Tuesday, November 16, 2010

"It's All About Cyber Monday"

I completely love my wife.  That might be an obvious statement, but it's true.  I love her wonderful and quirky qualities.  For example, one thing I love about her is her outgoing nature and lack of filter.  This doesn't always benefit her in the real world, but the results are hilarious.  Here is a tale from Saturday night:

Mrs. B. and I needed to go to Target to pick up some odds and ends, so we drove to the closest store to our place- Broadway and Riverside.  This location is a little ghetto, but they have plenty of security around to make sure it is safe.  We walk in and head to the electronics section.  I don't know if you're like me, but I go to the electronics section every time I go to any Target.  I usually don't need anything there, I just go there, look around, and typically leave without buying anything.  I don't know why I do this, but I do. 

While I was perusing the DVD section, Mrs. B. wandered elsewhere.  A few minutes later I vaguely heard her talking to someone a few aisles over.  I got curious as to what she was saying.  I quietly positioned myself around an end rack and listened in. 

She was talking to a Target sales guy.  The guy was probably a 20 year old Asian dude and he was asking her about what kind of holiday shopping she'd be doing.  I immediately recognized that his tone was one of an awkward guy trying to make conversation with a cute girl, but his game was not great.  I listened for a little while longer and he was saying, "So what are you going to buy online during the holidays?"  I peeked my head around the corner to rescue Mrs. B. and she said, "I can't say- my husband's right here!"  She was implying that she'd be buying me a gift and that she wasn't able to talk about it. 

This poor guy looked suck punched.  I don't think he ever thought that she had a husband.  I know when I was younger, I just figured everyone was fair game and didn't think about people being married (not that I was an ultimate home-wrecker or anything.)  As we walked away, I inquired as to how that conversation evolved.  Mrs. B. be laughed embarrassingly and told me the story. 

I'm paraphrasing a bit, but here you go:

Mrs. B was looking at a Blackberry Torch.

Target Guy: Hi, can I help you?
Mrs. B.: Just looking at the Blackberry Torch.
TG: Are you scoping out the deals for Black Friday?
Mrs. B.: No, I don't usually shop on Black Friday.
TG: Really?  That's where all the best deals are.
Mrs. B.: There are too many people and they end up putting all the excess merchandise on sale online the following Monday. 
TG: Oh, really?  I just recently learned about Black Friday.  Do they always put stuff on sale online that following Monday?
Mrs. B.: Yeah, it's an actual thing.  It's called "Cyber Monday."
TG: Are the deals really good?
Mrs. B.: Definitely.  It's all about "Cyber Monday." (then she winks at him.) 
TG: Oh cool, well what are you going to buy online?

(This is when I make my presence known.)

Mrs. B.: I can't say- my husband is right here!

Upon talking with Mrs. B. about the conversation, she realized that winking at someone after telling them "It's all about Cyber Monday" could easily be taken as flirting and she turned a little red with embarrassment.  We had a good laugh about it because she was, in her mind, making general conversation when the awkward Target Guy was probably thinking, "This chick is flirting it up with me!" 

What a hilarious misunderstanding!  The moral of the story: It is, in fact, all about Cyber Monday. 


Mrs. B said...

Cyber Monday is legit! You forgot to mention the Mexican guy at the gym yesterday who glanced me up and down and said "Looks like you're working hard." yipes, I must be in heat or something and they can sense it like Lions or Sharks do. You even made me dinner last night. rawr.

Tony B. said...

LOL- you are on fire these days, Mrs. B. Please don't attract any wild animals to our apartment!

GMoney said...

Tony, you need to get the missus a giant spotlight for her wedding ring with all of these horney weirdos running around NorCal.

My filter is one of my best features. I hardly ever say anything without triple-checking with myself mentally that it is what I want to say. On the other hand, my sister constantly says stupid shit during family events and whatnot. She is lame.

Tony B. said...

Someone should have put a filter on the Redskins front office and had them triple-check the numbers for that McNabb contract. I don't think that was greatest move.