Monday, December 13, 2010

Reno: The Santa Pub Crawl Edition

Wow.  What a freaking weekend!  It's going to be hard to recap this, but let's try to do it in a fun but succinct manner. 

The drive up to Reno was fairly easy.  My friend John drove with me sitting shotgun and Mrs. B. and his wife Katrina in the back.  He had to drive his 4 wheel drive truck due to the chance of snow that you can encounter while driving up to Reno in December.  As it happens, the weather was fantastic and posed no threat what-so-ever to our plans.  God smiled upon this side of the country, unlike the Midwest and East Coast- but we'll get to that. 

Hilarity struck 5 seconds after getting out of the car at the valet area of the Peppermill (c'mon- did you think we'd stay anywhere else?)  As per usual, we brought liquor and mixers to build our own bar in the room.  I had purchased four 2 liter bottles of soda (because it was 4 for $.99 each or 1-3 for $1.79 each.)  I threw the plastic bag with the bottles of soda in the back of the truck initially, so when I went to grab them out of the truck the bag was splitting.  They all fell out the bottom and one of the Sprite bottles hit the pavement and exploded turning into a projectile.  LUCKILY, it did not hit another car or person.  It stopped harmlessly in the middle of the sidewalk.  I was embarrassed a little, but once I realized that no one cared and nothing was damaged I thought it was a pretty awesome sight.  I believe there was a video on Tosh.0 once showing the power of a soda bottle explosion- it's nuts!

Anyway, we checked in using our new Gold cards (using the VIP line to the left of all the commoners who have to wait in the regular line- MWAHAHA!)  After getting set and having a few drinks, we went down for some phenomenal Chinese food at Chi.  Even better, we had Miriam as our server (she was our server from the High Roller trip) so it was nice to be recognized and carry over a tiny bit of celebrity into this trip.  Dinner was delicious, but it was on to some serious business- the Craps table. 

John and I posted up for a few hours at the Craps table.  We scraped to make our cash last but it was not happening.  I had brought up some cash, but I inevitably had to go to the ATM to grab more.  I'm not really going to describe this session because it was more or less a bloodbath.  Defeated, I offered to buy John a cigar and we were pretty much going to call it a night. 

We smoked the cigars and felt lucky that our rooms were comped because at least there was no cost there.  After finishing the smokes, we went back to find our wives.  Mrs. B. was at the Craps table.  It looked like she was doing ok.  John and I couldn't control the itch and pulled out even more money from the cash machine.  This was horribly irresponsible- however this was the point where the weekend turned right around. 

John and I grabbed empty spots on the opposite ends of the table and started to play.  I only bought in with $100 and I would not need to put any more down the rest of the night (or morning as it was about 2am at this point.)  The cocktail waitress was bringing drink after drink, the dice were hitting point after point. 

The tide officially turned when a group of people decided to bet the "Don't Pass, Don't Come Line" and cheer when a 7 would clear the board.  I know I've said this before, but if you are a person who would do that, you probably would also murder a kitten and you deserve to rot in hell.  You are like the NFL player that celebrates after you make a decent hit on a receiver that just gained 14 yards and a first down- all the while your team is down 24 points.  You probably cheered for the Nazis to win World War II.  DO NOT CHEER FOR 7'S AT A CRAPS TABLE YOU EVIL BASTARDS!

The guys at my side of the table were pretty cool dudes, and they turned to me and said, "Did they really just cheer when the 7 cleared the board?  Let's over celebrate when every point hits."  I fully supported this tactic, and it lead to one of them rolling for 40 freaking minutes in a row and the rest of the table going on a monster run.  I was howling like a wolf.  I was giving Ric Flair "WOOOOs!" all over the place.  At one point I asked one of the dealers if we could tarp the area around the Craps table and pop champagne like we just won the World Series (or in some cases, just clinched a Wild Card spot.)  He laughed because apparently that was not allowed. 

It was so hot that I was physically exhausted from celebrating by the end of the run.  At one point we were all jumping around like Happy Gilmore when he celebrated with his teenage caddy by throwing him around.  Besides the 40 minute roller, there were plenty of other good rolls at the table and I eventually was too tired to continue (plus, it felt like it was cooling down a bit by 5:30am.)  John and I celebrated with a Coffee Shop meal then stumbled back to our respective rooms.  For just that session, I turned $100 into $1335.  It's too bad about the initial loss, but we more than made up that and set us up nicely for the rest of the weekend. 

Let's skip through to the Santa Crawl.  We caught a cab the next night (Saturday night) and headed to the El Dorado to meet up with Morgan and her group of friends (Morgan was the host of the High Roller videos.)  I, of course, dressed up like Buddy the Elf and while I felt a little ridiculous walking through the Peppermill to get the cab, I fit right in once we arrived at the Santa Crawl location.  EVERYONE was dressed up to some degree.  Mrs. B. was impressed because she thought our costumes were awesome (which they were) but by no means were we the only ones dressed up in full Christmas gear.  I saw millions of Santas, thousands of Jesuses, and another 3 Buddy the Elfs (Elves?) 

Some of the Crawl was a blur, but involved a decent amount of walking, at some point we found a more open area with a bar selling cans of Bud Light with a shot of Jameson for $6 each.  That pretty much made me a happy little camper for the remainder of the night.  It was fun hanging out with Morgan and her husband Kevin along with the rest of their group of friends.  Overall, it was a very fun event. 

Around midnight, we found our way back to the Reno sign and took some pictures (as seen on Facebook) and found a cab back to the Peppermill.  John and I tried to recapture the magic from the night before (and actually from the afternoon session where we won another few hundred bucks) but it was not to be.  I lost around $300 during that session to bring down a bit.  As other expenses were cutting into my cash (food, cabs, drinks, I gave Mrs. B. some money to gamble with) I calculated that I was up around $300 for the trip by the end of the night.  I was going to let myself be up and be happy with that...

I was content... at least until my childhood friend, regular commenter, awesome blogger, and humanitarian G$ texted me around 9am.  The text in fact woke me up out of bed and it said, "Bet unders in the midwest and east coast today... bet them big."  I had asked him for advice on Saturday, but the last minute advice Sunday morning stoked a fire in me and I decided to go big or go home (well, I was going home either way after the 1pm games, but you know what I'm saying.) 

I looked at the games that would be affected by the AWFUL weather on the Eastern side of the country and would also involve teams that are offensively challenged.  I put $75 each on the unders of Browns/Bills, Redskins/Bucs, and Dolphins/Jets.  G$ had also mentioned that he liked the Jags over the Raiders by 3.5 so I put $75 on that (I do love betting against the Raiders.)  This added up to exactly $300.  The amount I was up.  I was either going home up or even. 

The Jags/Raiders game was awful for the first half.  It looked bleak until the Jags made some halftime adjustments and came back out ready to play.  In winning by 7, they covered (in dramatic fashion) and I was stoked.  The Browns/Bills game was never a problem, and the Redskins/Bucs game got a little dicey at the end, but realistically, I had that game at under 40.5 so even if the 'Skins had tied the game at 17-17 to send it to over time, another 6 would have made the total exactly 40, so I would've still won.  3-0 for the morning games, so all I needed was a massive slop-fest for the Dolphins/Jets game and that's exactly what I got.  My friend John played some parlays and actually followed my bets Sunday morning, so he in fact threw $20 on those four bets and won $240- winners all around!  Thanks G$- you can expect me to click through some ads on your site to repay you a few nickles for your advice.  In all seriousness, when are you starting your own phone line or betting site? 

So in the end, I won around $600, had our room comped, dressed up like an Elf and we drove home safely.  That's what I call another magical trip to Reno! 

5 comments:

GMoney said...

Sounds like it was another great weekend in Reno.

That's the thing about gambling on sports: always look at the weather. It's why I'm pissed that Fox doesn't have Jillian Barberie get sexually harrassed on the pregame show anymore. I need to know if there is 100% chance of rain in Carolina today, dammit! Ironically, the only over/under that I lost was the game where the weather was the worst (coughyourteamcough). It was a great gambling day indeed. God bless you, Maurice Jones-Drew!

Tony B. said...

Next time She$ wants to take you on vacation, tell her to line up a trip to Reno. Forget SF or Vegas- let's hang out at the Peppermill!

It's pretty funny that due to us being Gold members, we are allowed a late check out time of 1pm, so I had to go up and get the stuff out of the room at the last possible moment which caused me to not be the under of the Bears game. Another lucky coincidence for the weekend!

Mid-way through the Jags game I almost send you a text about sending hate mail to David Garrad's house, but now I want to send him a fruit basket, or something else positive but lame.

Tony B. said...

My typing grammar has been at an all time low today. Much apologies.

- "...not to BET the under of the Bears game."

- "I almost SENT you a text..."

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