Dear MLB Experts,
Thank you for your awesome predictions. John Kruk- you are the man! Now if you all would like to take the Phillies and Rangers junk out of your mouths, you could start talking about a pretty damn good baseball TEAM that is now up 2-0 in the World Series. I'm not guaranteeing victory, but it feels like the national media is doing everything they can to not talk about the Giants- but they should start.
Dear Brian Kelly,
Thank you for putting a kid up on a scissor lift in 50 mph winds. That's probably not the best strategy if you want to the kid to, ya know, actually live until the next day. What kind of a piece of crap practices after you see a kid fall from a 50 foot tall scissor lift? You should be fired. Bring back Ty Willingham!
Scissor Me Timbers,
Dear The Office,
Thank you for making my decision easy to not watch you. The show has been losing steam for awhile, but it is just not funny any longer. I don't know what happened, but I get more laughs out of watching Saw III than watching your show.
Just end already,
Dear CJ Wilson,
Thank you for pitching a good game last night. I'm being serious. I think you're a good pitcher that will only get better. Unfortunately, your bullpen is probably the worst bullpen in the history of the World Series. I'm fairly certain their ERA is over 1,000.00. It's a rough estimation, but who has time for real research? Not me!
I'll try to draft you again next year in fantasy baseball,
Thank you for being the best holiday ever. Besides not getting work off (unless it is on the weekend like this year), everything else is great! You can dress up however you want. Girl dress up in scantily clap outfits. There is almost unlimited candy. And finally, scaring kids is acceptable!
Don't ever change,