I borrowed this idea from the Jimmy Fallon show... wanna fight about it?
Dear Blockbuster Fantasy Baseball Trade,
Thank you for making my interest in fantasy baseball go back up. After realizing that my 4-10 team will not make the playoffs, I took a gamble and made a blockbuster trade:
I traded Kevin Youklis, Dan Uggla, Matt Holliday and Rafael Furcal FOR Chase Utley, Justin Morneau, CJ Wilson, and Miguel Tejada. My reasoning here is that Utley and Morneau will be savages once their respective injuries have healed. I'm not keeping either of the other guys, and I gave up two keepers to get them (Holliday, who is streaky, and Youklis, who is ugly.) This helps the team getting my players because it upgrades him at every position and gets his team immediately healthier. Best case scenario, he wins the championship and my keepers are savage next year. Offensively, I'm keeping a Cather (Mauer), First Baseman (Morneau), and Second Baseman (Utley.) That is pretty sweet.
Now to find a pitching ace,
Dear Big Ben,
Thank you for only urinating when you recently whipped it out on a golf course. True, thousands of men pee on golf courses every day, but there is only one or two Super Bowl MVPs who have been accused of raping
Dear Naked Lounge,
Thank you for a really fun show last night. As a first timer to your venue, I really enjoyed myself. I mean, it also saved me from being lazy last night and watching the ESPYs, so that is positive as well.
Dear Doug Stanhope,
Thank you for this blog post. (Parental Advisory, explicit content on that blog!) I'm not a huge fan of your comedy nor did I ever want to take a "comedy bootcamp," but I really enjoyed your seething perspective on people who would run such a ridiculous scam. Louie Anderson must have eaten his way through his money from Family Feud. I do not thank you for the black background and white text that makes my eyes look like D-Bo from Friday. Excellent post, though.
Dear Double Rainbow Guy,
I don't even know what to thank you for... I guess thank you for being high and owning a camera?
Congrats! You're a YouTube star for potentially climaxing over a rainbow.
Thank you for waiting exactly a week after "The Decision" by LeBron to get back to the real story that everyone is waiting for- will Brett Favre come back this year?
Kill me now,