Friday, February 26, 2010

Busy Weekend of Work- Play a Violin for Me

My job will have my working pretty hard today and tomorrow, so unfortunately, I'm not going to be all that productive with my post. Here are some things I've found to be either hilarious or interesting:

- Robot Unicorn Attack - Easily the gayest guilty pleasure of all time. It's a flash game where you are a unicorn and you gallop along, jumping over things, and shooting rainbows out of your eyes- all the while listening to "Always" by Erasure. You'll see what I mean.

- I'm currently reading "The Stand" by Stephen King. Only about 70 pages in so far, and that book is beastly. I just hope I finish it. So far, it's still setting everything up.

- Tosh.0 has been the funniest show on TV these days. He's sarcastic, witty, playfully racist/sexist, and shows the cream of the crop of online videos. I'm not sure if I've posted this before, but this is a great example of how funny his show is:



- Also, the new Old Spice commercial is hilarious. I imagine it will be played out by the end of the weekend, but enjoy it now while you can:



- Sending out some love to 2birds1blog writer Meg who was fired yesterday when her bosses found her blog and are now pursuing legal action. She definitely tells things in an honest and hilarious fashion, so hopefully this is her former bosses being initially offended by Meg telling it the way it is. I hope it all works out for Meg, and it is a fine example of why bloggers maybe should be anonymous (note to self- become anonymous.) I have a feeling she'll be fine... just fine. Fine.

Enjoy the weekend while you still can.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

The Beer Glass Incident

In thinking about some of the fights I've almost been in, there was one incident that sticks out in my mind. Soon after I graduated college, I would go out in downtown Davis with my buddies, JP and Mike quite often. Both of these guys were former wrestlers, so while they were friendly most of the time, they could turn really dangerous if threatened.

We were an imposing group. I mean, three huge guys (and 2 of the 3 of us actually knew how to fight) bar hopping in downtown Davis was not the normal group. The likelihood of us starting a fight was 0%. But there was this time (and a couple others) that almost provoked us.

We were at Froggy's, which is a corner bar with many windows. Most the time, they had high tables set up for the groups that got their early, and the rest of the people would just stand around, mingle and get drunk. On this night, JP and I were drinking some beers and talking to some girls that I knew from work. Mike was missing in action, and I can't remember if he ended up coming out later, or not.

Sticking out like a sore thumb was a guy sitting by himself at a table in the center of the room, but closest to the bar. Normally tables are prime real estate, so you should either bring a group with you, or find some girls to accompany you at the table so you don't look like a loser. The other option is to mill around and strike up conversations rather than sit at the table, but this guy was apparently not into the whole being social thing. Our standing group was fairly close to this guy's table.

I finished my glass of beer and decided that a huge open table would be a great place to put an empty beer glass. I was, in fact, correct in thinking this. However, the lonely guy at the table did not believe I had the right to place anything on his table.

The Guy: Hey man! What do you think you're doing?!
Me: Uhh, putting my beer glass on the table. There are cocktail waitresses to pick up empty glasses. It'll be gone in a minute.
The Guy: My brother is in the bathroom and you just put your glass in front of his seat. You better move your glass.
(I take the glass and move it three inches to the left.)
Me: Relax, the glass will be gone in a second.
The Guy: [acting tough, he grumbles] It better be...

I looked over at JP and he knew exactly what I was thinking. Get ready, this could be our night to get in a bar fight! Since the guy was a little shrimp, and his brother genetically couldn't be all that different, we would win a fight hands down. I mean, I've put a beer glass down on a crowded table before, and no one batted an eyelash. This guy had a wide open table and he's getting his panties in a bunch about it.

Literally 15 seconds after our interaction, a waitress picked up my glass and just like that- it was gone! I couldn't resist. It was too perfect of a moment.

Me: Oh my God! What happened?! It looks like the glass is gone! I guess there really wasn't anything to be worried about, was there? And where is your brother?! It looks like he's not even back from the bathroom! How amazing is that?!
The Guy: Keep talking, just keep talking.
Me: I will keep talking, and you're going to take it because you're being a dick. Now just shut your mouth and let it go.

I could see the rage building in JP. He was ready to go. It's such a great feeling when your friend is a) a massive beast of a weapon and b) totally has your back in situation like this. He was ready to throw down, but the guy had backed off a bit, so the prospect of the fight was going south.

Soon after that, the guy's brother came out of the bathroom. He was wearing a Dodgers jersey, which only made us want to fight the two of them more. The guy pulled his brother aside and you could tell he was quietly explaining what had happened. Then he showed his brother who the two of us were, and his brother's reaction was like a cartoon. He grabbed the guy by the collar and they immediately left the bar. I suppose the two of them wanted no part of us.

Moral of the story: you can act tough if you have friends that know how to fight and will back you up. Secondary thing you should take from this story: if you call me out for any reason while I'm drinking, I may end up acting like Marty McFly when someone calls him "chicken." Or, I will at least lob a bunch of sarcasm your way that will make you angry.

For more on fights, check out G$'s blog today about high school fighting in NW Ohio. Sounds like I'm lucky I got out of the mean streets of the Northwest Signal territory in the fourth grade.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

LOST: Lighthouse

This should be quite a good episode. I'm excited to see some more follow-up with the Temple-Folk. Let's get to the action:

- Looks like a Jack episode- Matthew Fox already has his shirt off. Great.
- Hmm... weird scar on his lower abdomen. Relationship to the other timeline? Yep. It's his appendix scar.
- Christian isn't the only thing missing- his will is also missing.
- Jack is still rocking his beat up Jeep. Whoa! Jack has a kid and his name is David! More biblical names if you're into that kind of thing.
- Dogen and Jack are being "honest" with each other.
- Ha! Jacob at the fountain. He needs Hurley and he tells him to get a pen. Finally someone is talking sense on this damn show!
- Hugo is wearing a red shirt mocking the "red shirts" from Star Trek that would travel with Kirk down to a planet and inevitably get killed. Hurley is officially the safest guy on the island.
- David seems to be a little punk. Though I wouldn't be surprised Jack and David are just now getting re-acquainted.
- Jack's trying to atone for some issues the two of them have together.
- Sayid isn't a zombie... yet.
- Jack tells Sayid about the jagged little pill he didn't take. Too bad Alanis Morissette couldn't have taken that pill.
- Finally, after two seasons, Claire is back in business. Miss "I'm going to wander off into the jungle" doesn't seem to remember that she bounced, not the other 815ers.
- Hurley is found by Dogen, and Hugo tells him he's a candidate and Dogen curses his mother and leaves.
- Now Jack needs some convincing to go on this mysterious adventure.
- "You have what it takes." Nice inspiration speech, John Wooden.
- Claire is not at all phased that Jin can speak English. At least Jin is phased by his huge bear-trap wound.
- That is the grossest baby I've ever seen. It looks like the Rock had sex with a Muppet!
- The black dude is making some sense. Claire is looked ragged and crazy- and probably will kill both him and Jin.
- Kate, Jack and Hurley- this is like the Pixies reunion. Looks like they broke up already.
- Hurley is pretty damn funny. "Hey Jack, the Live Links Girl you've been pining after for five plus years is extra baggage..."
- Jack and his mom are looking for the will. Jack refuses a drink. Very important to the overall story.
- Christian's will is found... and Jack finds out that Claire is his sister all over again.
- Cute Claire with Charlie and an empty peanut butter jar was much more comfortable.
- Who is her friend? Locke? He's nobody's friend (@Rae- MIB is evil. Deal with it.)
- Back to Hurley and Jack- Hugo apologizes for "wrecking his game with Kate."
- Shannon's Ass-Mar inhaler. Aaaaand we're back at the caves.
- Jack sees his father's coffin. I'm enjoying this scene, it feels like we're getting back in touch with Season 1. Going back to our roots.
- Where's David? Jack is inspecting at David's mom's house... using the extra key. And David isn't there either. Hmmmm...
- David seems to be quite the musician.
- Jack listened to his own message and gets emotional. Doesn't seem to be too bad a dad.
- Hurley comments about this situation being "old school." My thought exactly.
- Jack admits he was broken and he thought the island could fix him. But he's lost his faith again.
- The Lighthouse- it's beautiful. Jack points out the obvious fact that they probably should have seen it previously.
- Claire learns the truth about Aaron. And she's not taking it well. Why's the black guy always got to die?!!?
- Hurley and Jack enter the Lighthouse. I'm predicting a "Bodies" exhibit. It seems like a museum.
- Jack breaks down the door. Maybe that's why he was supposed to go with Hurley.
- Jack is showing up unannounced to David's recital. Maybe not the best idea. He's unreal at piano... playing the BLACK and WHITE keys.
- Dogen is in the HIZ-OUSE! Damn him for being a good and present dad!
- Hurley is lying to Jack... I can't imagine Jack will like that.
- I did see "108" on that chicken scratch on Hurley's arm.
- Jack sees their names on the board. They turn it to 23 degrees and Jack sees his house.
- Jack is freaking out. Oh snap. There's no way that could've been good Jack. Uhhh... making things easier for MIB? I've got a bad feeling on that one.
- Back to reality (or is it?) Jack talks to David after the recital.
- "I didn't want you to see me fail." Ouch, it hits hard. Jack- you have what it takes.
- Jack is redeeming himself right now. Break the cycle of daddy issues on LOST!
- David's all smiles now. If only parenting was always that easy.
- Jacob is back and he's very aloof. Maybe he did want the Lighthouse mirrors to get smashed.
- Jacob is one big destiny guy. Uuuuh... too late for the Temple-Folks? That ain't good.
- Jin is getting crafty with Claire. You speak English with a slick tongue Mr. Kwon.

GREAT Episode! I really enjoyed it. I hope the Smoke Monster takes fools apart at the Temple! One question though... Sayid is still there. Does Jacob need him dead now, or did he purposefully keep Sayid at the Temple for some other purpose? And what about Miles? When Jack finally embraces his destiny, that will probably be the payoff of the show.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

All Star Voting By Fans

I know this is late, and probably irrelevant, but I heard Allen Iverson's name on the radio earlier, and became upset. No, not because his 4 year old daughter has a health condition (though that does suck and is the reason I initially heard his name on the radio.) It got me thinking about how in the hell he was voted to the All-Star Team this year.

I have a lot of friends who like the NBA enough to vote for the All-Star Team. Each one of them is knowledgeable enough to not vote for a guy who retired earlier in the year because he's not good anymore, only to sign with his former team that he once had success with. A team, by the way, that is horrible (and an underdog to the Warriors tonight- you don't see that too often.)

So who are these fans that vote for Allen Iverson? If you are a big enough fan to take time out of your day, go to the NBA website, and vote for the All-Star Team, how in the holy hell do you not take the time to watch a couple games. You could watch only highlights and realize that Allen Iverson is no longer one of the NBA's elite.

This happens in all sports where they allow the fans to vote. Many times, it doesn't matter and the fans get it right. But all too often there is a mistake. For all the public outrage at players who used performance enhancing drugs, Manny "I got suspended for 50 games" Ramirez almost got voted to the National League All-Star Team last year. If you are a fan of baseball, you would have at least a basic current understanding of the state of the game. Don't vote if you don't know anything about the game.

So if I'm wrong about any of my friends, and you did in fact vote for Allen Iverson, feel free to comment here. Bare your soul and get it off your mind. You may be subject to ridicule, but at least you'll start the process of repenting for making a common, yet egregious sports fan error.

Monday, February 22, 2010

A Case of the Mondays

That weekend went by way too fast. It was the Kaiser Soze of weekends. Let's review:

- I'm sick of Tiger Woods. I don't know why, but a lot of times I judge celebrities on a scale of how I think I would perform in a certain situation and go from there. For example, if I go to see a comedian live, and as I'm watching him I realize that the conversation during dinner before the show was funnier, then I obviously would not think highly of that comedian. With Tiger, I am 100% sure I'm a better public speaker than him, and everything he says comes off hollow and controlling. This might be excusable, but he also went to "the Harvard of the West" (nooo, not Stansbury- I'm talking about Stanford!)

He wasn't speaking from the heart, he was speaking from the "I need to find a way to get my ass out of this trouble!" portion of his brain and those are two very different things. Be genuine (very different from Ginuine- do NOT ride that pony, Tiger!) in the apology, open up a bit, or honestly, just win more major championships and everyone will forgive you, Tiger.

- Saturday was pretty productive. Mrs. B.'s mom brought her zillion dollar vacuum over and helped us steam clean our carpet. It's shocking how much crap came up into the tray where the foam collects on this model of vacuum. Apparently our carpet has been half cat fur for the last year. The good news is that we were doing this in an attempt to clean up for our new couch which is damn comfortable (even if it does dominate our entire apartment.)

- Later that night, I played for a packed house at the Boxing Donkey in Roseville. Do I know how to play "Poker Face" on the acoustic guitar? Yes. Am I proud of this? Not particularly. DOES THAT MEAN I SHOULD KNOW EVERY LADY GAGA SONG IN ADDITION TO "POKER FACE?" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, IT DOES NOT. I suppose I opened up this can of worms, but seriously, it's unrealistic to expect me to know all the Lady GaGa songs. Now if we're talking about "Tik Tok" by Ke$ha... Just kidding.

In all seriousness, it was a really fun show, though four hour shows do take a lot out of me. Three hour shows seem to be the "Baby Bear's Bed" of shows. Four hours is pretty tough to pull off, though it seems that I've proven it is do-able.

- Sunday was reserved for finishing up the record. Dusty Miller came in to lay down some bass tracks and they sound great! He helped out with songs "As You Wish," "This Time Around," "Second Rate Song," and "50 Stories." I was really impressed with his playing and hopefully we'll have a few full band shows when the album is released.

- Is it just me, or is the Cleveland Show really funny? I figured it would be a lame spin off when it was announced, but it seems to have more new episodes that Family Guy and many weeks it is actually funnier. I'm not sure it can keep that up, but I've been impressed thus far.

Baseball is upon us, and I'm excited! I'm not even sure the Cubs will be that great this year, but there's always hope that the prediction from Back to the Future II will be correct. What year did they go to the future in that movie? 2015? Hover boards, my ass.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Real World: Hell

This is the true story... of seven FAMOUS strangers... picked to live in a house...work together and have their lives taped... to find out what happens... when people stop being polite... and start getting real...The Real World.

When I was younger, I loved watching the Real World. My favorite season is still the San Francisco season that featured Pedro "Living with AIDS" Zamora and the ultimate antagonist Puck. Since then, I've watched some of the shows, but the format really has excelled until the recent Jersey Shore.

So what's the point? Well, with Tiger Woods' press conference coming today, and tons of other celebrities making mistake after mistake- my question is: which celebrities would you like to put in a house and see what happens? Think about all the possible combinations! Here are my seven famous strangers that I'd like to lock in a house like the people from the Chuck Palahniuk book "Haunted" (if you haven't read that book, just know that it is f***ed!"

1. Tiger Woods - Oh, he's definitely in the mix. We could watch as he struggles with his past and future sex addiction. If he gets through this CF of a living situation, then we can all forgive him and consider him "healed."

2. John Mayer - Now we're getting somewhere. First we bring in Tiger Woods, a sex addicted golfer. Now we have John Mayer, a sex addicted musician who also recently used the N-word in an interview. Fireworks already! Not only will they fight over who can score more than the other, maybe there will be a hot girl in the mix for them to compete over. And, we can see Tiger Woods possibly call John Mayer out on his racist "transgression."

3. Megan Fox - Let's be honest, this is a complete eye candy move. It's only to entertain the views, Tiger, and John Mayer. With any luck, she can turn into the monster from "Jennifer's Body" and eat everyone in the house.

4. A-Rod - Yes, I'm allowing A-Rod to bring his full length mirror so he can make out with himself. A-Rod will be there to incorporate gambling into the house, and help Tiger open up about his infidelity. I had to make the hard choice here, so you get A-Rod and no Madonna. You're welcome.

5. Taylor Swift - Now dealing with the public backlash of all the positive press from the Kanye West incident. Watch Taylor Swift fend for her innocence while living in a house sex addicted Tiger, hood pass John Mayer, and former Mr. Kate Hudson. Oh, aaaaand...

6. The Situation - Like I was going to leave this guy out of the mix! The Situation is perfect. He can ring lead delusional partying and hopefully get Tiger to "jump on a grenade." That would be the best.

7. Lindsey Lohan - I just wanted to put one more crazy person in the house. You never know what kind of friends Lohan would bring by, and she could probably out party most of these dudes. In fact, she may be the biggest threat to Taylor Swift's innocence.

Let me know who you'd like to see in the house instead. There's a lot of ways you could go with it, so feel free to let your imagination run free. 'Til next week.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Some Music To Check Out

While still getting over my cold, I'd like to make some music recommendations for everyone to listen to and enjoy. I've recently been listening to lots of Queens of the Stone Age, and I think you should too! Here's a single off their 2002 album "Songs for the Deaf."



Next up is Jet with "She's a Genius." I'm in on this based on the Teen Wolf look-a-like riding a bike around. Known more for "Are You Gonna Be My Girl?" Jet is a pretty awesome band.



The new Gorillaz single "Stylo" featuring Mos Def and Bobby Womack (?) I love everything the Gorillaz have done thus far, and I can't imagine their upcoming album being bad.



And just because this video is a classic- enjoy "Take On Me" by A-Ha. Watch the whole thing, is it better or worse than you remember from back in the day. I'm betting on worse.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

LOST: The Substitute

Last week's episode was ok, but I do have a feeling tonight will be more exciting. With no Man In Black/Ben/Alpert scenes last week, I have to assume we'll catch up with that party this week. Let's get it on!

- Sweet suburb life. Are we watching "My Blue Heaven" or LOST?
- Locke flash-sideways shows him getting out of his van- the motor is busted. He fell out of his wheelchair and the sprinklers went off. Helen is back, and it looks like they are getting married. Terry O'Quinn plays Al Bundy.
- Locke is lying already about his Australia trip. Peggy Bundy found Jack's card and encourages Locke to call him, further advancing the plot.
- Wow. First person view of the Smoke Monster. Talk about a fun possible video game. Doom featuring Smokie.
- Smokie is back in FLocke form. He cuts Alpert down from a tree, then tells him it's "time to talk." I have to agree with him.
- Locke is back to work bound in his wheelchair. The bossman is pissed. Locke never went to a conference. Where was he? Hookers and booze?
- Locke just got fired like Future Marty McFly when he did an illegal deal with Needles.
- A candidate? Speak some English guys.
- Information Blue Balls again. Alpert denies FLocke's offer. Then FLocke sees a child in the distance. We have issues if even the smoke monster is seeing things.
- Ilana is crying in Jacob's home/tomb.
- Ben is slowly but surely back to lying. Ilana is grabbing Jacob's ashes.
- FLocke is "recruiting." For an army? Hopefully he gets better folks than the soldiers from "Stripes." Odd reference, but that movie is hilarious!
- Sawyer is drinking his cares away, listening to rock 'n' roll, and looking like a scorned teenager. I wish he had found some Nirvana to blast.
- Sawyer is drunk and being totally lucid.
- "Why are you on this island?" Answer the question Smokie! Ugh. LOST is all about making us wait for scraps of info.
- Locke gets fired then the Box Company, and then meets the owner- Hurley.
- Hurley is quite confident in the flash sideways, he offers to hook Locke up with a new job.
- Sun wants to bury Locke. Not sure if that matters at this point.
- Back to FLocke and Sawyer, and they both see a kid running through the jungle. Uhhh, "Don't tell me what I can't do!" Looks like Smokie is taking up Locke's old slogan. That's a literary device called "irony." Remember, Alanis More-Upset once wrote a song about it.
- Alpert finds Sawyer and encourages Sawyer to go back to the Temple. Sawyer declines... for the moment.
- "What kind of animal would you describe yourself as?" Maybe a cat? I like naps, so I figure that might be a good match.
- Rose is the boss at the temp agency. She's dropping serious realistic knowledge on Locke. Hits him like a ton of wheelchairs- oh!
- Smokie has never read "Of Mice and Men?" What the hell? No high school English for this guy?
- Sawyer doesn't shoot FLocke, which is probably a good thing at this point.
- The mismatched group of Aijira 316 passengers are carrying Locke's body to the grave yard. That sucks. Ben volunteers to talk- wow, excellent eulogy from the man who murdered Locke.
- Flashsideways, Locke still can't walk, but he is going to call up Dr. Jack. Wait, he's still a pansy.
- The lost luggage arrives. Great- this fool has his knives back.
- Locke comes clean about the Sydney trip, and shows Helen knives.
- The Man of Faith has lost his way, but Helen is hopefully bringing him back to the righteous path.
- Nice rickety ladder. No chance I'm in on this idea. Sawyer fell from above- barely survived. Nothing worth doing is easy, right?
- What the hell? Nice cave with white and black rocks.
- This island has more secret passageways than Paris Hilton has sexual partners. Looks like numbers and names are carved on the inside of the cave. Thanks for another mystery LOST.
- Locke as a PE teacher? More like substitute teacher... maybe not a bad job for him.
- Ha! Ben Linus is a teacher at the high school? If the kids get out of line, I suppose he can choke them to death with an extension chord.
- Shepherd is number 23- JORDAN!
- They all have numbers assigned to them- the creepy numbers.
- Locke was #4.
- I rarely hate on LOST, but the cut scenes over explaining stuff is pretty lame.
- FLocke is lying his ass off. Though I like the candidate info.

The episode was pretty good, but more questions when you know the show is winding down is quite frustrating. I have a feeling these episodes (this week and last week) will be more interesting once we know more information.

[Started watching it again- missed this the first time. Helen says, "Why don't we get my parents and your dad, and just get married in Vegas." Locke was on good terms with his dad? How did he end up paralyzed!?]

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Case of the Mondays: Tuesday Edition

Ok, so I had yesterday off because of National Obama's Day. The worst part about Valentine's weekend is that I felt like I was coming down with a cold the whole time. It peaked Monday and I'm still not feeling great today. My beautiful singing voice is definitely hurting and my whole body is achy. With that being the case, here's a brief recap of the weekend that was:

- Friday I had the house all to myself because Mrs. B. had to work. I recorded some music videos that will probably go up on YouTube at some point, then drank some beers and watched 2 Fast 2 Furious. Could I have used my time better? Probably. Was it still fun in a ridiculous way? Absolutely.

- Saturday, I made it to the gym in the morning, then raced home to go ice skating with Mrs. B. and our niece. She's 5, and had never been skating, but she's a freaking daredevil! She was going off on her own like it was no big deal by the end of the session. It was a great time, but the blisters on my feet from skating were/are awful.

- Sunday, I was not feeling 100%, but I had a basketball game at 2pm. I made it to the game, and played well to start, but I (and our team) faded down the stretch and lost the game. This is my second basketball league now, and this one involves guys I had never met before Sunday. Hopefully we play better as everyone gets to know each other.

- That night, Mrs. B. and I went to sushi at Mikuni in Fair Oaks, and then spent Valentine's at the Lake Natoma Inn in Folsom. It was nice to get out of the apartment, even though we didn't go that far from home. Worst part, was waking up with this damn sore throat and feeling shitty for the rest of the day.

I know this wasn't funny or witty, but as soon as I feel better I'll make it up to you. Best advice I can give you for the moment: DON'T WATCH THE BACHELOR. That show is horrible. Mrs. B. is indulging in her guilty pleasure right now, and I'm not into this at all. I feel like I've met guys (douches) like this Jake guy, and I have never liked guys like him.

Pitchers and catchers report, my album is done (basically), and Gorillaz and Crowded House are both coming out with new albums next month. Plenty of stuff to get to quite soon...

Friday, February 12, 2010

Oh, John Mayer...

That "Oh" is like a sigh made in disappointment. The once young and promising singer/songwriter has gotten himself into a heap of trouble recently. During an interview with Playboy Magazine he compared his penis to a white supremacist and used the N-word. Oops. He also talked about his sexual exploits with Jessica Simpson (far less interesting, but still worth a mention.)

I have two complaints on this situation. My first is obviously with John Mayer. John, what the hell are you doing? You are a skinny white dude that happens to be a millionaire due to your talent on the six string. You seem to be a decently funny guy, but just because half of your band is African American and you have a couple Black friends, doesn't mean the public is going to give you a pass when you use the N-word in an interview done by a nudie-magazine.

On the contrary, people generally become outraged with someone who thinks they are bigger and better than the rest of society- and by you thinking you can get away with stuff like this, you clearly think that. Does it even matter what context it was used in? Nope. Does it even matter if you actually believe what you were saying? Nope. As a public figure, you should know that there are certain words that should be put in a wooden crate, stored "someplace safe," and studied by "top men." In other words, SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND PLAY YOUR GUITAR. At times, I've definitely found you funny, Mr. Mayer, but as the years fly by, your goofy, ultra-cocky act becomes tired. You're not bigger than the rest of us, stop alienating people and figure your stuff out.

On the flip side, let me take to task the public. We are a confusing bunch. The media allows us to judge and destroy people, only to build them back up like they are our personal soap opera. Celebrities that say all the right things (Kobe before he raped- 'scuse me, was accused of raping someone and Tiger Woods before his sex scandal) are considered extremely boring and uninteresting. Then, as soon as they do something wrong, the media jumps on them like a pack of wild dogs attacking a scrap of meat. We complain about how boring they are, then chastise them for making a mistake that ultimately entertains us. We want to know the inner thoughts of the celebrities with love or hate, but bash them when they actually give a candid interview. It's quite a vicious cycle.

There's almost no way to stop this madness, and on a certain level, maybe this madness helps increase the level of celebrity that various people enjoy. As the media machine turns and people continue eating up celebrity gossip like Kobayashi pounds down hot dogs, we will keep paving the way for regretful tales like this one from John Mayer.

If you're interested, John Mayer apologized during a concert on Wednesday. I have a feeling it was genuine, but then again, he rattled on with regret providing us with just another soundbite to listen to. This makes me think that he is legitimately sorry for what he said, but will not change his long winded, douchey ways for the long haul. Here's the apology:



Can you believe I just wrote a blog about John Mayer using the N-word? Ugh. Me neither. But now that it's done, I'd like to make an apology to anyone who just read my blog today... [tear.]

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Fantasy Baseball Tale

Many years ago, some guys started up a fantasy baseball league called "The Pete Rose Gambling All-Stars." That league was a keeper league that lasted a solid 6 years. We even recruited some guys on message boards to fill out the league with mostly successful results. Except one...

At the inception of the league, a guy named Randy joined and immediately got off on the wrong foot. I named my team "Thuganomics sponsored by Ryne Sandberg" which was obviously a reference to the (at that time) rising star in the WWE, John Cena. Cena's gimmick was (and still is, sort of) that he was a white-rapping wrestler. I took this gimmick and made up raps of my own for the league homepage. My first one was this:

"My rhyme is so tight it'll weaken your knees. Just like your mom last night while she's beggin' me 'Please.' Thuganomics is coming at you and you know that it's standard. That's why we got sponsorship from the Man, Ryne Sandberg. I'm not finished, I'm just getting started. I'm not like other owners who are just plain retarded. The fantasy wit is as sharp as a knife. I'll be back later, til then WORD LIFE..."

It also included this pic:













Randy responded with a story that had one simple goal- to displace my original story:

"Cover Up

Cover up the childish crap
"

Oh no you didn't! Last time I checked, Fantasy Sports are for grown men to compete and talk crap in a fun, sporting environment. Not for a-holes to join a league with people they don't know only to call them immature (thanks for stating the obvious, Einstein) and ruining a perfectly decent juvenile time.

It turns out that Randy was offended by the picture. He did not appreciate having a buff wrestler on the league homepage to remind him of how weak and frail he was. More than likely, he was homophobic and didn't know how to deal with it. I responded with another story:

"Comedy Dies In PRGAS

On February 26, 2003 all sense of humor was drained from the "Pete Rose Gambling All Stars." Of the humor, Randy King was quoted as saying, "Cover up the crap." Immediately, the rest of the league decided to cease and desist every funny comment, jab, or anything else that could even be considered remotely funny. An annoyomous source has said that, "The comedy cannot be held down for too long. This league has too much potential for the absense of a sense of humor." Hopefully, everyone will realize that we are all joking and NOT TAKE THINGS TOO SERIOUS.
"

It came complete with this pic:
















The caption read Randy says "Cover the crap!"

Randy posted another story apologizing (sort of) but ultimately, his days in the our league were numbered. He only played one year, and then quit. We had to find a replacement for him, and we continued on.

Fantasy sports is a time where you should be able to say anything without having others take offense. Enjoy the league, talk some crap, and in the end congratulate the winner (or don't- sometimes a grudge can make the next year even more fun!) Remember that as your fantasy baseball draft comes up.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

LOST: What Kate Does

I have no idea what to expect tonight. In previous seasons, the second episode (I guess this is considered the third episode, but you know what I mean) gives us a breather [read as: not as good] from the rabid pace of the season premiere. I'm hoping this keeps the momentum going- let's get to the action:

- Back at the Temple, we see Lennon walking in a most determined way. "He's alive." These Others don't seem to know exactly what is going on. They're not as confident as we've seen previous Others.
- Sayid has no idea what happened to him. Sawyer is PO'ed about Juliet. I guess I would be mad if my girlfriend was sucked down a tunnel by a pocket of energy, only to blow up a nuke, but survive to be transported to a different time and then die in my arms. Yeah, that would definitely be effed up.
- Sawyer wants out of the Temple- him saying he's going to run to Kate, is like a crack dealer tempting an ex-druggie with... uh... crack.
- In the other timeline, Kate is hijacking the cab with Claire in it. The cabbie bounces like a coward. Now Kate is stealing Claire's belongings and leaving her preggers on the sidewalk. I hate alt. Kate. She seems to care about people as much as Oscar the Grouch cares about hygiene and good living conditions.
- Hurley and Miles are talking hilarious. Miles deems Hugo the "leader" in a sarcastic way. I vote for more Miles. Or maybe a spinoff with Miles and Hurley as the "Odd Couple." They can live in a two bedroom apartment on the beach- cameo by Terry O'Quinn as their cryptic super named "Smokie."
- Jack insists to come with Sayid- now he's asking questions. Jack is just asking what all the viewers want to know. Who the hell are these crazy ass folks? What are they doing?
- Well, Sawyer's gone from the Temple. He was THIS close to redemption, then Juliet dies and he reverts back to "I just don't give a f*** Sawyer."
- Whoa! It's an Aldo sighting- It's Always Sunny At The Temple!
- Kate and Jin are going to try to bring Sawyer back. Even this Kate seems different. Jeez- we've got some tectonic character shifts.
- This mechanic does not care- "Hey murderer, come on in- let me take off your handcuffs and feel free to change in the back."
- I bet you've noticed the different noise going back and forth between the parallel timelines.
- Jack and Kate share a nice moment. DENIED! Jack totally leaned in to kiss her! No dice! That happened to me once... ONCE- and she's dead now. Just kidding, it never happened.
- Sayid is laid on the table and Dogen is getting crazy. I think they believe Sayid is the Smoke Monster (that's my guess at least.)
- Just like Season 1, Sayid is getting electrocuted. First a weird French lady, and now a weird Japanese samurai. Karma is a bitch.
- "I just lied to him, didn't I?" Creepiest line thus far. I have a feeling FakeLocke might have something to say about that. [Editor's note: after watching the whole thing- no FLocke, so Lennon wins the creepiest line contest for the night.]
- Kate is back to pick up Claire. So Claire really is giving her baby up for adoption in the other timeline. Doesn't seem right.
- "I'm sorry, is this a press conference?" Aldo's killin' it tonight!
- Rousseau's (can I just spell her name like Rene Russo- that would be easier) been dead for years? Oh right, even I'm getting timelines confused.
- Now Kate is escaping also? I don't think that is going to be good in the long run. All these characters should be at the Temple for a reason.
- Jack is going to the top- "Hey creepy Asian- WTF is going on?"
- Sayid is infected- hey, maybe we'll get some answers to one of the mysteries.
- Dogen is dropping knowledge- even I believe this fool. He could tell me to eat green beans and I would (and I hate green beans.)
- Miles is the man- he'll be at the food court. Enjoy the Sbarro, my friend. I literally LOL'ed.
- Sayid even knows he didn't pass the test- he and Jack are having a great conversation.
- If Jack won't let him take the pill, someone needs to call up Lawrence Fishburne- I know he'd make Sayid take the pill.
- There's no way Claire should give up her baby to people who didn't show up at the airport. No way- bad parenting decision.
- This lady is cracked out- thank goodness she doesn't want the baby anymore.
- She's about to pop, looks like Kate gets to deliver a baby AGAIN.
- Genius idea Sawyer- run on back to the Barracks- the Others will never look there, you moron.
- His plan does not involve rational thinking at this point- he went back to retrieve something.
- Shaq's gotcha back- uh hmmm... Oh, sorry, no commercials should work their way in here [but that jingle is soooo catchy!]
- Ethan is delivering Claire's baby! Oh snap! Great parallel timeline twist. Wow- she names him Aaron as well! Love it.
- This Ethan would get his ass kicked by the Other Ethan.
- Back in island time, Kate wants to find Claire. She might think twice about that once Claire is actually found.
- "Which time?" Sawyer referring to Kate following him into the jungle over and over. Great point with your Han Solo-esque line.
- Sawyer is emotionally taking responsibility for Juliet dying. No joke here, this is a touching scene.
- Sawyer has an engagement ring! Never got to ask Juliet. I doubt he would have asked in a creative way like gluing Scrabble letters to a board.
- Jack up in the top floor of the Temple with Dogen.
- Jack takes the pill and Dogen freaks out. "Poison." So much for all that "I can't explain what's actually in it" bullshit.
- Claire's in the hospital- don't talk to the cops you rat!
- Way to cover for the convict- don't come out! It's a trap (hopefully not.)
- Kate is innocent? Interesting...
- Pretty touching scene between Kate and Claire. That's twice Kate has been involved in scenes with powerful acting where the other person carried the load.
- Jack [almost] swallowed the poison pill [then Dogen made him cough it back up] and now he wants answers.
- "Sayid has been Claimed." That sounds scary. Can the Monster really have an affect on Sayid in the Temple.
- "It happened to your sister." My.Mind.Is.Blown.
- OOOOH! Bear trap!
- Claire is the new Rousseau. Get after it Jungle-Lady.

I think the episode was a bit slow moving, and suffered from "Episode 2" syndrome, but all in all, it still have some great reveals and was excellent. I'll give it an 8 out of 10 (which is a score that is balanced to LOST standards making it a 108 out of 10 compared to other shows.)

Can't wait for next week... as always.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Super Bowl Fallout

I rather enjoyed watching the Saints win a Super Bowl Championship on Sunday night. The whole scene was cinematic. Drew Brees holding his son while tearing up was a special moment. Peyton Manning walking off the field instead of going over to congratulate Brees was interesting. And watching the Saints owner almost throw the Lombardi Trophy over the stage rail and onto the field was pretty funny (old people need to be careful when they fist pump with a large trophy in their hands.)

But then reality set in. The Saints won the Super Bowl. The New Orleans Saints won the Super Bowl. I can say it again if you like. THE SAINTS WON THE SUPER BOWL.

The Saints were once the lowly NFL team that consistently lost and was a laughing stock of the league. Even when they were good they would lose immediately upon entering the playoffs (12-4 in 1992 only to lose at home in the playoffs against the Eagles after being up 20-7.) There are a few teams that one expects to be terrible forever (or at least without a championship) and the Saints used to be one of those teams. The Arizona Cardinals are another one of those teams, and they almost got their championship last year. How does this relate to me? (Because I'm selfish and think of things in those terms.)

The Chicago Cubs are also considered one of those teams. Even though they do have their back to back championships of 1907 and 1908, let's be honest, the Cubs might as well have won those on Mars 3,000 years ago. No one cares about a championship from that long ago. Honestly, the Pittsburgh Pirates have a rich tradition of winning baseball, but since their last championship was in 1979, and they've been losing since Jim Leyland left their team, most people think of them as a losing franchise as well. "What have you done for me lately" is the most applicable phrase when it comes to sports.

My point is that with the Saints win, the Cubs have one less franchise in the "they'll always be losers club." The Boston Red Sox broke out of that club in 2004, the White Sox broke out of it in 2005. Misery loves company, and I hate seeing teams rise up and leave the Cubs in the dust crying about missed opportunities and begging for better luck.

I suppose I shouldn't be too hard on any of those teams, though. I mean, they're just doing what they're paid to do. Win. There is one simple solution to this whole psychological problem that professional sports is causing me- The Cubs need to win the World Series.

I thought about it the other day, and I don't expect the Cubs to win it this year. But that also got me wondering about when I think it will be. When could the Cubs actually break the fictional "curse" that has bothered them for so long? I have no idea. But this also brought forth the sad thought, "I'm 28, I'm sure they'll win one before I die."

I wonder how many generations of people have thought that before dying...

Damn you Saints! On the positive, you showed the world that it is possible for a traditional loser to rise up and win regardless of past history. But you've also left the "loser" club- it just keeps getting lonelier...

[Let's end on a positive note- Michael Jordan and the Bulls won 6 Championships in the 1990s and it was so awesome.]

Monday, February 8, 2010

A Case of the Mondays: Super Bowl Edition

I highly enjoyed the Super Bowl. The game was very well played. Hardly any penalties, or play reviews, or turnovers. It seemed to sail along like an actual football game, rather than the CF spectacle the Super Bowl turns into. I'm just assuming everyone watched the game, so no need for any kind of recap, but here are some things I noticed:

- The Who were the wrong band for the Super Bowl halftime show. I'm fairly certain the crowd only recognized any of the songs because each song they played happened to be the theme song for CBS shows that contain initials (CSI, NCIS, etc.) Instead of having people on the field to act as the crowd, they opted for a massive light show that only separated the crowd and viewer further from the band (rather than making it more intimate.) The Who is a great band, but this was the absolute wrong venue for their talents. The question is, what current band could pull off a halftime show? Someone decently relevant, but still rocking... Maybe the Foo Fighters? Hell, Prince even played one of their songs during his halftime show a couple years ago. Seems like it would work.

- Phil Sims ruined a great moment for me. At the end of the game, Drew Brees was holding his one year old son in triumphant victory with tears in his eyes. It was a wonderful moment that grounded this grand stage in realism for the viewers at home. Watching Brees hold his son (who was wearing large headphones to block out the noise of the celebration) and kiss him on the cheek was emotional. Then Phil Sims piped up, "There is no greater moment that a father can share with his son." Maybe it's true, but then I started thinking, "Crap- I'm never going to win a Super Bowl and be the MVP, so I'll never get to share the greatest moment a father can share with his son." What an ass. Of course, he person can have their individual great moments with their own kids, and how dare Phil Sims ruin a completely awesome moment by having me over think his moronic statement. Remember when Sims got hurt and Jeff Hostetler took the Giants to the Super Bowl. That was awesome because it showed how much the Giants didn't need Sims.

- The Economic situation in New Orleans is effed. Many people are talking about how this win is "Great for the community of New Orleans." Sure, it provides distraction for a community that has been hit with hard times, but is it really good? I heard Mike Tirico say there will be a "small uptick in the community because of all the partying..." I also heard Drew Brees and Sean Payton joke about how "nothing will get done in the New Orleans for a month [due to the Super Bowl celebration and Mari Gras.]" I'm all for slacking off, but if you do nothing at your job, or leave your job for a month, that cannot be helpful for any business. The Saints may have re-ruined the community because everyone will get so distracted (and drunk) that this will lead to even more economic turmoil. Winning a Super Bowl is great, but it's not a reason to not doing anything for a month! That's just silly!

Congrats Saints- you won a great Super Bowl. Now, we get to see if Mike Martz and Jay Cutler can lead the Bears' offense to the Super Bowl next year... ah crap.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Super Bowl Prediction

I have to be honest, with the premiere of LOST, my men's league basketball team starting up, and the over hyped onslaught of media that the comes with the Super Bowl, I have pretty much turned my brain off to the NFL for the last week and a half. But that stops now- before picking the Super Bowl, I have to take a few things into account:

- Is Peyton Manning clutch or not? This is a tougher question than someone who buys into the recent "Peyton Manning is the greatest ever" media hype might think. He did little more than manage the game to beat the Bears three years ago. While the powers that be gave him the "we can't really give it to anyone else, so it goes to the QB" MVP award, in truth, the MVP of the Colts was probably Rex Grossman (or maybe Dominick Rhodes.) Before then (and since then), Manning has been prone to crushing playoff defeats. Could this be another playoff loss, or will Manning rise to the occasion and cement his name in the discussion for Top 10 QB's of all time (slow down on the greatest ever talk.)

- Will Dwight Freeney play? I'll save you the suspense- No, he will not play. It's a shame, too. He ripped tendons in his ankle while playing in the last 2 minutes of the Colts game against the Jets when they were up 30-17. Why bench your players to not go undefeated if you were just going to let them get injured during meaningless playoff minutes? It doesn't make sense, does it? If Freeney tries to play, he will be less than effective. An injury that serious is not something Freeney can cope with, no matter how much of a savage he thinks he is.

- Exactly how bad did the Saints play against the Vikings? Bad. Real bad. Their balls shrunk up and they did not bring the same kind of open passing attack that we've seen from the Saints this season (see: MNF vs. the Patriots.) The "Who Dat? Nation" (horrible rallying nickname) is lucky that Brett Favre and the Vikings coughed up victory like my cat coughs up a hairball. 12 men in a huddle in the 4th quarter of the NFC Championship game? Really? If the Saints play like that, they will lose.

- How strict will the refs be? The Saints defense has beat the holy shit out of the first two QB's they've faced during the playoffs this year, likely forcing both of them into retirement. Not all of the hits were "legal" per se, but they did what they were intended to do- rattle the QB. My coach used to say, "In times of adversity, we revert back to our natural habits- good or bad." At least, it was something like that. Point being, when trouble strikes, we're likely to do what is natural. Favre found it natural to throw across his body toss the ball to a defender. Will the Saints be allowed to get at Peyton Manning as much as they got to Favre and Warner? Is Manning tough enough to deal with whatever pressure they bring?

Taking all of this into account, I'm expecting a pretty close game. With Dwight Freeney, I think the Colts would win by 7-10. Without him, I'll predict something like this:

Colts 31 - Saints 28

I will be cheering for the Saints, but I don't know if they have enough to get it done. I do love Drew Brees, though, so I hope he can get it done.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Worst Arbitration Numbers Ever

I was thinking about Tim Lincecum's impending arbitration case and I cannot understand what the Giants were thinking. For those unfamiliar, MLB arbitration cases work by the team giving a possible salary number, the player gives their desired salary number, then a judge decides which number is more appropriate. There is no compromise. No average. Once it gets to arbitration, it is an Either/Or situation.

In Tim Lincecum's case, he stands to make the most money ever by a player who is eligible for arbitration, but not yet eligible for free agency. In fact, because he has been so dominant, he actually qualified as a "Super Two" so he goes to arbitration a year earlier than he would have otherwise.

If I'm not mistaken, the current record for a winning arbitration case is $10 million set by Ryan Howard of the Philadelphia Phillies. Tim Lincecum rightfully is asking to break that record by putting his number at $13 million. I mean, he is the back to back Cy Young Award winner in the National League. Without doing any research at all, I'm confident in saying that these seasons have to be the most dominant first two full seasons by a pitcher in history (someone please comment if there is another pitcher who is on par with Lincecum, ever.) The point is, he's an absolute savage and deserves his $13 million. And the biggest reason for that is...

That the Giants offer is at $8 million! WHAT?! You must be kidding me. Business-wise, you can't offer less than the record for someone who has been recognized as the best pitcher in the National League two years in a row. They might be able to actually win the case had they offered $10 million- thus saving $3 million. If a judge has to choose between $13 million and $8 million, it's a no brainer- $13 million is the only option. $8 million is simply too low.

Now the Giants have put themselves in a bad situation. We're talking Jack Bauer undercover in a terrorist cell bad. They are going to lose the arbitration case. While there is still a possibility they could settle with Lincecum before the arbitration case is held, they are in a bad position. Lincecum has all the leverage. He and his agent have to know they are in control here. If I were them, there's no way I'm settling for less than $11 million. $2 million less than $13 million might be worth it eliminate all risk of losing the case and having to settle for $8 million, but anything less than that, and I'll take my chances- and most likely, I'll be $5 million richer than what the Giants believe I deserve.

Sidenote- are the Giants really paying Barry Zito $17 million a year, and they are really going to lowball the face of their franchise with an $8 million offer. What a slap in the face. I guarantee the spike in attendance during Lincecum's starts makes more than enough to make up the difference of $5 million.

I typically think Brian Sabean is a good General Manager, but the more I hear him speak on the radio, and the more I see some of his moves, the less I believe that he is the guy to lead the Giants back to being a competitive playoff team. Bay Area (and NorCal) sports teams are in such disarray these days and much of it has to do with bad decision making in the front offices. I thought the Giants were on the right path, but with simple mistakes like this one, it seems obvious that they are not ready to be respectable once again- much like the other teams in the area.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

LOST - LA X

Let the Final Season of LOST begin! I'm typing this with trepidation because I feel a bit rusty at this live blogging stuff. Hopefully it will be like riding a bike, but hopefully this is still relatively entertaining in the end. Here goes nothing:

- First prediction: Jacob turns into a "blue glowy thing" from Star Wars.
- Alright, starting exactly from the end of the last season with a white screen- now we see Jack on Oceanic 815... except Cindy the flight attendant only gives him one extra bottle of mini booze. I hate this alternate timeline already!
- What kind of shoddy overhead bins allow a bag to fall from above! Ridiculous.
- Rose is comforting Jack instead of the other way around... success #1- Rose and Bernard aren't separated!
- Jack goes to the bathroom only to stare into the mirror. That is one hell of a wound on his neck. Jeez.
- Desmond is on the plane! What the hell. I guess he really isn't pushing the button on the island. "See ya in another life" is really taking on a new meaning.
- What do we find with a deep sea camera expetition- The Titanic, Dhamaville and the Four Toed Statue. W.T.F.
- LOST is living up to it's mindf*** billing has now placed us back to 1977, with Juliet- oh wait, what the hell- Kate is on top of a tree. That just doesn't seem possible.
- Dude, Kate, you shouldn't have been so close to the speakers at the Danzig concert!
- Sound is back to normal. Thank Christ.
- Miles is alive, and Kate judo chops him.
- Kate has found her and Miles and Jack and they are back in "not 1977."
- Sawyer kicked Jack in the face. IN THE FACE!
- Jack is finding himself in the same predicament as Locke did at the beginning of Season 3.
- Ok, back to the alternate 815 flight. Sawyer, Kate, Hurley, and even Artz are making appearances. Hurley owns Mr. Cluck's Chicken. "Nothing bad ever happens" to Hurley. Uhh... this is getting weird- and hard to keep up.
- Back to the regular Swan site, Sawyer's throwing down a massive guilt trip- holy shitballs! Juliet is still alive. And so is Sayid- barely.
- Sayid is preparing to die- somebody is going to have to help him.
- Hurley is doing the worst Han Solo performance of all time. And now Jacob is around. I'm betting only Hurley can see him. Not a "blue glowy thing." Damn, my one prediction is wrong.
- Sun and Jin on alt. flight 815- this is hard to keep up with- if I die from the head flash sickness, tell Mrs. B. I love her.
- Shannon is not even on the flight- confirmed by Boone. Locke was able to go on the Walkabout. This is blowing my mind.
- Here we go. FLocke and Ben after killing Jacob. Ben seems to be feeling a bit guilty. What a little weasel.
- Uh oh. FLocke wants a piece of the ageless, eyeliner man Riccardus.
- Lapidus and Sun are trying to figure out what the hell is going.
- Richard shows Ben the bad news. Ben done f***ed up.
- Trying to dig up Juliet from the Swan site. I'm glad they're trying to save the white girl, but by the way, there's an Iraqi savage dying up at the top of the crater.
- Jacob orders Hurley to bring Sayid to the Temple. Hopefully we'll find out what is in that damn guitar case soon enough.
- Hurley is funny. That's all I have to say on that one.
- Sawyer is planning to kill Jack- I'm going to bet that won't happen.
- Back in alt. time- Jack is going to help Charlie who is apparently ODing on some black tar heroin (haha- I don't actually know what kind of heroin he was using, I just heard about that kind previously- it could also be China White!)
- Sayid helping Jack out to save Charlie.
- Charlie was trying to swallow heroin. Excellent try my fellow musician.
- Back in regular time, Sawyer finds Juliet. She is in worse shape than Lindsey Lohan's regular Saturday night out.
- Juliet says she hit the bomb. But why are they still there? I love and hate this mindbending stuff.
- Hurley, I apologize, that was a much better hero speech.
- Richard is asking Ben what happened. Bram is deciding to be a hero and he brought Ben with him inside the statue.
- Bram went Dolph Lundgrin on FLocke, and I have a feeling that that was a bad move... oh snap. It's the Monster.
- Wow, the ash really keeps the Smoke Monster at bay. Too bad, Bram is now outside the ring and getting his head smacked around.
- FLocke admits he is the Monster. Mystery #1516 solved.
- Juliet is alive, but seems to be going crazy. She's probably going to die.
- Who wants to bet Juliet died "with child." Sawyer is going to kick Jack's ass.
- Back in alt. time, Charlie says he was "supposed to die."
- Now where is Desmond? Hmm...
- Matt Parkman from Heroes is piloting the plane- hopefully he's not trying to sabotage the competition by landing the plane.
- It's interesting that the plane didn't crash, but how does that affect the overall storyline? I suppose we'll have to wait and find out.
- Jack and Locke are the last two off the plane. They both feel like they had a greater destiny.
- It's now day time, and Sayid looks to be alive- I guess.
- Miles is hanging back with Sawyer to bury Juliet. Miles can talk to dead people- Coincidence, I think not.
- Back to alt. time- we're in the terminal and Jack is called to the courtesy phone. "Your destiny is calling you..."
- Oops, Jack's dad's casket ain't on the plane.
- Now, we're going into the Temple. It is literally unreal that Sayid is still alive.
- Good thing none of these people know what they hell they are doing. I hope I'm never dying on the island and need them to help me.
- Oh, of course, it's the Others- or some others at least.
- Oh great, another Temple. Yikes.
- Kate is now with the Marshall in alt. time. I liked him better when he was coughing up blood after Sawyer shot him.
- Kate stole Jack's pen and she's picking the lock with it.
- Awesome, Kate's on the run again. And Sawyer is going to help her out- probably.
- Sawyer still has the smooth moves- he helps Kate escape.
- Sawyer knows Miles' power- he's going to do some dead people talking.
- "It worked." Thanks for being as vague as possible LOST.
- Creepy Asian guy alert. Hey, Cindy is around. That's weird.
- Hurley went with "Jacob sent us."
- Open that case Hurley- DO IT!
- Ooooh- an Ankh. With a message in it.
- Looks like Sayid is getting the help he needs.
- New mystery- "What's on the paper?" Great. I thought we were getting more answers rather than more questions! Such is LOST.
- Back in alt. time- Jin is getting detained. C'mon Sun, tell them that you understand English. Oh, you bad minx! Still denying it!
- Wow- the Fountain of Youth- AKA Richards bathtub.
- This Asian guy is freaking me out.
- Risks? Jack doesn't care- he's damn near a Man of Faith at this point. Throw Sayid in the magical bathtub.
- Of course they need an hourglass.
- And, of course, they can't tell the newbies to the Temple to just chill out.
- Love the "Jesus Pose" Sayid. Someone make an action figure of that.
- Sayid is not dead. I disagree. Jack has the magic touch on this. I've seen him use it on Charlie.
- Back in alt. time- baggage claim and Kate is running. Awesome.
- The Asian lady in the Authorized area looked like Cindy Kim from Harold and Kumar.
- Ha! Frogurt sighting- what a douche.
- The Marshall spots Kate- and she's in Claire's cab! Nice twist LOST writers!
- Hey! It's a Zack and Emma sighting.
- Asian guy doing some Zen Gardening. Easy there Mr. Belding.
- Hurley is going to have to break some bad news to Temple-folk. Oh, I love that they are breaking out the volcanic ash.
- Back to FLocke and Ben. They could do a spin-off like the "Odd Couple" of these two.
- The last thought of John Locke was "I don't understand." Yes, it was a sad thing.
- The Monster wants to "go home?" Finds some ruby red slippers, Dorothy, and click those bitches three times!
- Miles knows that Sayid isn't dead- I can see it in his eyes.
- The Others are protecting the 815ers now. Weird, eh?
- Uh oh, Sawyer is thinking about killing Jack. Or not, I guess. Thanks for playing with us LOST.
- Back in alt. time, Jack is breaking bad news about his father's casket being LOST. Locke had a bag LOST as well, bringing Locke and Jack together in alt. time.
- Jack asks Locke about his wheelchair situation- Jack offers to help Locke out with a free consult.
- Back to Richard and the Others on the beach. FLocke kung-fu's Richard's ass!
- Richard must be of more importance than we even thought. That's why he's getting thrown over FLocke's shoulder like he's a rag doll.
- Sayid is back alive- I like it.

So that's it. If you ask me, that was an awesome Season 6 premiere. I can't wait to see where these storylines go. Until next week...

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Groundhog Day

Stop me if you've heard this one before... a team hires an offensive coordinator thinking that he can turn said offense into a powerhouse that scores zillions of points. At the same time, that team's head coach is on the hot seat, so many people think that the offensive coordinator that was just hired has ulterior motives for taking the job (i.e. he believes he will supplant the head coach upon the head coach's firing.) Oh, it does sound familiar, you say? Yes, it does- and that's because Mike Martz was hired under the same circumstances in San Francisco as he was just hired under in Chicago yesterday.

Am I disappointed? Yes. I do think there is a high probability that this will end in disaster. Jay Cutler needs to learn more discipline with the football, not have a monkey with a crazy smile and banging cymbals yelling at him to "throw the ball deep!" In that sense, I am very worried about the Bears.

Is there possible success? Yes. Martz would not be my first choice as coordinator, but he's also not last on the list. As long as he doesn't try to sign J.T. O'Sullivan to replace Cutler as the starting QB, there is still a possibility that Martz's crazy schemes work and the Bears' offense starts producing points at a rapid rate. The definitely need an improved offensive line and they also need to not forget about Matt Forte (or whoever is running the ball- they need an improved running game is my overall point.) I don't trust Martz to do that, but I'm going to reserve my judgment and see what the mad scientist has up his sleeve.

The biggest issue I have is that the Bears' offense was actually not that bad late in the season. They seemed to have gelled to some degree and beat Brett Favre in what will hopefully be his last trip to Soldier Field.

The defense is probably more of the issue- which should be helped by the return of field general Brian Urlacher. I'm more concerned about who they will hire as defensive coordinator (and I can't help wondering why they ever fired Ron Rivera after they went to the Super Bowl?!?!?!?)

So stop me if you've heard this all before. I've seen this franchise run itself in circles since firing Mike Dikta as coach in 1992. True, they accidentally got to the Super Bowl on the back of Devin Hester and a good defense, but they have no idea who they are or what they want to be. I have a feeling Lovie Smith's monotone message has grown stale, and he will eventually be fired. That said, I hope to the heavens above that Mike Martz doesn't replace him.

Monday, February 1, 2010

A Case of the Mondays

Honestly, none of you want to hear about my weekend. No shows. Didn't watch any movies. We know there were great sporting events on TV. I mean, what is there to write about? Hmm... let me see if I have anything I can come up with that will be remotely of interest:

- As a musician, you'd probably think I watched the Grammys and hope to one day receive one. Well, that is not true. While I obviously would accept if offered, I would never measure my success as a musician on whether or not I received a Grammy award. There are too many phenomenal musicians that are overlooked year after year by the Grammys to take the award show completely seriously. The Grammys are a Pop Culture award, for the most part, and the award show plays the part (and is boring.) I watched two things, the overdone performance of "21 Guns" by Green Day and a cast of thousands. Apparently having Green Day perform the song by themselves was not big enough for the Grammys, so a bunch of other singers participated. It was very boring.

The second was a naked Pink doing a high wire gymnastics act while drenched in some liquid (I'm not even going to guess what it was.) While her outfit would have looked nice on many other women, Pink just grosses me out. I've never found her attractive, and it definitely affected my perception of this performance.

I don't know who won any of the awards, I'll probably read about that later. I wish they could find a way to make it more interesting. I watched a large portion of the Pro Bowl, which obviously should not be more interesting than re-runs of Seinfeld, let alone the Grammys.

- Speaking of the Pro Bowl... the NFC sucks. How in the world do you lose to an "all-star" team of quarterbacks like Matt Schaub, Vince Young and David Garrad? You give Tony Romo the reigns- that's how. This game deserves no more virtual ink, it was boring, and I'd like to reiterate my hate for Chris Berman. He ruins everything he's involved with.

- LOST is coming back on Tuesday, so you can expect a Wednesday live blog of the 2 hour season premier. That's going to be a late night for me, as we're starting another Men's Basketball League that same night, but that's what I do- I'm a giver.

Yeah, I'm aware that this weekend was pretty boring, but at least we have the Super Bowl coming up this weekend, and Pitchers and Catchers Report the following week! Can't wait to see how the Cubs are going to rip my heart out this year...