Thursday, December 16, 2010
Thank You Notes
Jimmy Fallon's idea made worse on this blog- wanna fight about it?
Thank you for entertaining the idea of taking Carlos Zambrano off the Cubs' hands. I mean, there still is that pesky no trade clause to deal with, but unloading Big Z's contract might free up the Cubs to change the roster around. I'm unsure if this would help either team, but it certainly would be interesting, so rock on Brian Cashman and Jim Hendry- get it done!
Watching with anticipation,
Dear Minnesota Vikings,
Thank you for building your stadium out of what appears to be some metal beams, a parachute and duct tape. Assuming the Monday Night Game even happens, I'd like to thank you in advance for quitting on each other like you have most of the season. It will really help the Bears out (and Bears- you guys better be hungry after getting embarrassed last week!)
Probably time to bet the under again,
Thank you for putting out the worst clothing line I've ever seen. Who would wear this?
I mean seriously??? Unless you were in dire need of sidewalk camouflage, there's no way anyone would buy this horrid looking article of "clothing."
I know you can do better,
Dear Fast Five,
Thank you for being released. How can you possibly beat a movie with the combined power of Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Tyrese Gibson, AND the Rock!? The answer? You can't! I didn't even see the 4th movie in this series, but how am I going to miss the highest form of unintentional comedy since Jean Claude Van Damme's finest works? You all have outdone yourselves this time. Go see this movie or Vin Diesel might eat your children- he's been known to do that. Did I also mention that Ludacris is in the movie as well?
Dear Minty The Candy Cane That Fell On The Ground,
Thank you for bringing cheer and happiness to the Christmas Season. Watch this and try to get the song out of your head. It will burrow like a mischievous badger and never leave your consciousness.