, Dixon, Davis, then Sacramento. It takes about 30 minutes. At about minute 25, I felt an uncontrollable grumble in my stomach.

- In the passenger seat of my own car, I yell to pull over, and I begin throwing up all the BBQ food out the window. Obviously, some got in the car.

- JP was passed out in the back seat, and witnessed none of this.

- Once we got home, I was not done, and I promptly threw up all over the bathroom that FMB had cleaned earlier in the day. She helped me eventually get to bed, then cleaned- again.

- The next day, we did not use my car, so it sat in the sun all day.

- My head was absolutely obliterated. Horrible hangover. But I did have to wake up to go golfing at 9am with Mike and the groomsmen. It was surprisingly theraputic.

- On Sunday I spent upwards of $100 to get it cleaned and detailed. It was necessary.

- A week later, we still found a few chunks on the ceiling of my car. That either means that the detailers didn't do that great a job, or my impression of the devil from "The Exorist" was very accurate.

Why even bother to tell you this story? Well, to start, I want to remind myself of it so I don't do anything stupid on October 2 of this year. Waking up on my wedding day with the worst hangover of my life would not be helpful.

Second, to this day, FMB points to this moment as stone cold proof that she really, truly loves me. Cleaning up after someone's wretched and unholy regurgitation is definitely one way to prove one's love- though I don't recommend it.

Third, since it is coming up on the year anniversary of this happening, I can now look back and laugh at the situation. Do I plan on repeating this? Not at all! But sometimes you need a rainy drunk time to enjoy a sunny drunk time- or something like that.


Rae said...

I think you mean Blue Moon was flowing mellifluously. (@artwiculate)

Tony B. said...

Perfect usage! I would have used it if I knew that word existed while I was writing this one.

GMoney said...

Just relax. Have a few beers, but don't kill yourself. Your wife will be worrying about enough on that day, she doesn't need to see you at the alter whiter than a ghost and sweating out gin.

But as a guy who is still sore from the violent whiskey wretching that I gave myself on Sunday morning, what do I know? I feel bad for the hotel maid that had to clean that up.

Tony B. said...

Not to mention the fact that I'm singing at the ceremony, so I need to be intact for that.

I'm proud of your hangover, G$. You probably drank to have a good time and to lose the brain cells that remember square-dancing in PE while at West is Best. Way to represent.

Adrianne, Wedding Chicks "Real Bride" Blogger said...

One day... I will vomit everywhere. You will clean it, and get me ginger ale. ;)

Katrina said...

As a bridesmaid I won't allow you to drink so much at the Rehearsal that you will be hungover for wedding day. I will pry the wine from your hands. And most likely drink it myself. :)