Thursday, August 12, 2010

Thank You Notes

















I borrowed this idea from the Jimmy Fallon show... wanna fight about it?

Dear Car Horn,

Thank you for existing.  West Coast folks don't use the car horn nearly enough so I'm bringing it back to prominence.  When I was stuck in traffic after the Giants game, a car successfully drove up on the adjacent exit lane then cut in front of me to cut to the front of the waiting line.  Because I tried my best not to let them in, they were stuck jutting out into a lane where cars were zooming by.  I laid on the horn for a solid 5 seconds to let them know that what they were doing as not cool.  It seemed to have great affect.  I doubt they learned their lesson about how "cutting in line is bad" but at least I had a nice laugh. 

Bringing Honking Back,
Tony B.

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Dear Cardinals and Reds,

Thank you for brawling the other day.  My only regret is that Johnny Cueto didn't spike everyone on the Cardinals team while he was wildly kicking.  Just so we're clear, I'm cheering against whichever one of you makes the playoffs.  Tony LaRussa might be my least favorite manager ever. 

Bitterly,
Tony B.

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Dear Steven Slater,

Thank you for losing your damn mind.  If you don't know this former flight attendant's story, you should read it immediately!  This guy basically left his job in the most baller way possible.  Sliding down the inflatable slide?  Yes please!  After 28 years you had taken enough abuse- good for you Steven.  Now if only you would change your name to A.C. 

Best regards,
Tony B.

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Dear Mike Fontenot,

Thank you for hitting a two-run double on Tuesday's game against the Giants, only to be traded to the Giants the very next day.  I can only imagine had you know you would've been traded the next day, you probably wouldn't have wanted to knock in some insurance runs against your new team.  Oh well, that's the way it goes I guess.  Hell, maybe that hit got you noticed by the Giants' front office. 

Adios,
Tony B.

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Dear NFL Season,

Thank you for coming back!  I missed you so much.  If you could hurry it up and get here though, it would be MUCH appreciated.  I'm not a whole person without the Chicago Bears breaking my heart each and every Sunday (or occasionally Mondays and Thursdays.) 

Ready,
Tony B.

2 comments:

GMoney said...

I read that Jay Cutler came to camp 20 pounds fatter than he was supposed to. THE FRANCHISE!!!

I hate people that drive on the berm in traffic jams. They should be shot on sight.

Tony B. said...

That's the diabetes! He can't help it (I'm being sarcastic unless that is actually true.)