Friday, October 22, 2010
Thank You Notes
Jimmy Fallon's idea made worse on this blog- wanna fight about it?
Dear San Francisco Giants,
Thank you for making the supposedly tame Northern California Area go crazy for a sports team. The NorCal teams have been so bad (besides the Sharks) I think the rest of the country was beginning to forget that we existed. It's nice to have such a hard working and nutty group of guys to get the place riled up.
Do your thing in Game 6,
Dear Dr. Lou,
Thank you for your simple 4 things you need in life list- something to do, someone to love, something to believe in, and something to look forward to. I mean, it's such a simple list that can help so many people. Take your average Notre Dame fan and how they would follow your list:
1) Something to do: Watch ESPN College Gameday on Saturdays
2) Someone to love: Brady Quinn & Jimmy Clausen (Pre-NFL) (that's right- they get multiple people to love!)
3) Something to believe in: Touchdown Jesus!
4) Something to look forward to: Dr. Lou's lisp on display every single Saturday and Notre Dame underachieving!
Happiness is so easy to find!
Dear Nick Swardson's Pretend Time,
Thank you for stealing two half-hours of my life that I can never get back. The premises of your sketches are actually pretty good and for some reason they just aren't able to follow through with the comedy. Besides the "Trust Fund Kitty," there wasn't much else that was worth watching. It's funny that Tosh.0 will be able to use your show as a canceled Comedy Central show by the time it comes back in January.
PS: This actually does disappoint me. I love Swardson as a stand up comic and this site frequently gets hits from people searching for "Swardson Monkey High Fives." His TV show should be better.
Dear Cast of Jersey Shore,
Thank you for getting Pauly D to lose his cool. While I was watching I thought to myself, "I have no idea what they are fighting about- this whole thing makes no sense!" I still don't understand why they get so worked up over someone in the house calling someone else fake or how The Situation managed to instigate the whole "situation" then no be involved in the argument at all. I'm glad I don't live in Jersey because I'm not sure I would comprehend their douchy communication methods. On the plus side though, my abs would be ripped!
Dear Chicago Cubs,
Thank you for hiring Mike Quade as your manager. I wouldn't have been mad with Ryne Sandberg, but it is hard to deny Quade when he had such a successful run during the last portion of the year. He seemed to energize the club and work well with the younger players. I'm hoping the Cubs can build around their young players, eventually cycle out the bad contracts, add a piece or eight and be ready to compete.
Ready for Spring,
Thank you for finally posting my NEW ALBUM! Feel free to go on and write a review if you've heard it/have it. If you haven't heard it, just assume it is the greatest album ever and convey that to possible customers who might want to buy it. Maybe something like "Sgt. Pepper's meets Led Zepplin IV while being seduced by Kelly Kapowski." I'm sure you can come up with something better.