Tuesday, January 19, 2010

A Case of the Mondays: Tuesday Edition

I not only love Martin Luther King, Jr.'s message, I love the fact that I (and many other people who don't work for racist companies) got a three-day weekend this past weekend. Did I do great things with my extra time this weekend? Eh- no "I Have A Dream" speeches, but it was fun and fairly relaxing.

- I finally got around to watching "Land of the Lost" with Will Ferrell and Danny McBride. Danny McBride is literally the only funny aspect of the movie. It was an oddly paced movie with Will Ferrell playing a bumbling scientist that was more stupid and less funny. I suppose it is worth watching once, but overall, I was not impressed. Luckily, my copy of "The Hangover" came from an unnamed website that gives great discounts, but until they sponsor some ad space on this blog, they are not getting a mention! I'd obviously seen "The Hangover" before, but it was a nice antiseptic mouthwash for the halitosis that was "Land of the Lost."

- Another thing I finally got around to was cleaning the bathroom Saturday morning. I was joined by Mr. Clean, AJAX, and Windextor to create a spotless and organized bathroom. Worst part? Our fan in the bathroom is broken so the fumes helped turn the room into a gas chamber. I escaped before passing out- barely. It would have sucked if Mrs. B. came home to find me passed out in the bathtub with a bottle of Windex and me bloody and naked. Why naked? I have no idea, but that just seems funnier.

- After watching an entertaining start to the NFL playoff weekend (and I'm literally talking about the first quarter of the Saints/Cardinals game) it was downhill from there. I ended up skipping the second half of the Colts/Ravens game as we went to our friend's birthday party. It seems like that second half was totally boring and that my choice of drinking gin and playing Rock Band 2 was a much better decision. Spoonman! Come together with your hands! Save me! I'm together with your plan!

- I hate the Cowboys. But let's keep it real, I can easily express my level of hate for the Cowboys with this simple mathematical inequality:

[Editor's note: the original post was somehow corrupted, sorry for any typo confusion]

My levels of hate -->

Scabies < Nickelback < Cowboys < Vikings < Favre

Yes, I hate bugs that burrow under the skin less than Nickelback. Here is my list of like:

Levels of like-->

Gibson Guitars = Chicago Cubs = Chicago Bears < Getting Laid

I might be married, but sexual activity is still at the top of the list!

What the hell was my point? Oh, I hate the Cowboys, but I was definitely cheering for them over the Vikings and Favre. You can see clearly that I hate Favre and the Vikings more individually than I do the Cowboys. Put them together and it's not even a hard decision. Some people might think about cheering for a division rival of their favorite team in order to say, "Well, the NFC North (in this example) was tougher than the the NFC East this year." I'm here to say that those people are stupid. One must always cheer against their rival or risk getting their "True Sports Fan" card taken away like Liam Neeson's daughter in the movie "Taken" (yes, that means it would be sold into an underground sex slave ring and you would have to murder at least 50 dudes in order to get it back.) I was massively disappointed that Favre and the Vikings triumphed, but I'm hoping for them to take a beating by the Saints. Will Smith should not be afraid to go all "Wild, Wild West" or maybe "Bad Boys II" on Favre and give him a career ending hit. He's had enough time to make up his own mind about retirement, so feel free to not give him a choice after this week.

- The Chargers game was just a huge let down. I did not want to see the Jets advance any further. It's not a cute underdog story when the underdogs are cocky about winning games when the Chargers should have had at least 6 more points (and that should have been 9, Nate Kaeding, but I'm being nice about your inept kicking.) You know, I can give myself the itinerary to playing music at Madison Square Garden, but that doesn't mean it's automatically going to happen (Coach Rex Ryan gave the Jets players the schedule that goes all the way up to Super Bowl Sunday.) I can't believe I'm going to have to cheer for the Colts next week. Ugh. Best case scenario: Saints/Colts in the Super Bowl. Worst case scenario: Brett Favre vs. His Old Team. Ouch.

- 24 is back! So far, it seems promising. It was funny to see Jack Bauer try to get out of being involved, but of course, they have a show to put on so he was eventually roped in. If stopping terrorist plots were sexual exploits, then consider Jack Bauer Tiger Woods. He's addicted to torturing lowlifes for information and pushing the buttons of the incompetent people in charge of government agencies.

- Top three songs that found their way into my iPod over the weekend: Sponge "Plowed," Faith No More "Epic," and the Presidents of the United States of America "Lump."


GMoney said...

Sponge is underrated.

I don't care what the matchup is, but I DO NOT want both Favre and Peyton there. Ugh.

24 has been OK. Chloe is still awful. Renee got even hotter now that she's crazy. Jack is a shitty grandpa. Kim Bauer needs to die still. Freddie Prinze has been surprisingly solid. His fiancee is a moron though who's side story is going nowhere.

That is the problem with 24. They have no idea how to write decent B and C stories.

Tony B. said...

G$, you would put critics out of business with succinct reviews like that.

Mrs. B. and I agreed last night while watching that Renee was hotter.

The fiancee side story confuses me because the crazy ex-boyfriend looks like Ricky Schroder. I thought his old character Mike Doyle was coming back as a psycho and then I realized it was a different guy.

Rae said...

For me it's more like Brett Favre < Cowboys <Vikings That man can DIAF.

But yes, getting laid is way WAY at the top of the like list.

Tony B. said...

DIAF = Die in a fire. Yes, I had to look that up, wanna fight about it?

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