Thursday, September 30, 2010
Thank You Notes
Dear Giants Fans,
Thank you for enjoying the Cubs beating the San Diego Padres 2 of 3 thus far in their current series. I mean, even if the Padres win today, the Cubs have allowed the Giants to take care of business and gain breathing room against the Padres. It seems almost impossible that Alfonso Soriano would hit not one, but TWO home runs in a game, but that's exactly what he did Tuesday night. If my math is correct, and it always is, if the Giants win this afternoon, they only have to win 1 game against the Padres this weekend to clinch the division. Good luck.
Enjoying local relevance,
Dear "The Event,"
Thank you for trying your best to gain viewers of "Lost," "FlashForward," and "Fringe" by creating a full incoherent show that is chalked full of mysteries and an out of order storyline. I'm guessing that other shows (Lost and Fringe) were successful because they cared about the characters first then developed a mysterious and interesting story around the characters- not the reverse.
Dear Lovie Smith and Mike Martz,
Thank you for guiding the Bears to a 3-0 record. I have NO idea how the hell you guys did it. But thank you nonetheless.
Excited for Sunday Night,
Dear Cy Young Voters,
Thank you for considering Felix Hernandez for the award. I know there are plenty of arguments against him (wins, he plays in a weaker division) but for all of those arguments, there are others that show why he should win (ERA, WHIP, Ks, record against the AL East, etc.) Just because his numbers are microscopic doesn't mean they don't carry huge weight.
Apparently I'm a baseball stats nerd,
Dear Greg Giraldo,
Thank you for excellent comedy bits on all the Comedy Central Roasts, Tough Crowd With Colin Quinn, and even this past season of Last Comic Standing. I'm bummed to hear of your passing, but hopefully you can do all the drugs you want in the afterlife.
I'm not sure what to thank you for, but Happy Birthday man! Your life is pretty much over now that you're 30, but I'll be joining you in the three decade old bracket soon enough. Enjoy covering your couches with plastic, riding around in a jazzy at the grocery store, and making sure you're home in time for re-runs of Matlock each day.
I hope those ribs are good tomorrow night,