Friday, October 2, 2009

The Final Countdown

Cue the song by Europe- it's the final countdown before I hitch my trailer to Future Mrs. B., as the NWO would say, "FOR LIFE." While my days as a single man were fun, I'm 100% ready settle down with the absolute right woman for me. I don't really think much will change once we tie the knot, but here are somethings I'm looking forward to as I get married and grow older.

- Opening Beer Bottles With My Wedding Ring - Now, I'm not 100% sure I'm actually going to do this, but commenter Clarkster and his brother have both showed me how it's done and it does look pretty fun! You use the side of the ring closest to your wrist and pop open the top. Great party trick...

- Finally Figuring Out What To Do With My Life - My job has been very good to me, and my musician life has been great too, but it's time for me put my career goals in Drive rather than cruising in Neutral. This could involve having my new album blow up and me become a full time musician. It could involve going to grad school for something (who knows what, but something where people will eventually call me "Master" or "Dr. B.") It could involve me starting my own business (probably would involve music entertainment on some level.) I need goals, and I will work tirelessly to get them done!

- Getting A House - Can't do it just yet, and while living in a one-bedroom in Sacramento sounds extravagant, Future Mrs. B. and I are over it. We're outgrowing the space, and if we ever decide to add to the family we obviously will need a bigger space. Speaking of...

- Emotionally Damaging My Own Gene Pool - You have to figure it'll happen sooner or later. While we're not ready yet, kids are only a few years away. All parents damage their kids emotionally, but some do it in a successfully productive way to better them, and others just plain create serial killers and strippers. Keeping our hypothetical daughter off the pole will be goal numbero uno if we ever have one!

- Breaking The Stereotype By Not Making Lame "Ball & Chain" Jokes - No one twisted my arm to get married, and to be honest, my almost wife is pretty damn cool. I wish she liked football a bit more, but she's cool with sports in general, supportive of my music, she's really funny, and she helps me improve at things I would be otherwise bad at. There's no need for me to complain and make tired stereotypical jokes about "having to tend to the wife" or using her as an excuse to not hang out with my friends.

- Wearing A Ring - This may save a few awkward situations at shows. Like I've said before, I definitely don't get hit on all the time at shows, but it's enough to make for a few weird moments that I would prefer to avoid. Maybe they'll see the ring and avoid me. On the other hand, maybe I'll be that much more unattainable and stoke the fires of envy in the loins of skanks. One can never be sure...

- Never Having To Say "My Fiance" Ever Again - How snoody does that sound? Can't we come up with a better word than "fiance?" This is America! The land of Freedom Fries and we can't come up with a better term for your significant other during an engagement? Sorry, Lee Greenwood. I am not proud to be an American right now!

- Not Having To Worry About Wedding Planning - I wasn't sold before, but now I am fully aware that planning a wedding is a lot of work! There are so many aspects to it, and when you (and all financial backers involved) shell out thousands of dollars for one day, it better be perfect! That's a lot of pressure when you think about it. It will be nice to enjoy our relationship without all the time and energy it takes to plan a wedding cutting into our daily lives. It will be glorious!

- Miscellanous Upside - There might be perks I haven't even thought of yet! You married folks can let me know some of your favorite aspects of being married (or even things I need to watch out for.)

Overall, I'm excited to get married and then travel out of the country for the first time. It's on to Jamaica, mon! Where's my steel drum at? Feelin' hot, hot, hot...

6 comments:

GMoney said...

Good luck, my man. The day goes by fast. Just remember, it is not YOUR day. You are just a part of it. It's your wife's day. Just don't fuck it up.

And you are wrong about one thing. Using your wife as an excuse is absolutely awesome. Say a "fringe friend" asks you to come out and celebrate something with him and you know it will be lame and you would rather stay home and lay on the couch. USE THE WIFE TO YOUR ADVANTAGE!!!

Tony B. said...

Very sagely advice G$ Won Kenobi. I didn't even think of that...

Considering our photographer was in a head-on collision and is in a coma right now, I'd say the day is off to a crazy start (in no way am I making light of this accident- I really like our photographer and I was personally affected by this terrible accident.)

Rae said...

This is going to be a long one. (THAT'S WHAT HE SAID!)

- I've only ever opened a bottle with the side of my ring farther from my wrist. We shall have to compare.

- No one ever has their life figured out. Stop thinking that any one thing will provide supreme clarity.

- I am so doing everything in my power to set you up for near-constant ball-and-chain jokes form now on.

- Start having babies now, please. I want to play with your offspring.

- G$ is dead on: not your day, hers. Enjoy it almost as much as you enjoy seeing how much she enjoys it.

- Holy shit! Positive thoughts to your Photographer :(

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