Wednesday, February 3, 2010

LOST - LA X

Let the Final Season of LOST begin! I'm typing this with trepidation because I feel a bit rusty at this live blogging stuff. Hopefully it will be like riding a bike, but hopefully this is still relatively entertaining in the end. Here goes nothing:

- First prediction: Jacob turns into a "blue glowy thing" from Star Wars.
- Alright, starting exactly from the end of the last season with a white screen- now we see Jack on Oceanic 815... except Cindy the flight attendant only gives him one extra bottle of mini booze. I hate this alternate timeline already!
- What kind of shoddy overhead bins allow a bag to fall from above! Ridiculous.
- Rose is comforting Jack instead of the other way around... success #1- Rose and Bernard aren't separated!
- Jack goes to the bathroom only to stare into the mirror. That is one hell of a wound on his neck. Jeez.
- Desmond is on the plane! What the hell. I guess he really isn't pushing the button on the island. "See ya in another life" is really taking on a new meaning.
- What do we find with a deep sea camera expetition- The Titanic, Dhamaville and the Four Toed Statue. W.T.F.
- LOST is living up to it's mindf*** billing has now placed us back to 1977, with Juliet- oh wait, what the hell- Kate is on top of a tree. That just doesn't seem possible.
- Dude, Kate, you shouldn't have been so close to the speakers at the Danzig concert!
- Sound is back to normal. Thank Christ.
- Miles is alive, and Kate judo chops him.
- Kate has found her and Miles and Jack and they are back in "not 1977."
- Sawyer kicked Jack in the face. IN THE FACE!
- Jack is finding himself in the same predicament as Locke did at the beginning of Season 3.
- Ok, back to the alternate 815 flight. Sawyer, Kate, Hurley, and even Artz are making appearances. Hurley owns Mr. Cluck's Chicken. "Nothing bad ever happens" to Hurley. Uhh... this is getting weird- and hard to keep up.
- Back to the regular Swan site, Sawyer's throwing down a massive guilt trip- holy shitballs! Juliet is still alive. And so is Sayid- barely.
- Sayid is preparing to die- somebody is going to have to help him.
- Hurley is doing the worst Han Solo performance of all time. And now Jacob is around. I'm betting only Hurley can see him. Not a "blue glowy thing." Damn, my one prediction is wrong.
- Sun and Jin on alt. flight 815- this is hard to keep up with- if I die from the head flash sickness, tell Mrs. B. I love her.
- Shannon is not even on the flight- confirmed by Boone. Locke was able to go on the Walkabout. This is blowing my mind.
- Here we go. FLocke and Ben after killing Jacob. Ben seems to be feeling a bit guilty. What a little weasel.
- Uh oh. FLocke wants a piece of the ageless, eyeliner man Riccardus.
- Lapidus and Sun are trying to figure out what the hell is going.
- Richard shows Ben the bad news. Ben done f***ed up.
- Trying to dig up Juliet from the Swan site. I'm glad they're trying to save the white girl, but by the way, there's an Iraqi savage dying up at the top of the crater.
- Jacob orders Hurley to bring Sayid to the Temple. Hopefully we'll find out what is in that damn guitar case soon enough.
- Hurley is funny. That's all I have to say on that one.
- Sawyer is planning to kill Jack- I'm going to bet that won't happen.
- Back in alt. time- Jack is going to help Charlie who is apparently ODing on some black tar heroin (haha- I don't actually know what kind of heroin he was using, I just heard about that kind previously- it could also be China White!)
- Sayid helping Jack out to save Charlie.
- Charlie was trying to swallow heroin. Excellent try my fellow musician.
- Back in regular time, Sawyer finds Juliet. She is in worse shape than Lindsey Lohan's regular Saturday night out.
- Juliet says she hit the bomb. But why are they still there? I love and hate this mindbending stuff.
- Hurley, I apologize, that was a much better hero speech.
- Richard is asking Ben what happened. Bram is deciding to be a hero and he brought Ben with him inside the statue.
- Bram went Dolph Lundgrin on FLocke, and I have a feeling that that was a bad move... oh snap. It's the Monster.
- Wow, the ash really keeps the Smoke Monster at bay. Too bad, Bram is now outside the ring and getting his head smacked around.
- FLocke admits he is the Monster. Mystery #1516 solved.
- Juliet is alive, but seems to be going crazy. She's probably going to die.
- Who wants to bet Juliet died "with child." Sawyer is going to kick Jack's ass.
- Back in alt. time, Charlie says he was "supposed to die."
- Now where is Desmond? Hmm...
- Matt Parkman from Heroes is piloting the plane- hopefully he's not trying to sabotage the competition by landing the plane.
- It's interesting that the plane didn't crash, but how does that affect the overall storyline? I suppose we'll have to wait and find out.
- Jack and Locke are the last two off the plane. They both feel like they had a greater destiny.
- It's now day time, and Sayid looks to be alive- I guess.
- Miles is hanging back with Sawyer to bury Juliet. Miles can talk to dead people- Coincidence, I think not.
- Back to alt. time- we're in the terminal and Jack is called to the courtesy phone. "Your destiny is calling you..."
- Oops, Jack's dad's casket ain't on the plane.
- Now, we're going into the Temple. It is literally unreal that Sayid is still alive.
- Good thing none of these people know what they hell they are doing. I hope I'm never dying on the island and need them to help me.
- Oh, of course, it's the Others- or some others at least.
- Oh great, another Temple. Yikes.
- Kate is now with the Marshall in alt. time. I liked him better when he was coughing up blood after Sawyer shot him.
- Kate stole Jack's pen and she's picking the lock with it.
- Awesome, Kate's on the run again. And Sawyer is going to help her out- probably.
- Sawyer still has the smooth moves- he helps Kate escape.
- Sawyer knows Miles' power- he's going to do some dead people talking.
- "It worked." Thanks for being as vague as possible LOST.
- Creepy Asian guy alert. Hey, Cindy is around. That's weird.
- Hurley went with "Jacob sent us."
- Open that case Hurley- DO IT!
- Ooooh- an Ankh. With a message in it.
- Looks like Sayid is getting the help he needs.
- New mystery- "What's on the paper?" Great. I thought we were getting more answers rather than more questions! Such is LOST.
- Back in alt. time- Jin is getting detained. C'mon Sun, tell them that you understand English. Oh, you bad minx! Still denying it!
- Wow- the Fountain of Youth- AKA Richards bathtub.
- This Asian guy is freaking me out.
- Risks? Jack doesn't care- he's damn near a Man of Faith at this point. Throw Sayid in the magical bathtub.
- Of course they need an hourglass.
- And, of course, they can't tell the newbies to the Temple to just chill out.
- Love the "Jesus Pose" Sayid. Someone make an action figure of that.
- Sayid is not dead. I disagree. Jack has the magic touch on this. I've seen him use it on Charlie.
- Back in alt. time- baggage claim and Kate is running. Awesome.
- The Asian lady in the Authorized area looked like Cindy Kim from Harold and Kumar.
- Ha! Frogurt sighting- what a douche.
- The Marshall spots Kate- and she's in Claire's cab! Nice twist LOST writers!
- Hey! It's a Zack and Emma sighting.
- Asian guy doing some Zen Gardening. Easy there Mr. Belding.
- Hurley is going to have to break some bad news to Temple-folk. Oh, I love that they are breaking out the volcanic ash.
- Back to FLocke and Ben. They could do a spin-off like the "Odd Couple" of these two.
- The last thought of John Locke was "I don't understand." Yes, it was a sad thing.
- The Monster wants to "go home?" Finds some ruby red slippers, Dorothy, and click those bitches three times!
- Miles knows that Sayid isn't dead- I can see it in his eyes.
- The Others are protecting the 815ers now. Weird, eh?
- Uh oh, Sawyer is thinking about killing Jack. Or not, I guess. Thanks for playing with us LOST.
- Back in alt. time, Jack is breaking bad news about his father's casket being LOST. Locke had a bag LOST as well, bringing Locke and Jack together in alt. time.
- Jack asks Locke about his wheelchair situation- Jack offers to help Locke out with a free consult.
- Back to Richard and the Others on the beach. FLocke kung-fu's Richard's ass!
- Richard must be of more importance than we even thought. That's why he's getting thrown over FLocke's shoulder like he's a rag doll.
- Sayid is back alive- I like it.

So that's it. If you ask me, that was an awesome Season 6 premiere. I can't wait to see where these storylines go. Until next week...

5 comments:

GMoney said...

Dammit, I hate these posts.

Tony B. said...

Sorry, G$- take a day off on Wednesday commenting for awhile. Maybe I can make an alternate post about how much the Redskins sucked this past year to fire you up in addition to the LOST posts.

Rae said...

I LOVE THESE POSTS!

You are so clever. I love all the allusions to other LOST refs :)

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