Wednesday, March 17, 2010

LOST: Recon

It looks like Sawyer is returning after his hiatus of a couple weeks. I hope he does something important, or at least takes a swing at Jack to make things interesting. Let's do this:

- Sawyer is camping out at what looks to be Claire's place.
- Sawyer is with Locke, but he makes a promise to Jin to not leave with Sun. That should be pretty easy to go back on later, eh James?
- Kate uses her trademark "Hey" to start the Sawyer seduction all over.
- Sideways: Sawyer is pulling his old con on the chick from "She's All That." Shouldn't she be making out with Matthew Lillard instead?
- She pulls a gun on him and calls him out. Wow- is Sawyer really a cop in this land? Or is he conning? Yep, he is. And "LeFleur" is the secret word.
- I am loving that Miles is Sawyer's partner. They should just start up a spin off of Miles and Sawyer cop show. The sad thing is, it probably would have a consistent 15 million viewers.
- Claire vs. Kate - This could be the Cal vs. Stanford rivalry to Jack and Sawyer's UNC vs. Duke.
- Claire is making sure Squirrel Baby is still in tact. Don't worry Claire, your baby is made of sticks and bones.
- FLocke gives a pep talk to his flock. He's a regular William Wallace.
- Kate asks Sawyer if he's with Locke- his response- he's not with anybody.
- LA X World- Sawyer is working real hard to find Anthony Cooper. I wonder why... did Cooper still con his mother causing Sawyer's life problems.
- Miles has set James up with a girl. Miles knows Sawyer is lying about Locke's pops.
- FLocke is leading folks, and Sawyer is calling him out about when they are gonna get off the island. Private talk time.
- Locke admits to being the Smoke Monster. He wants Sawyer to go to Hydra island and look at the Aijira flight. Is Locke's plan really to just jump in the plane and leave? I know he can float around as smoke, but does he really know how to pilot a commercial Boeing? Doubtful.
- Sawyer is at what looks to be a high school reunion. Well hello Charlotte Staples Lewis.
- She's still an archeologist. She's exactly like Indiana Jones? No time for love, Dr. Jones!
- Sawyer was either going to be a criminal or a cop, and he choose cop. And now he's getting on with the dirty red-head. Snap!
- He's reading Watership Down. That's pretty cool.
- Charlotte found the Sawyer binder. Looks like Mr. Cooper was still up to old tricks. And Sawyer kicks the red-head out. Well, that's one way to keep thing casual.
- Island Sawyer is back by his old cage. He's looking around and things look empty. Yet, he does find Kate's dress and remember getting it on in the cage with her. This guy easily gets the most action on this show.
- Sayid is looking more and more evil. Now Claire has a knife to Kate's throat. Luckily FLocke picks her up and smacks the taste out of her mouth. Damn Ike! Leave Tina alone! (This would work with Bobby and Whitney as well.)
- Sawyer found the Aijira flight. The plane is still in decent condition. How they hell did it crash anyway? Magical forces? Black smoke? Force field?
- Is there anyone left? Well, besides all the dead bodies.
- Who is this lady in the glasses? "I'm the only one left." Riiight. Seems fishy to me. Sawyer should probably just seduce her and murder her at this point.
- Liam Pace is at the courthouse looking for Charlie- to bad, so sad.
- Miles is pissed about the Charlotte debacle. Oops, wait, he's mad about Australia.
- Miles just broke up with Sawyer- not partners anymore. Sawyer punches out a mirror. There is some serious symbolism there. Each sideways flash has had a mirror involved.
- Zoey seems lame. I'm getting over this episode real quick.
- Kate is crying, and here comes FLocke to spew more evil venom. He's like Wormtongue from Lord of the Rings.
- Kate is showing some serious stones in this conversation with FLocke. I like how Kate doesn't take FLocke's hand.
- What's this? ANOTHER group of folks on the island? I suppose these are the Widmore sub crew, right?
- FLocke likes to have deep conversations with pseudo-answers. He is talking about his crazy mother. If this dude's real name ends up being Esau, then that would make a lot of sense (Jacob and Esau are brothers in the Bible.)
- Sawyer is going into the Submarine. Hopefully Widmore is hosting a dance party down there. What song would play? "Return of the Mack" for sure.
- Sawyer is back in the Sideways world watching Little House On The Prairie. It's talking about how people the people who die are really gone.
- He tries to win Charlotte back with his little sunflower move. Denied.
- Well, at least he's allowed to go into the creepy sub.
- That's a lot of LOCKS on the door.
- Widmore is creepy and playing mind games. These two are conning each other big time. I literally have no idea who to trust on this show.
- Safe passage back off the island? I doubt Widmore is ever going to live up to that bargain.
- Claire apologizes. But she is bat-shit crazy. Take a shower hippie!
- Sawyer reports back to MIB all the info about Widmore. More importantly, Widmore has sonic pylons? Awesome.
- James admits the whole "Sawyer" thing to Miles. Like Borat would say, "You're boring!"
- Honestly, this might be the worst episode of the season. Go on, advance the plot and let's get this over with.
- Kate crashes into Sawyer's car. Fate is a cruel mistress.
- Kate is eating rabbit? I wonder if that's good.
- Sawyer is pretty much setting up the battleground and he wants to jack the submarine.

Worst episode of the season. Holy boring BS, Batman! At least the preview for next week look awesome.

I will not be going back to proof-read or add in anything witty. This episode doesn't deserve it.

EXTRA THOUGHTS - After giving the episode another look, and some more thought, I'll give it slightly better marks than "terrible." It was a set up episode, and while it was not even close to the most entertaining of LOST episodes, I don't exactly know how I would change it to make it better.

How about this for a quick theory:

The Smoke Monster/MIB/Locke is afraid of and can be harmed by fire. Evidence?

- In "Dead Is Dead" when Ben goes into the Temple to be judged, he is carrying a torch. The torch is blown out before the Smoke Monster approaches him. Not enough?

- The Smoke Monster has a strong aversion to ash. Still not enough?

- Widmore's freighter folk were there to "torch the island." Last night when talking to Sawyer, Widmore stated, "It's sad how little you know" when Sawyer says the freighter folks were there to kill everyone on the island. They were probably there to burn up the island, thereby killing Smokie. Need even more?

- Ilana's group found the cabin that hadn't been used by Jacob for a long time. Once determining that MIB had probably been using it, they set the cabin on fire. Frank is wondering why no one is worried about the fire from the cabin burning up the entire jungle. Maybe Ilana's crew really didn't care because all the ash would create a safezone or just kill MIB outright. One last one?

- Smokie kicks Jacob into fire with a sense of satisfaction that feels like revenge. Maybe Smokie's form is a result of him getting "burned" by Jacob.

There's probably more evidence, but this is what I have off the top of my head. This has been Tony's quick LOST theory of the week.


GMoney said...

I have obviously never watched this show, but I can't take anything seriously that involves a "smoke monster". That is just dumb. Was the Oxygen Troll not available for casting that day?

Tony B. said...

You mean you didn't know about the Oxygen Troll appearing next week? It's going to be good times for all people on the island.

Rae said...

1. per our previous conversation about hot chicks on LOST, Charlotte is also hotter than Kate.


3. This episode was way better than you made it out to be. I actually legitimately love the LA X stories.

4. I did not get to see next week's episode teaser cos I watched it on hulu. But I am stoked for the 106 minute episode :)

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