Friday, November 19, 2010

The Dirty Hippie

This story is a tale of loneliness and perseverance.  Well, maybe not total loneliness... I did have the Chicago Bears' defense to keep me company, but I digress.

I had to stay in Davis last night because my work required me to go back around 8:15/8:30 to check in and finish up an event report.  So I decided to kill time at the Grad watching the Bears game.  I ordered my food and drink and was sitting front and center right before kickoff.  I hadn't eaten at the Grad in awhile and the Grilled Chicken Sandwich and Fries did not disappoint.  The massive Spicy Brown Mustard dispenser did a lot to enhance the experience.

Anyway, I posted up near some Bears fans in the hope that they would not be annoying.  They were all ok, but one of them had a friend who was a Dolphins fan who showed up 5 minutes into the game.  They sat right behind me and were somewhat annoying to listen to.  But then again, who am I to judge- if I wasn't alone, I wouldn't have even paid attention.

The first half was boring with the Bears putting up a dominant 6 points.  Luckily, the defense was stout and allowed 0 points throughout the game.  Just before the end of the half, I noticed a youth sports team was setting up for a party at the tables near where I was.  Now, the Grad has long tables with bench seating, so realistically I'm ok with sharing the space.  However, when an older guy plops down right next to me and says, "No one's sitting here, right?" I was forced to say, "Uhh... no."  Then he waves over three more folks and they all sit right next to me despite the room on the other side of the table.  I would've appreciated a, "Do you mind if we sit here?" rather than just forcing your presence on me, but the end result would've been the same.  Either way I would be sitting next to an old guy that smelled like a wooden barrel of red wine.

After awhile, the party was moved behind the main screen/DJ booth, so the people got up and were out of my space for the rest of the game.  The game progressed with little fanfare.  The Bears won without much fight from the Dolphins and they are now inexplicably 7-3 (and realistically could've taken down the Seahawks and Redskins, but I guess they could've lost to the Lions and Packers, so I might as well not play that game.)

Near the end of the game, I decided it was time for me to go back to work.  I got up to head to the bathroom.  I walked into the men's room and immediately smelled a homeless person's smell.  There was a hippie that exited the bathroom soon after I entered.  I'm not sure if he was trying to wash up (unlikely) or just go #2 (highly likely) but he definitely didn't wash his hands on the way out.  I thought it was gross, but I peed, washed my hands and proceeded out of the restroom.

I stood in the back and watched one more Bears' offensive series.  I leaned against one of the speaker-boxes near the back of the wooden floor and watched the game.  The hippie crept over to me and was looking around suspiciously.  There was a table a few paces in front of where I was that had a half eaten salad, 1/3 of a large Bud, and some other cups on the table.  No one was there, so it looked like the people who were sitting there had left.  The hippie comes up to me.  I am overcome with the sour smell of his dreadlocks.

"Hey man, do you know if the people who were sitting there left?"

"No man.  No idea."  I replied, completely uninterested in continuing this conversation.

"I mean, there's a lot of beer there that the bus boy is just going to dump out."

I say nothing but look at him with a combination of confusion and disgust.

"I mean I'll drink it- I'm a dirty hippie."

"Whatever man.  I don't care," I said with even more disgust.

He actually went over and drank the beer.  No regard for if people were actually coming back or if they were infected with bear AIDS.  I wonder if this guy often goes into bars and swipes leftover scraps of alcoholic drinks.  I suppose I'll never know because after he drank the beer, he disappeared from the Grad... hopefully never to be seen again.

And that is my experience watching the Bears game.  At least they won, otherwise I would've had a breakdown.


GMoney said...

Now you know why Cartman is the way he is.

Tony B. said...

Haha- and have fun with Larry Rothschild ruining young Yankee arms!

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