I was going to do something far more fun and light-hearted today, but unfortunately the Cubs went and crapped out a horrible opening day game against the much improved Atlanta Braves. The Braves impressed me and it looks like Atlanta fans will have a lot to cheer about this year. Jason Heyward is L-E-G-I-T. Not that I didn't think he was before, but his first at bat home run was RIDICULOUS. But let's get back to the Cubbies...
Carlos Zambrano is such an ass. I am so sick of this guy. True, he's been good in the past, but has he ever done anything of such merit that I, as a Cub fan, should give him a free pass on such a horrific outing? No. He has not. I've seen him get lit up on opening day a few times before. I've seen him say he's ready to retire after his current contract is up. Hell, I've even seen him deny my younger brother an autograph during an event where fans were allowed on the field at Wrigley (this was before he was even a starter.) I've seen him throw temper tantrums over and over and over, and I'm sick of it. Today he looked like he didn't give a shit. Can I get somewhere in the middle? One extreme has him not caring, and the other extreme has him breaking open a Gatorade machine with a bat. Average the two out, and let's rock and roll.
(I'm beyond mad that he's on my fantasy team- thank you for wrecking my week, asshole.)
Jeff Samardzija is absolutely horrible. I'm sure the Cubs wanted him to be good. They thought, "Hey! We can probably sell tickets to Notre Dame fans if we get this guy." And sickeningly, they are probably right. However, after one outing his ERA is 108.00. So Samardzija is either a huge fan of the LOST magical number of 108, or he's a God-awful pitcher. Maybe both?
Soriano sucks. Good luck breaking the strikeout record this year, buddy. You are Pedro Cerrano incarnate. And I don't mean that you hit game tying home runs against the Yankees.
By the way, UMPIRES, I have a HUGE problem with you blowing the call where Nate McLouth dropped the diving catch in center. Instead you called an out and a double play. When a request for instant replay comes up, I'll remember that play and realize that you obviously aren't trying to actually watch a damn game (or maybe you just legitimately need instant replay.) Either way, it was a terrible call, and you all can burn in hell. I can't believe Sweet Lou didn't pitch a fit worthy of him getting tossed. Unacceptable Lou!
I have to stop now. My blood is boiling and it's only day one of baseball season. Yikes, I'm probably going to need therapy after this season.