Wednesday, May 12, 2010

LOST: Across The Sea

I'll be honest, this episode should be awesome. I'm fully aware that there will be few or no series regulars in this episode (it's a flashback of Jacob and the Man In Black's history.) Hopefully this illuminates many of the island's mysteries. I can't wait any longer!

- It starts with debris in the ocean. A woman finds a piece of floating wood and washes ashore on the island. She's with child, in red, and still very bone-able. Ha!
- She's struggling and finds a stream of water. She sees Allison Janey in the water- what is she doing away from the "West Wing?" Oh, right. That series is over also.
- The woman in red is named Claudia. Magically, Allison Janey and Claudia start magically talking in English (after speaking in Latin.)
- Allison says, "Every question I answer will simply lead to another question." How true that is for the viewers of the Godforsaken and awesome show.
- Lady in red... is birthing a child. (Sung to the tune of the famed song by Chris DeBurgh.)
- His name is Jacob... and now here comes another one... Baby In Black?
- She only picked one name? How uncreative of you, Claudia.
- Allison Janey just killed Claudia! With a rock to the dome! She's stealing babies and dropping bombs!
- Back to the beach, there's a weird thing in the sand. It looks like it is a game with black and white stones. The two boys are going to play, but they can't tell their mom (Allison Janey.)
- I guess child theft goes way back on this island.
- Allison guilts Jacob into telling her what they were doing on the beach. Now she's out talking to Boy In Black. She calls him "Special" and tells him he'll never have to worry about dying.
- Now the boys are chasing a boar, but some hunters take it down. Who the hell are these guys? They look like Tom Cruise from the "Last Samurai."
- "We are here for a reason." Start 'splaining! Of course she dodges the question, blind folds them, and recites the same speech that the MIB tells Jacob on the beach. Little Zac Efron is curious!
- She's made it so they can never hurt each other. Then she takes them to the Golden Shower Cave which seems to be awfully important.
- One of them will have to protect the light. Is that why MIB has been called a security system? Interesting...
- Now they are playing the game... Jacob is making up rules... and now MIB is seeing the ghost of his biological mom. Weird.
- MIB can see dead people? Even more interesting. She wants him to follow her across the island.
- She shows him a civilization on the beach. She tells him that he is from across the sea as well. Oh, and mentions the small little detail that she's his mother.
- The boys bounce in the night. Boy In Black explains to Jacob that Allison is not her mother. Jacob responds by giving him a "Christmas Story" style beating.
- Boy In Black wants to leave the island. It seems like his only goal. I don't know what to make of this just yet, but it seems like this goal has continued through the entire show.
- Jacob and his "mom" are on the beach. She tells him the truth that he killed their mother. Jacob questions why she loves his twin more than him. She dodges the question again by saying she loves them in different ways. She's right at home on this island.
- Jacob stays with Allison and learns the fine art of looming.
- Jacob senses unrest in his mother. I mean, I guess that makes sense.
- Jacob goes to visit MIB and they play the rock game. MIB doesn't like the other people, but they are a means to an end- he wants off, and the magnetic well proves it!
- They dig at all the magnetic spots on the island- and I guess they found something... the Donkey Wheel?
- Allison is spooked at the news that MIB is leaving the island. She means to stop him.
- It looks like they are down in the Orchid well. Allison is confronting MIB.
- MIB is lashing out at his mother- and now he's going to continue working on building the Donkey Wheel.
- I think she's going to curse him... she's hugging him now... she's like she's cursing him into the Smoke Monster... or just slamming his head against the bricks. That works too, I guess. Allison Janey is playing one crazy broad. Who the hell is going to install the Donkey Wheel? Someone call maintenance!
- Jacob is catching up on beauty rest, but his "mother" wakes him. Now they are going back to the cave with the life. The source, heart of the island. Could you be any more vague?
- She makes him promise to not go down there. It would be worse than dying. Now she's pouring him a drink from metaphorical wine.
- He doesn't really have a choice? You always have a choice. Well, he's drinking it now. Now they are the same? This lady makes no damn sense! I guess Jacob becomes the island's protector right then and there.
- MIB is still alive and out of the well. He sees smoke and runs toward it. The camp is burned down and everyone seems to be dead. MIB is freaking out, though I'm fairly certain anger isn't going to make him turn into smoke.
- Now Jacob and mother are walking through the jungle. Allison seems to know that she's a goner. Jacob is going back home. Did she travel to the caves? Looks quite similar.
- Ah, and there are the white and black stones. MIB stakes her like a vampire! Sweet!
- No idea what she gasped- did she just call him "Jose?" She thanks him and dies. Jacob finds MIB and gives him another face pounding.
- Jacob brings MIB back to the holy light cave- throws him down it and poof! The Smoke Monster is born! Mystery solved!
- He finds MIB's body and is sad. He takes the body back to the caves and places it with their mother. Adam and Eve! BAM! Mystery solved! Keep knocking them down LOST!
- They show a cut scene from Season 1 where Jack finds the rocks and the Adam and Eve skeletons.
- I'm pretty sure they omitted the part where Jack hypothesizes that Adam and Eve are only 50 years old, but hey whatever- it's not like that is important [sarcasm.]

Overall, I liked the explanations of a lot of the stuff. However, after watching the whole thing, I see what the producers were saying about only answering questions that are important to our characters. I'm definitely more interested the normal heroes rather than Jacob and his family grudges. It seems like Jacob won't let MIB leave because he realizes he created a monster. I can't wait to see what happens next week. Time is short, and I'm worried because I'm fairly certain they don't have LOST methadone clinics.


GMoney said...

This show is no Bitch Hunter.

Have you caught up on 24 yet? This week was amazing. Half the episode was Jack torturing this poor fuck. It was awesome!

Tony B. said...

Dammit! I have not caught up yet! I have most of this weekend off from music, so that might give me enough time to catch up.

Bitch Hunter is awesome.

Rae said...

I mourn the West Wing.

OMG How much did that kid look like Zac Effron/ Justin Bieber??? Whoda thought that hair was fashionable in 55 AD?

Why did she make it ONE of them and not BOTH of them? Seems like this whole debacle could have been circiumvented if she hadn't pit her kids against one another.

Excellent xmas story ref ;)

So "they can't hurt each other" means fatally, right? Cos they can still beat the shit out of each other. Or rather, Jacob can pound MIB.

I too am worried about LOST methadon. Is that why they started V?