Friday, January 22, 2010

Bathroom Ediquette and Brett Favre

I've been drinking a lot of water recently, I went to the restroom near my office yesterday to relieve myself (number 1.) Normally, it is completely peaceful in this particular bathroom because the outer doors to the building are normally locked so no passer-bys can come in to use it. However, they are doing some construction in the building, so there are construction workers wandering around doing work (hopefully.)

I walk into the restroom not expecting anyone to be in there. Unfortunately, my expectations were dashed immediately. I heard a rustle in the far left stall. I found this odd because out of my peripheral vision, I could see that all the stalls were open. To my extreme disappointment, a construction worker was using the stall (number 2- I could see his feet facing out) with the door wide open. Luckily, I did not have a straight line of sight in to accidentally scar my corneas permanently, but still, close the damn door!

I thought, "He had to have heard me come in- why wouldn't he just shut the stall?" Initially the door was completely open. Because of the way the door is set up, I'm assuming he moved his legs to close the door, however, he did not close it all the way. He left the door a quarter of the way open. It's not like these stalls are the most roomy stalls ever, he could have easily leaned forward and closed it completely, but I suppose that would be too much effort.

My next thought was (and this was mid-urination), "There's no way he's going to come out until I'm done. He's not going to want to show his face." How wrong I was.

I moved to flush the toilet and I hear his toilet flush simultaneously. Damn. I walk to the sink and try to wash my hands and escape before he walks over to the same area. I look in the mirror as the burly construction worker emerges. He makes eye contact with me and walks right out the bathroom door. The nasty dude did not wash his hands. Even better, he placed his newspaper on a bench right outside of the bathroom. How thoughtful! Someone can read your paper and get your fecal germs on them at the same time!

I looked directly to my right and saw a sign that says, "HAND WASHING PREVENTS DISEASE." Why yes it does, but this guy had no regard for combating disease whatsoever. Maybe he's trying to spread the swine flu. That seems like something Brett Favre would do. Speaking of Brett Favre...

Here are my predictions for the weekend:

Saints 38, Vikings 31

Colts 20, Jets 13

You'll get the Saints vs. the Colts in the "Archie Manning Bowl," which is much better than the "Brett Favre Bowl." I'd rather shake hands with the aforementioned construction worker than watch that crap.


GMoney said...

If you aren't going to wash your hands after a dump, at least FAKE IT. For everyone else's sake. I bet that guy touches your stuff after you leave for the day.

Speaking of dumps...BRETT FAVRE!!!

Tony B. said...

Luckily, the guy isn't working in my office and he would need a security code to get in. Crisis averted- for the moment...

I hope the Saints destroy the Vikings this weekend. Brees will get surgical with those bitches.

Jack O'Neill said...

I loved those bathrooms. I loved them even more than the single one on the first floor. As for the construction worker completely abusing that bathroom, I have a big problem with that. I thought the riots caused by the increase in tuition was bad, this clearly takes the cake!

オテモヤン said...