Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Subway and Paul Blart

I have two individual things to mention today. No, I was not watching Monday Night Football last night, and I know there were two very good games (let's be honest, I didn't think they were going to be all that entertaining, and I have some serious work to do before the wedding.)

On Sunday, I decided that I will no longer be eating at Subway. I'm officially boycotting them. Why you ask? Well, because I've continued to fight the good fight. Check out their new commercial:



That's right, in conjunction with concert industry giant Live Nation, Subway has prominently used a guy wearing a Nickelback t-shirt winning their new peel off game. Not only do all of your stores amazingly smell the same (not in a good way), but you're now actively promoting music that could be the favorite among members of the future society in the movie "Idiocracy." This is no good. It's a great reminder to not eat at your terrible sandwich shop. There are plenty of fine deli shops that beat your product and don't promote the most evil and dumbed-down band in the history of music. (Note: since writing about Nickelback a week ago and linking to their album on Amazon, Amazon now thinks I'm interested in buying their album and they consistently show up on my front page. It's killing me.)

The only reason I'd eat at Subway now, is to actually win the contest, go backstage at a Nickelback concert, and punch Chad Kroeger in the face. This is not a good enough reason to still eat there because it's unlikely that I'd win and if I did win and successfully accomplished this mission, it would land me in jail.

On to my second item of the day. I went over to the mall yesterday because Future Mrs. B. and I were looking for some wedding stuff. We passed the Build-A-Bear shop and saw quite the scene. The mall security guy, on his two-wheel scooter was gentely rocking back and forth in front of their store while talking to/hitting on a female employee of the Build-A-Bear shop. It was one of the most wonderful/ridiculous/blatant misues of time I've ever seen. FMB and I were immediately cracking up. She said, "We should take a picture." I kind of brushed it off (though I should not have) as I didn't want to be obvious about how much we were snickering behind their backs (in fairness, there was nothing subtle about these two.)

We started guessing what their conversation would be like:

"Yeah, I was just promoted to assistant to the assistant mall security guard. That's why I get this mostly neon green with black trim outfit. And this tricked-out two wheeler."

"Oh, that's cute! Maybe when I get off work you can take me for a ride."

"Sorry sweetness. This scooter only stands one- and I'm a lone ranger on this hog."

"How exciting!"

"Yeah, well not everyone gets to be in public service and help people... I guess I'm one of the lucky ones..."

"Definitely. So you should come by and "Build-A-Bear" sometime, on one of your days off."

"Honey, crime here at the mall never takes a day off- and neither do I."

As you can see, this goes on for awhile as we were thoroughly entertained by this scene. After about 20 minutes in Macy's, we started back. As we passed the Build-A-Bear shop they were still there! Flirting it up and ignoring their jobs right in front of the door. It was awesome. FMB refused to lose at this point. She decided to take a picture with her phone (I'll put it here when I get it.) She took a couple snaps, and that's when we realized we weren't the only ones who thought this was hilarious. A group of 3 guys all had their cell phone cameras out and were getting shots as well. I think there was even someone on the opposite side of the Build-A-Bear door that was taking a photo as well! It was good to know we weren't alone in appreciating this once-in-a-lifetime (read as: anytime this two people work at the same time) occurance.

To recap: Boycott Subway because they promote Nickelback. Mall security cops flirting with Build-A-Bear employees is hilarious. And for good measure, let's boycott Build-A-Bear too. No one needs a stupid Build-A-Bear!

2 comments:

GMoney said...

I actually have Paul Blart coming on Blockbuster mail-thingy. I'm not ashamed.

You should boycott Subway because the sandwiches aren't good, Jared Fogle, and the 5 Dollar Footlong song (which will surely get ripped off by Nickelback).

Tony B. said...

If Paul Blart is half as funny as what I saw yesterday, then you are in for a treat!

Yeah, I suppose it was all too easy for me to give up Subway due to their horrible sandwiches- but I was offended by their commercial, and it deserved a mention.