Wow, I can't believe it's really ending. I'd like to say it will be great to get some definitive answers, but we all know how LOST rolls... and "definitive" is not something that the LOST producers believe in.
A quick update, I am going into surgery tomorrow (actually, that means by the time you read this, I'll probably be getting prepped.) I don't want to give away too much, but let's just say that they are putting me under and sticking something up my pee hole to perform the surgery. Yeah, it hurt me just writing it. The positive- if I die, at least I'll know how LOST ends... (I kid, I'm not planning on dying...)
Ok, I'll do my best on this, but with 2.5 hours of awesomeness, I may skip some parts so I can take in the whole episode. Without further ado, it's time to get it on!
- Slow motion, piano intro... Could that be Christian Shepherd's body? I'd say yes indeed.
- Jack looks like he's prepping for surgery on Locke- and they also show him in the creek on the island. Now Ben and Ben's alternate. They are showing many of the characters in both timelines. I guess this is good to establish the finale.
- Desmond is signing for Christian's body. What is this guy up to? Hitting people with cars and stealing dead bodies?
- Kate mocks Christian's name. Hilarious. Kate is pressing Desmond about what he wants. Desmond wants to leave... back to the island?
- Back on the island, Kate is looking at Jack as he stands in water. Sawyer asks him if he's ok.
- Jack admits that he doesn't feel any different. Weak. Where are his super powers?
- Sawyer thinks that Desmond is the key to things, so he treks off while having playful banter with Kate.
- Hurley- "Jacob is worse than Yoda." YES HE IS.
- Hurley has a bad feeling about this... that makes 10 million of us.
- Back in LA_X, Hurley and Sayid are back at the hotel that they once went to when Sayid killed some mofos.
- Hey look! It's Charlie Pace with eyeliner and booze.
- Hurley is trying to talk Charlie into coming out, but Charlie ain't having it. So Hurley shoots him with a tranq and throws him in the canary Hummer.
- Jack says, the island is the only thing in his life he hasn't ruined. Well, that's not a good omen.
- Ben finds Sawyer in the brush, and holds him at gunpoint. Of course, Ben is back to being a dick.
- Locke admits that he needs Desmond to destroy the island. He also mentions candidates and Sawyer says he's not a candidate anymore. He then swiftly elbows Ben and takes his gun. Classic Sawyer.
- Turns out Rose and Bernard were the ones that rescued Desmond. Sweet! Their hippy shack is still open for business.
- Rose and Bernard broke their rules by bringing Desmond around- and Bernard was found by Locke and Ben. Locke threatens Rose and Bernard and Desmond is going to cave.
- Desmond asks for Locke's word not to touch Rose and Bernard- ever. It's really important. Locke seems to be held to "his word" each time he gives it.
- Too bad we don't get to see more of Vincent. I was wondering where that dog was.
- Desmond guesses that they are going toward a bright light, and that spooks Locke. Also, Ben's radio goes off and he lies about it. Maybe Ben is conning him after all.
- Miles and Alpert are on the other side of the jungle and I guess they are still going to blow up the plane. Is that even an issue anymore?
- Back in the other time line, we see Miles and Sawyer discussing what they are going to do. The pawns are getting into place.
- Wow- Juliet checks in on Sun at the hospital. Are we going to see some flashes of the island with the ultrasound?
- Yep- that's exactly what we get. Awesome.
- And Jin flashes as well. They both see everything. So awesome... no words...
- And they both can speak English now. So cool. We done LOST.
- Sawyer is now running back to Jack and crew. Jack realizes that everyone is going to the same place. And once they get there, everything ends...
- Back in the other timeline, Jack is about to operate on Locke. Their scenes are the best.
- "There's always a chance I could kill you." "See you on the other side." Quite important. "If I can fix you Mr. Locke, that's all the peace I'll need."
- Miles finds Richard's first gray hair. And Richard just realized he wants to live. Now they are in the outrigger and they find the Lawnmower Man himself- Frank J. Lapidus!
- Frank suggests they fly the plane away rather than blow it up.
- Now Locke and Jack are facing off. Their conversation literally made me yell out loud. Jack explains exactly what Locke wants to do, and tells him that he's going to kill Locke in a surprise manner. Matthew Fox and Terry O'Quinn deserve awards for their performances this season.
- LA_X, Jack and Juliet run into each other. is she David's mom? Yep- that answers that. Jack and Juliet were married and have a kid. Juliet passes Sawyer on the way out. He's looking for Sun.
- Desmond is a weapon. Agreed.
- Jack, Desmond and Locke are going forward from this point on. Hurley gives him one last pep talk and they're off. Back to where everything started.
- It is bright and sunny, yet you can hear the thunder rolling.
- They find the light of island. And Desmond tries to convince Jack that nothing matters from here on out... Jack disagrees and goes down into the heart of the island.
- It looks like they are going down to where Saruman was making Orcs in Lord of the Rings.
- Seems like each commercial is bringing us back to the alternate timeline. Hurley and Sayid are chillin'.
- Hurley says that Sayid is a good guy. It really seems to affect him. Yet, Sayid is resisting his evaluation.
- Sayid springs into action and rescues Shannon from an assailant. So cool that they brought Shannon back. Wow. I guess Shannon is Sayid's true love.
- Boone was in on the whole thing! These realizations are so rewarding!
- Miles radios Ben and mentions the whole "get off the island thing." Claire comes out of the jungle and refuses to join them. She'll end up going- bank on it.
- Desmond is now getting lowered down into the light. Locke and Jack are shown near the top of the waterfall in the exact same shot from the Season 1 finale. Locke is right- it's exactly like the Hatch. Oh sweet, irony.
- Back to this so called concert, Juliet and David are waiting in line with Claire. Juliet leaves and Claire and David are attending the concert as a duo.
- Charlotte is in the dressing room, and runs into Daniel Faraday. Daniel clearly knows what's going on (as in he recognizes Charlotte.)
- Kate and Claire recognize each other at table 23. Dr. Pierre Chang introduces the concert.
- The concert begins with Daniel playing piano. Charlie sees Claire and they recognize each other... she feels a baby pain. Kate follows- I hope she's ready to deliver a baby.
- There are many sets of bones down in the cave where Desmond is. He goes into the pool and his body resists. He pulls up a cork, and it sounds like a turbine shutting down. Darkness.
- Red smoke comes up from the bottom.
- "It looks like you were wrong. Goodbye Jack." Awesome.
- Uh oh, somebody lost their power. MIB is vulnerable. Lucky for him he bashes Jack on the head with a rock. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
- Claire is going into labor, and Kate finds her to help her.
- Eloise goes up to Desmond and reminds him that he was to stop this. Desmond doesn't give to craps! He says he won't take Daniel with him.
- Kate and Claire are now delivering Aaron- Charlie wonders into area. Kate is having her island flashes and remembers everything. Claire sees everything when Aaron is handed to her. Again, these flashes are hitting on the money.
- Really emotional moment when Claire and Charlie see each other.
- Desmond asks Kate if he understands- she asks, "So now what?" My thought exactly.
- Ben saves Hurley from a falling tree! He may have sacrificed himself for Hurley.
- The group can't get the tree off Ben. Miles is radioing the other group. I have no idea what is going on. The island seems to be falling apart.
- Jack found Locke and they are running at each other- worst commercial break ever! In the history of television. Seriously.
- PS: Jack's jumping punch was pretty sweet. Assuming he doesn't get stabbed at the end of it, of course.
- Back to the Jack/MIB battle. Cliff battles are awesome. They should make a show called Cliff Battles.
- The cliff's falling, Locke grabs the knife and stabs Jack.
- There's that mark on Jack's neck.
- Kate shoots Locke and exclaims, "I saved you a bullet." Jack kicks Locke over the cliff and he lands below. They had to give MIB a definitive death.
- Jack and Locke are now in post-op. Locke is wiggling his toe, just like the first episode. And Locke is flashing to the island. So awesome. Jack has a flash, but not a full one.
- "I hope that someone does for you, what you just did for me." Agreed. Jack's neck is no longer bleeding. Coincidence?
- It's no longer raining on the island. Has the storm passed? Or is the this the calm before the real storm. Jack, says he's fine, except he's not fine. That fool stabbed him deep.
- Alt. Sawyer is visiting Jin and Sun. They know what's going on, and tell him they're safe. Sawyer has no idea what's going on, yet, Jin and Sun know they're ok.
- Frank is now trying to get the plane working- getting close now...
- Jack says he needs to go back to the light of the island... he's going to try to turn it back on.
- Jack and James shake hands. Then Ben and Hurley decide to go with Jack.
- Jack and Kate passionately kiss goodbye. She says she loves Jack. And Jack says it back. Well, that was about 6 years of blue balls relieved.
- The Target commercial with the Smoke Monster is pretty hilarious. Don't forget that Smoke alarms are $10.99!
- Back at the plane, Miles, Richard and Lapidus are fixing it as best as possible. Sawyer and Kate are jumping off the cliff for the boat. Kate goes first, and Sawyer goes head first. Damn- what a savage!
- Sawyer and Jack see each other in LA_X. Sawyer's candy bar gets stuck just like Jack's before it. Juliet and Sawyer's hands touch and they both flash. They see everything. Just another awesome awakening moment.
- "You got it blondie." So good.
- Jack gets to the concert too late. Kate tells him it's over. She's trying to refresh his memory- slowly but surely.
- Kate touches his cheeks. Jack flashes and he's having a hard time having his realization.
- Back at the island, Hurley is helping Jack back to the cave. Ben is trailing. More rocks are falling.
- Hurley realizes that Jack is sacrificing himself for the good of the island. Jack is going to give stewardship of the island to Hurley. They foreshadowed this in the last episode.
- Ben offers a water bottle. Ben's being pretty damn cool about this whole thing. Is he still scheming?
- No chanting or anything? He does say "Now you're like me" so maybe it did work.
- Frank gets the plane up and running.
- Jack is going on down to the bottom of the cave. Jack finds Desmond and wakes him up. They need to cork the island back up. Jack ties Desmond up, and says, "See ya in another life, brotha." They have done a great job revisiting old catch phrases and moments.
- Looks like Frank is leaving without them. Claire doesn't want to leave because she's crazy. Kate offers to help, and Claire seems to come around to that. Luckily this is a TV show otherwise they would never get there in time.
- The plane is going to blow up... I'm predicting right now. Uh oh. Sawyer and crew made it on time. Might not be a good thing.
- Jack is dragging the stone back into place. Is it even doing anything?
- Claire is on. So is Kate. Sawyer is there as well.
- Frank takes off as the run way collapses below them.
- Wow, it actually took off. Insane. I can't believe this might be a happy ending here. Seems too easy.
- Jack is still down in the red hole. Water starts to flow back into the well. Looks like Jack did it. He turned the light back on. They pull Desmond back up. Jack is still down there...
- Locke is up and walking around in his alt. time. Wait- not just yet. he's still got his wheelchair.
- He's going to see Ben. He says "Hello Benjamin." They obviously are both enlightened. Ben apologizes for killing Locke in another life. Ben says Locke was "special."
- Locke forgives Ben. So f***ing cool.
- Locke gets up out of his chair- then walks up the non-handicapped accessible stairs.
- Ben, Hurley and Desmond are still on the island. Ben tells Hurley he should run things the way he wants to. Ben agrees to help Hurley out.
- Hurley pops out, and asks Ben to come in. They share a moment about being a great number 1 and number 2. Insert poop/pee joke.
- Jack is now going to his father's funeral. They'll be there once he's ready to leave... where are they going?
- Jack shows up in the creek. Is he a smoke monster now?
- Alt Jack goes around back as instructed. His father's body is there. He does a lap and touches the coffin. He begins to flash. He can finally see it all. His father's body is not in there again. Christian is alive?!?! Holy shit-balls.
- "How are you here?" Jack died as well?
- This is mind blowing- all these people are dead in the alt. timeline... and they're all together because they wanted to remember each other from the island?
Ok, so I didn't write anything for the last 5-10 minutes. I agree that it sucks we don't get to see how Hurley ran the island, or what happened to Sawyer and Kate and that bunch- HOWEVER- that was an emotionally satisfying conclusion that helps us realize that the on-island story was in fact the most important timeline. They didn't cop out on the island end of things. They did split the timelines to vaguely emphasize how important the on island events were.
I'm assuming the alt-timeline IS in fact purgatory (rather than the early season 1 assumptions that the island is purgatory.) I enjoyed how Jack got closure with his father (even if it was in the afterlife.) Who knows where our characters traveled to- back to the island to become whispers? Maybe to heaven? I suppose that could be why Ben is staying to work things out. He hasn't repented just yet.
All in all, that was an amazing ride and I am satisfied. It gave me an emotional experience that was more worthwhile than any other TV show I've ever watched. Great job to everyone associated with LOST- you have a lot to be proud of.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
LOST: What They Died For
First up- update on the kidney issue. There is no real update. I got an IVP, which means I had to drink 16 oz. of Magnesium Citrate to "clear out my system." In fact, I had a show that night, and believe me, there's nothing like playing a show after having explosive diarrhea all day (though the show was pretty fun- our live band karaoke band went under the moniker of "JaMarcus Roethlisberger" and played a gig at Marilyn's as a cover band.)
Anyway, the IVP produced pictures of the problem and I'm going in on Thursday for a follow up. I'm assuming we'll schedule surgery for the following week. I'll keep ya'll updated.
Ok, on to LOST. Last week, we saw a flashback of the origins of Jacob, MIB and their "Mother." I have to assume we're catching back up with our main characters and I'm pumped. Onward for the last 3.5 hours of the show!
- Starting with the opening of Jack's eye. Well, if that ain't reoccurring imagery, I don't know what is. Hmm... now Jack has another weird wound. Where did that come from?
- Eating breakfast with David, they mention his mother and how Jack might get weird... who is the mother?
- Claire pops up, and they eat as one happy "family."
- Desmond is up to some tricks- he tells Jack that they found his father's coffin. What's Desmond's play here? Hit him with a car or set him up with a date?
- Now Jack is sewing up Kate. Image #2 from the first episode of the series.
- Kate is bringing up Jin and Sun's baby- then she says "Locke did this. We have to kill him." Jack says "I know" like he's actually going to kill Locke. I wonder if this is a bad idea as Locke seems to be able to kill people once they shoot or get violent with him.
- Sawyer sees some life preservers wash up on the beach and thinks, "I done f***ed up."
- Hurley wishes some Dharma Ranch would wash up on the beach.
- Jack is leading the way- let's find Desmond. He's in a well. Where's lassie when you need him.
- Desmond is back and thinking about beating the holy hell out of Ben Linus. I'd probably do the same thing. He also claimed that he wants to help Locke.
- Hey! It's Richard, Ben, and Miles- the three musketeers!
- Miles is turning in circles- who's dead in the barracks? Miles is sensing Alex because Richard buried her near the fence.
- Now they are in Ben's house looking for C4. Ben says the room is where he was told he could "summon the monster." But that was before he realized the monster was summing him.
- Oh great, Zoe and Widmore in Ben's house as well. Thanks for ruining the scene. I feel like Matt Stone and Trey Parker in BASEketball- "Aw, Aww, AWW!"
- Ben aims his gun at Widmore. Just shoot him already. He's a douche.
- Thank you for excusing Zoe- she has no purpose in this scene.
- Widmore claims "Jacob told him to come back." That sounds like quite a story.
- Locke is checking in on Ben in the other timeline. Ben describes his interaction with Desmond, and he said that he believed that Desmond wants to help Locke "let go."
- Desmond is now checking in on Sawyer- but he admits to both crimes and is now locked up with Sayid and Kate. What a friggin' coincidence.
- Now, back to the jungle, Jack and Sawyer are having a talk about how Sawyer more than likely killed Jin and Sun. Jack reassures Sawyer that it was Locke and not Sawyer that sunk the submarine.
- Now Hurley is seeing young Jacob. He wants the ashes. Is he a ghost? Well, if he is, he just stole the ashes and ran away. Hurley chases after- and magically Jacob is older.
- Jacob says when the ashes burn away, Hurley will never see him again. Smooth move Jacob. Somebody is bailing at the most important time!
- Locke is getting out of his boat and he inspects the other boat, and now he's coming for the other group. Miles is freaking out and I'm going to guess he's going to get 187'ed pretty quick.
- Richard is now going out to talk to Locke... and then he gets absolutely gored! Damn- just like a big black puff of smoke version of Rhyno.
- Locke says he needs Ben to kill some people. And then he offers the island to Ben. Ben is agreeing to all these terms and selling out Widmore. He must have something up his sleeve.
- In the LA X world, Alex and Danielle give Ben a ride back to their house. They eat dinner and now it looks like Ben and Danielle are hitting it off. Redemption. Ben's crying because he realizes he has a fatherly connection to Alex.
- Now Ben's leading evil Locke to the closet where Widmore and Zoe are waiting.
- YES! Locke slits Zoe's throat! Thank you evil Locke! Best action you've ever taken.
- Widmore says he's going to kill Penny first thing if he gets off the island.
- Ben murders Widmore in cold blood. Then he asks to kill other people. Maybe Ben is going off the deep end.
- Now everyone can see Jacob. The whole group- Kate, Sawyer, Jack and Hurley.
- Jacob is sorry about all the death- and he's going to explain everything- and when the fire burns out, one of them will be the next Jacob. Sweet.
- Back in sideways (dammit) Locke is going to see Jack. Maybe Locke is ready to get his surgery.
- Locke is recapping their history of the flight, etc, etc. Locke is finally buying into the "this is happening for a reason." He's ready to get fixed (in a good way, not like a dog or cat.)
- Jacob is now explaining his mistake how he created Smokey.
- Sawyer says he was "just fine." Jacob disagreed and said he brought them all there because because they were all flawed.
- Now they need to figure out who is going to be the new island protector.
- Jack steps up and believes it is his destiny to protect the island. So awesome- he's taking his destiny and grabbing it by the balls. I love it!
- Jacob brings them to the heart of the island. Kate, Sawyer, and Hurley watch.
- Jacob whispers an incantation and gives Jack a cup to drink. He drinks and becomes island protector. Does he get enlightened? Seems like it. But let's remember, Ben Linus is on the loose just like OJ after Nicole Brown- yikes.
- Back in LA X, Kate says Sawyer doesn't seem like a cop.
- Desmond, Sayid and Kate are getting transported and Desmond says he'll get them out of there if they promise to give him a favor. Ana Lucia pops up and lets them go for a bribe. Hurley seems awfully enlightened as he recognizes Ana Lucia.
- Now they are all off on a mission. Desmond and Kate are going to a concert.
- Ben asks the obvious question- why does MIB walk if he can just turn into smoke? He likes the feeling of the group on his feet.
- Locke is happy that Desmond is alive because Desmond is going to help him destroy the island... doubtful, but I suppose it's possible since that alternate timeline exists.
Absolutely great episode. Wonderful lead in to the finale. Jack becomes the island protector (though I'm not convinced he's going to live that long and one of the other candidates will have to take his place before the end.) Desmond is getting crazy in the alternate universe and Locke still has a plan to wreak havoc. I absolutely can't wait until Sunday!
Anyway, the IVP produced pictures of the problem and I'm going in on Thursday for a follow up. I'm assuming we'll schedule surgery for the following week. I'll keep ya'll updated.
Ok, on to LOST. Last week, we saw a flashback of the origins of Jacob, MIB and their "Mother." I have to assume we're catching back up with our main characters and I'm pumped. Onward for the last 3.5 hours of the show!
- Starting with the opening of Jack's eye. Well, if that ain't reoccurring imagery, I don't know what is. Hmm... now Jack has another weird wound. Where did that come from?
- Eating breakfast with David, they mention his mother and how Jack might get weird... who is the mother?
- Claire pops up, and they eat as one happy "family."
- Desmond is up to some tricks- he tells Jack that they found his father's coffin. What's Desmond's play here? Hit him with a car or set him up with a date?
- Now Jack is sewing up Kate. Image #2 from the first episode of the series.
- Kate is bringing up Jin and Sun's baby- then she says "Locke did this. We have to kill him." Jack says "I know" like he's actually going to kill Locke. I wonder if this is a bad idea as Locke seems to be able to kill people once they shoot or get violent with him.
- Sawyer sees some life preservers wash up on the beach and thinks, "I done f***ed up."
- Hurley wishes some Dharma Ranch would wash up on the beach.
- Jack is leading the way- let's find Desmond. He's in a well. Where's lassie when you need him.
- Desmond is back and thinking about beating the holy hell out of Ben Linus. I'd probably do the same thing. He also claimed that he wants to help Locke.
- Hey! It's Richard, Ben, and Miles- the three musketeers!
- Miles is turning in circles- who's dead in the barracks? Miles is sensing Alex because Richard buried her near the fence.
- Now they are in Ben's house looking for C4. Ben says the room is where he was told he could "summon the monster." But that was before he realized the monster was summing him.
- Oh great, Zoe and Widmore in Ben's house as well. Thanks for ruining the scene. I feel like Matt Stone and Trey Parker in BASEketball- "Aw, Aww, AWW!"
- Ben aims his gun at Widmore. Just shoot him already. He's a douche.
- Thank you for excusing Zoe- she has no purpose in this scene.
- Widmore claims "Jacob told him to come back." That sounds like quite a story.
- Locke is checking in on Ben in the other timeline. Ben describes his interaction with Desmond, and he said that he believed that Desmond wants to help Locke "let go."
- Desmond is now checking in on Sawyer- but he admits to both crimes and is now locked up with Sayid and Kate. What a friggin' coincidence.
- Now, back to the jungle, Jack and Sawyer are having a talk about how Sawyer more than likely killed Jin and Sun. Jack reassures Sawyer that it was Locke and not Sawyer that sunk the submarine.
- Now Hurley is seeing young Jacob. He wants the ashes. Is he a ghost? Well, if he is, he just stole the ashes and ran away. Hurley chases after- and magically Jacob is older.
- Jacob says when the ashes burn away, Hurley will never see him again. Smooth move Jacob. Somebody is bailing at the most important time!
- Locke is getting out of his boat and he inspects the other boat, and now he's coming for the other group. Miles is freaking out and I'm going to guess he's going to get 187'ed pretty quick.
- Richard is now going out to talk to Locke... and then he gets absolutely gored! Damn- just like a big black puff of smoke version of Rhyno.
- Locke says he needs Ben to kill some people. And then he offers the island to Ben. Ben is agreeing to all these terms and selling out Widmore. He must have something up his sleeve.
- In the LA X world, Alex and Danielle give Ben a ride back to their house. They eat dinner and now it looks like Ben and Danielle are hitting it off. Redemption. Ben's crying because he realizes he has a fatherly connection to Alex.
- Now Ben's leading evil Locke to the closet where Widmore and Zoe are waiting.
- YES! Locke slits Zoe's throat! Thank you evil Locke! Best action you've ever taken.
- Widmore says he's going to kill Penny first thing if he gets off the island.
- Ben murders Widmore in cold blood. Then he asks to kill other people. Maybe Ben is going off the deep end.
- Now everyone can see Jacob. The whole group- Kate, Sawyer, Jack and Hurley.
- Jacob is sorry about all the death- and he's going to explain everything- and when the fire burns out, one of them will be the next Jacob. Sweet.
- Back in sideways (dammit) Locke is going to see Jack. Maybe Locke is ready to get his surgery.
- Locke is recapping their history of the flight, etc, etc. Locke is finally buying into the "this is happening for a reason." He's ready to get fixed (in a good way, not like a dog or cat.)
- Jacob is now explaining his mistake how he created Smokey.
- Sawyer says he was "just fine." Jacob disagreed and said he brought them all there because because they were all flawed.
- Now they need to figure out who is going to be the new island protector.
- Jack steps up and believes it is his destiny to protect the island. So awesome- he's taking his destiny and grabbing it by the balls. I love it!
- Jacob brings them to the heart of the island. Kate, Sawyer, and Hurley watch.
- Jacob whispers an incantation and gives Jack a cup to drink. He drinks and becomes island protector. Does he get enlightened? Seems like it. But let's remember, Ben Linus is on the loose just like OJ after Nicole Brown- yikes.
- Back in LA X, Kate says Sawyer doesn't seem like a cop.
- Desmond, Sayid and Kate are getting transported and Desmond says he'll get them out of there if they promise to give him a favor. Ana Lucia pops up and lets them go for a bribe. Hurley seems awfully enlightened as he recognizes Ana Lucia.
- Now they are all off on a mission. Desmond and Kate are going to a concert.
- Ben asks the obvious question- why does MIB walk if he can just turn into smoke? He likes the feeling of the group on his feet.
- Locke is happy that Desmond is alive because Desmond is going to help him destroy the island... doubtful, but I suppose it's possible since that alternate timeline exists.
Absolutely great episode. Wonderful lead in to the finale. Jack becomes the island protector (though I'm not convinced he's going to live that long and one of the other candidates will have to take his place before the end.) Desmond is getting crazy in the alternate universe and Locke still has a plan to wreak havoc. I absolutely can't wait until Sunday!
Friday, May 14, 2010
I Gots Problems
Ok, so I mentioned medical problems earlier in the week. I'm not sure if this goes into the heading of TMI, but I'll explain what I have going on, and then outline how this affects the blog.
A few weeks ago, I went to the doctor for a physical and to check on back pain. The doctor said I have a bulging disc in my L5 vertebrae, but that I should get a MRI just so we can see exactly what is going on. No problem, right? It seems like the prudent course of action.
I go in for the MRI, which is a pretty right space to get in to. When they ask you "are you claustrophobic?" I immediately said, "no." Upon actually getting in the machine I rethought my answer. You have to lay in this small space, completely still for 20-30 minutes while they take the MRI. I honestly just closed my eyes and tried to forget where I was.
Upon getting the results back, it was clear that I had a bulging disc. However, they also found some other stuff as well (this is called an "incidental find" in biz- I know, it's a little inside.) Namely, a kidney stone sitting in my left kidney, and cysts on my ureter (left side.) I told you this was going to be TMI!
Anyway, I saw the urologist yesterday, and he explained my issues. I in fact have a birth defect that happens in about 1 out of every 4,000 people called a ureterocele. Yes, I know it says pediatric on the web link provided- but that's because this will mostly be found when you're a kid. Unfortunately, it was never caught, and now the doctor said my left kidney is "dying." Luckily, there is still some "meat" on it, so it is probably savable.
So, my initial reaction to being told that one of my innards is dying? Scared shitless. However, after thinking about the full diagnosis, I realize that it's probably lucky I went to the doctor for back pain only to find this serious problem. Also, my right kidney looks completely normal so no matter what this won't kill me.
I am now going to get an IVP which is essentially a way to course iodine through me to see how my kidney and bladder are functioning. Assuming they function in a certain way, the doctor said I can have an in-an-out procedure that will relieve the pressure building up, and allow my kidney to function normally (and heal itself.) Had we caught this problem later, I may have had to have the whole thing removed. As a bonus, because my ureter is so dilated, he said he might be able to go up and grab the kidney stone while he's in there. Two birds with one stone! Alright!
So that's where I'm at. And it's why I'm going to take a small break from blogging. I'll do the last two LOST live blogs (I've come this far, so I have to finish off the season.) I am NOT retiring the blog, and plan to be back. It's just one thing that needs to take a backseat while I get all my health issues in order. I'm still playing all the scheduled shows I have (though the surgery is not scheduled yet, so I suppose there is a possibility of cancelation.) In fact, my live band karaoke band (I think we might be called "Cover Your Junk" at this point) is playing a gig where we are just a band rather than doing the karaoke thing this weekend. I think it's closed for our friend's birthday, otherwise I'd invite everybody. We'll see how that goes and maybe there will be more shows like this one.
Oh, and to any of my basketball teammates, I'm going to continue playing. After surgery, I might miss a game, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
Thank you all who have been reading (I know you're there even though you may be timid about commenting at times.) This blog is a fun outlet, and I have a feeling that taking a break will help rejuvenate my writing and hopefully I can come up with some good stories when I return (rather than it being like Michael Jordan going to the Wizards... ugh.) See you all soon!
A few weeks ago, I went to the doctor for a physical and to check on back pain. The doctor said I have a bulging disc in my L5 vertebrae, but that I should get a MRI just so we can see exactly what is going on. No problem, right? It seems like the prudent course of action.
I go in for the MRI, which is a pretty right space to get in to. When they ask you "are you claustrophobic?" I immediately said, "no." Upon actually getting in the machine I rethought my answer. You have to lay in this small space, completely still for 20-30 minutes while they take the MRI. I honestly just closed my eyes and tried to forget where I was.
Upon getting the results back, it was clear that I had a bulging disc. However, they also found some other stuff as well (this is called an "incidental find" in biz- I know, it's a little inside.) Namely, a kidney stone sitting in my left kidney, and cysts on my ureter (left side.) I told you this was going to be TMI!
Anyway, I saw the urologist yesterday, and he explained my issues. I in fact have a birth defect that happens in about 1 out of every 4,000 people called a ureterocele. Yes, I know it says pediatric on the web link provided- but that's because this will mostly be found when you're a kid. Unfortunately, it was never caught, and now the doctor said my left kidney is "dying." Luckily, there is still some "meat" on it, so it is probably savable.
So, my initial reaction to being told that one of my innards is dying? Scared shitless. However, after thinking about the full diagnosis, I realize that it's probably lucky I went to the doctor for back pain only to find this serious problem. Also, my right kidney looks completely normal so no matter what this won't kill me.
I am now going to get an IVP which is essentially a way to course iodine through me to see how my kidney and bladder are functioning. Assuming they function in a certain way, the doctor said I can have an in-an-out procedure that will relieve the pressure building up, and allow my kidney to function normally (and heal itself.) Had we caught this problem later, I may have had to have the whole thing removed. As a bonus, because my ureter is so dilated, he said he might be able to go up and grab the kidney stone while he's in there. Two birds with one stone! Alright!
So that's where I'm at. And it's why I'm going to take a small break from blogging. I'll do the last two LOST live blogs (I've come this far, so I have to finish off the season.) I am NOT retiring the blog, and plan to be back. It's just one thing that needs to take a backseat while I get all my health issues in order. I'm still playing all the scheduled shows I have (though the surgery is not scheduled yet, so I suppose there is a possibility of cancelation.) In fact, my live band karaoke band (I think we might be called "Cover Your Junk" at this point) is playing a gig where we are just a band rather than doing the karaoke thing this weekend. I think it's closed for our friend's birthday, otherwise I'd invite everybody. We'll see how that goes and maybe there will be more shows like this one.
Oh, and to any of my basketball teammates, I'm going to continue playing. After surgery, I might miss a game, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
Thank you all who have been reading (I know you're there even though you may be timid about commenting at times.) This blog is a fun outlet, and I have a feeling that taking a break will help rejuvenate my writing and hopefully I can come up with some good stories when I return (rather than it being like Michael Jordan going to the Wizards... ugh.) See you all soon!
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Sharks vs. Blackhawks: a Battle for My Loyalty
A couple years ago I mentioned the fact that I was going to officially change my favorite hockey team from the Blackhawks to the Sharks in order to like at least one semi-local team (San Jose is two hours away from Sacramento, so I guess that counts.)
The problem with this was, at the time, one of my main reasons for switching is because Jeremy Roenick was on the Sharks. He was my favorite hockey player growing up as he (Chris Chelios and Ed Belfor) consistently made the Blackhawks pretty good. Hey! They even went to the 1996 Stanley Cup finals (only to get swept by the Penguins.) Not to mention that their team on NHL '94 for Super Nintendo was off the hook! As you can tell, I still have a loyalty to the Blackhawks (plus their logos are sweet!)
So, I now have these two teams facing off in the Western Conference Finals. I was tempted to let this play out a few different ways:
- I sit back and claim that my favorite team is whoever wins the series. It's a cheap bandwagon-jumping strategy, but one with little risk that allows me to have my "favorite" team in the Stanley Cup finals.
- I allow this to be a competition for my favorite team. This is similar to the first option, except I vow to swear undying loyalty to the winner of the series. From this day forward, I would only allow myself like the winner of this series. It adds intrigue for me, as I would be bound to this team for the rest of my life, but I'm also taking any choice away from me.
- I simply pick before the series even starts and roll with that team through thick and thin. This is a great idea, but I truly am not as familiar with all the players these days so it's a harder proposition than one would think initially.
I hear this is supposed to be a great series, so that's a good thing, but now that I've confused myself as to who my favorite team is, I don't really know what to do. I'm sure someone can come up with a creative idea as to how I should root, so let me know.
The problem with this was, at the time, one of my main reasons for switching is because Jeremy Roenick was on the Sharks. He was my favorite hockey player growing up as he (Chris Chelios and Ed Belfor) consistently made the Blackhawks pretty good. Hey! They even went to the 1996 Stanley Cup finals (only to get swept by the Penguins.) Not to mention that their team on NHL '94 for Super Nintendo was off the hook! As you can tell, I still have a loyalty to the Blackhawks (plus their logos are sweet!)
So, I now have these two teams facing off in the Western Conference Finals. I was tempted to let this play out a few different ways:
- I sit back and claim that my favorite team is whoever wins the series. It's a cheap bandwagon-jumping strategy, but one with little risk that allows me to have my "favorite" team in the Stanley Cup finals.
- I allow this to be a competition for my favorite team. This is similar to the first option, except I vow to swear undying loyalty to the winner of the series. From this day forward, I would only allow myself like the winner of this series. It adds intrigue for me, as I would be bound to this team for the rest of my life, but I'm also taking any choice away from me.
- I simply pick before the series even starts and roll with that team through thick and thin. This is a great idea, but I truly am not as familiar with all the players these days so it's a harder proposition than one would think initially.
I hear this is supposed to be a great series, so that's a good thing, but now that I've confused myself as to who my favorite team is, I don't really know what to do. I'm sure someone can come up with a creative idea as to how I should root, so let me know.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
LOST: Across The Sea
I'll be honest, this episode should be awesome. I'm fully aware that there will be few or no series regulars in this episode (it's a flashback of Jacob and the Man In Black's history.) Hopefully this illuminates many of the island's mysteries. I can't wait any longer!
- It starts with debris in the ocean. A woman finds a piece of floating wood and washes ashore on the island. She's with child, in red, and still very bone-able. Ha!
- She's struggling and finds a stream of water. She sees Allison Janey in the water- what is she doing away from the "West Wing?" Oh, right. That series is over also.
- The woman in red is named Claudia. Magically, Allison Janey and Claudia start magically talking in English (after speaking in Latin.)
- Allison says, "Every question I answer will simply lead to another question." How true that is for the viewers of the Godforsaken and awesome show.
- Lady in red... is birthing a child. (Sung to the tune of the famed song by Chris DeBurgh.)
- His name is Jacob... and now here comes another one... Baby In Black?
- She only picked one name? How uncreative of you, Claudia.
- Allison Janey just killed Claudia! With a rock to the dome! She's stealing babies and dropping bombs!
- Back to the beach, there's a weird thing in the sand. It looks like it is a game with black and white stones. The two boys are going to play, but they can't tell their mom (Allison Janey.)
- I guess child theft goes way back on this island.
- Allison guilts Jacob into telling her what they were doing on the beach. Now she's out talking to Boy In Black. She calls him "Special" and tells him he'll never have to worry about dying.
- Now the boys are chasing a boar, but some hunters take it down. Who the hell are these guys? They look like Tom Cruise from the "Last Samurai."
- "We are here for a reason." Start 'splaining! Of course she dodges the question, blind folds them, and recites the same speech that the MIB tells Jacob on the beach. Little Zac Efron is curious!
- She's made it so they can never hurt each other. Then she takes them to the Golden Shower Cave which seems to be awfully important.
- One of them will have to protect the light. Is that why MIB has been called a security system? Interesting...
- Now they are playing the game... Jacob is making up rules... and now MIB is seeing the ghost of his biological mom. Weird.
- MIB can see dead people? Even more interesting. She wants him to follow her across the island.
- She shows him a civilization on the beach. She tells him that he is from across the sea as well. Oh, and mentions the small little detail that she's his mother.
- The boys bounce in the night. Boy In Black explains to Jacob that Allison is not her mother. Jacob responds by giving him a "Christmas Story" style beating.
- Boy In Black wants to leave the island. It seems like his only goal. I don't know what to make of this just yet, but it seems like this goal has continued through the entire show.
- Jacob and his "mom" are on the beach. She tells him the truth that he killed their mother. Jacob questions why she loves his twin more than him. She dodges the question again by saying she loves them in different ways. She's right at home on this island.
- Jacob stays with Allison and learns the fine art of looming.
- Jacob senses unrest in his mother. I mean, I guess that makes sense.
- Jacob goes to visit MIB and they play the rock game. MIB doesn't like the other people, but they are a means to an end- he wants off, and the magnetic well proves it!
- They dig at all the magnetic spots on the island- and I guess they found something... the Donkey Wheel?
- Allison is spooked at the news that MIB is leaving the island. She means to stop him.
- It looks like they are down in the Orchid well. Allison is confronting MIB.
- MIB is lashing out at his mother- and now he's going to continue working on building the Donkey Wheel.
- I think she's going to curse him... she's hugging him now... she's like she's cursing him into the Smoke Monster... or just slamming his head against the bricks. That works too, I guess. Allison Janey is playing one crazy broad. Who the hell is going to install the Donkey Wheel? Someone call maintenance!
- Jacob is catching up on beauty rest, but his "mother" wakes him. Now they are going back to the cave with the life. The source, heart of the island. Could you be any more vague?
- She makes him promise to not go down there. It would be worse than dying. Now she's pouring him a drink from metaphorical wine.
- He doesn't really have a choice? You always have a choice. Well, he's drinking it now. Now they are the same? This lady makes no damn sense! I guess Jacob becomes the island's protector right then and there.
- MIB is still alive and out of the well. He sees smoke and runs toward it. The camp is burned down and everyone seems to be dead. MIB is freaking out, though I'm fairly certain anger isn't going to make him turn into smoke.
- Now Jacob and mother are walking through the jungle. Allison seems to know that she's a goner. Jacob is going back home. Did she travel to the caves? Looks quite similar.
- Ah, and there are the white and black stones. MIB stakes her like a vampire! Sweet!
- No idea what she gasped- did she just call him "Jose?" She thanks him and dies. Jacob finds MIB and gives him another face pounding.
- Jacob brings MIB back to the holy light cave- throws him down it and poof! The Smoke Monster is born! Mystery solved!
- He finds MIB's body and is sad. He takes the body back to the caves and places it with their mother. Adam and Eve! BAM! Mystery solved! Keep knocking them down LOST!
- They show a cut scene from Season 1 where Jack finds the rocks and the Adam and Eve skeletons.
- I'm pretty sure they omitted the part where Jack hypothesizes that Adam and Eve are only 50 years old, but hey whatever- it's not like that is important [sarcasm.]
Overall, I liked the explanations of a lot of the stuff. However, after watching the whole thing, I see what the producers were saying about only answering questions that are important to our characters. I'm definitely more interested the normal heroes rather than Jacob and his family grudges. It seems like Jacob won't let MIB leave because he realizes he created a monster. I can't wait to see what happens next week. Time is short, and I'm worried because I'm fairly certain they don't have LOST methadone clinics.
- It starts with debris in the ocean. A woman finds a piece of floating wood and washes ashore on the island. She's with child, in red, and still very bone-able. Ha!
- She's struggling and finds a stream of water. She sees Allison Janey in the water- what is she doing away from the "West Wing?" Oh, right. That series is over also.
- The woman in red is named Claudia. Magically, Allison Janey and Claudia start magically talking in English (after speaking in Latin.)
- Allison says, "Every question I answer will simply lead to another question." How true that is for the viewers of the Godforsaken and awesome show.
- Lady in red... is birthing a child. (Sung to the tune of the famed song by Chris DeBurgh.)
- His name is Jacob... and now here comes another one... Baby In Black?
- She only picked one name? How uncreative of you, Claudia.
- Allison Janey just killed Claudia! With a rock to the dome! She's stealing babies and dropping bombs!
- Back to the beach, there's a weird thing in the sand. It looks like it is a game with black and white stones. The two boys are going to play, but they can't tell their mom (Allison Janey.)
- I guess child theft goes way back on this island.
- Allison guilts Jacob into telling her what they were doing on the beach. Now she's out talking to Boy In Black. She calls him "Special" and tells him he'll never have to worry about dying.
- Now the boys are chasing a boar, but some hunters take it down. Who the hell are these guys? They look like Tom Cruise from the "Last Samurai."
- "We are here for a reason." Start 'splaining! Of course she dodges the question, blind folds them, and recites the same speech that the MIB tells Jacob on the beach. Little Zac Efron is curious!
- She's made it so they can never hurt each other. Then she takes them to the Golden Shower Cave which seems to be awfully important.
- One of them will have to protect the light. Is that why MIB has been called a security system? Interesting...
- Now they are playing the game... Jacob is making up rules... and now MIB is seeing the ghost of his biological mom. Weird.
- MIB can see dead people? Even more interesting. She wants him to follow her across the island.
- She shows him a civilization on the beach. She tells him that he is from across the sea as well. Oh, and mentions the small little detail that she's his mother.
- The boys bounce in the night. Boy In Black explains to Jacob that Allison is not her mother. Jacob responds by giving him a "Christmas Story" style beating.
- Boy In Black wants to leave the island. It seems like his only goal. I don't know what to make of this just yet, but it seems like this goal has continued through the entire show.
- Jacob and his "mom" are on the beach. She tells him the truth that he killed their mother. Jacob questions why she loves his twin more than him. She dodges the question again by saying she loves them in different ways. She's right at home on this island.
- Jacob stays with Allison and learns the fine art of looming.
- Jacob senses unrest in his mother. I mean, I guess that makes sense.
- Jacob goes to visit MIB and they play the rock game. MIB doesn't like the other people, but they are a means to an end- he wants off, and the magnetic well proves it!
- They dig at all the magnetic spots on the island- and I guess they found something... the Donkey Wheel?
- Allison is spooked at the news that MIB is leaving the island. She means to stop him.
- It looks like they are down in the Orchid well. Allison is confronting MIB.
- MIB is lashing out at his mother- and now he's going to continue working on building the Donkey Wheel.
- I think she's going to curse him... she's hugging him now... she's like she's cursing him into the Smoke Monster... or just slamming his head against the bricks. That works too, I guess. Allison Janey is playing one crazy broad. Who the hell is going to install the Donkey Wheel? Someone call maintenance!
- Jacob is catching up on beauty rest, but his "mother" wakes him. Now they are going back to the cave with the life. The source, heart of the island. Could you be any more vague?
- She makes him promise to not go down there. It would be worse than dying. Now she's pouring him a drink from metaphorical wine.
- He doesn't really have a choice? You always have a choice. Well, he's drinking it now. Now they are the same? This lady makes no damn sense! I guess Jacob becomes the island's protector right then and there.
- MIB is still alive and out of the well. He sees smoke and runs toward it. The camp is burned down and everyone seems to be dead. MIB is freaking out, though I'm fairly certain anger isn't going to make him turn into smoke.
- Now Jacob and mother are walking through the jungle. Allison seems to know that she's a goner. Jacob is going back home. Did she travel to the caves? Looks quite similar.
- Ah, and there are the white and black stones. MIB stakes her like a vampire! Sweet!
- No idea what she gasped- did she just call him "Jose?" She thanks him and dies. Jacob finds MIB and gives him another face pounding.
- Jacob brings MIB back to the holy light cave- throws him down it and poof! The Smoke Monster is born! Mystery solved!
- He finds MIB's body and is sad. He takes the body back to the caves and places it with their mother. Adam and Eve! BAM! Mystery solved! Keep knocking them down LOST!
- They show a cut scene from Season 1 where Jack finds the rocks and the Adam and Eve skeletons.
- I'm pretty sure they omitted the part where Jack hypothesizes that Adam and Eve are only 50 years old, but hey whatever- it's not like that is important [sarcasm.]
Overall, I liked the explanations of a lot of the stuff. However, after watching the whole thing, I see what the producers were saying about only answering questions that are important to our characters. I'm definitely more interested the normal heroes rather than Jacob and his family grudges. It seems like Jacob won't let MIB leave because he realizes he created a monster. I can't wait to see what happens next week. Time is short, and I'm worried because I'm fairly certain they don't have LOST methadone clinics.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Rojo Johnson's MInor League Debut
I'm sure many of you have seen this already, but just to make sure, here is the highly touted native Texan who was raised in Venezuela (and was recently in lots of trouble for illegal lizard trafficking)- Rojo Johnson:
Yeah, I know it's awesome.
Yeah, I know it's awesome.
Monday, May 10, 2010
A Case of the Mondays
This was quite a busy weekend! In fact, it was so busy, I'm pretty concerned about my health (unsure if the weekend had anything to do with it, but I am concerned.) As I don't know exactly what's wrong, I'm not going to get into specifics and we'll forgo any sympathy at the moment. Just understand if my posts are subpar (are they subpar usually?) then give me a pass.
Friday night was filled with a whole lot of nothing because a) I was tired from only getting 4 hours of sleep the night before and b) I had to wake up and be in Vacaville by 8:30am to play at the Farmer's Market. Upon waking up, I knew Saturday was going to be a difficult day. I played 8:30-10am in Vacaville, then I played from 7pm-11pm in Walnut Creek at the Pyramid Alehouse. I played alright at both but neither were my finest displays of musicianship. The one good thing is that I broke out a few new cover songs at each show which at least keeps things fresh.
At the end of my Pyramid Show I was beyond spent. The weather turned cold and after playing for 4 hours it was time to pack up. There was a group inside the restaurant that wanted me to come in and play "one more song." I tried to say no, but I ended up doing it because the girl asking is a hostess at the restaurant (though she had the night off) and to be honest, she said they were going to tip me (which they did, and I highly appreciate that.)
So I brought my guitar inside and played "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey. It seemed like their group enjoyed it a lot. Mrs. B. went inside and was watching with a couple of our friends from a table a little farther away from where I was playing. After I was done, one of the girls from the group came up and said I did great and that "I kinda want to do you."
First off, "kinda?" Make your stance one way or the other! Secondly (but most importantly), this is quite awkward when my wife is standing a mere 12 feet away. One of my biggest issues as a musician, is getting people either too interested (i.e. hitting on me) or not getting people interested enough. Finding that perfect balance has alluded me. I'm obviously not going to cheat on my wife (though she's given me the go ahead if it's an "Indecent Proposal for $10 million or more.) So in this scenario, I just played dumb pretty much ignoring the statement, then thanked everyone at the table for listening and hanging out. I left business cards, got Mrs. B., and we went on our merry way back to Sacramento. I wanted to not kill the positive vibe that was just put out there by me playing a song for their table, but at the same time, I wasn't going to acknowledge the offer. Feel free to tell me what I "should have done" in the comments.
Sunday, we went to Mrs. B.'s mom's house for Mother's Day and this is where I found out that my brother-in-law is a sorcerer. He claims that he's "never had a bad Craps roll," that he's "turned $20 into $320 in 15 minutes," and that "he'll always hit the hard 6 (double 3's) because 3 is his lucky number and 6 was his baseball number." I'm shocked that he isn't a professional Yahtzee player or possibly just wins millions of dollars off Craps tables all the time. With odds like that, it's barely even gambling!
I slept most of the rest of the day, which is great because I would have hated watching AJ Burnett getting lit up by the Red Sox when a good start from him could've won me this week in Fantasy Baseball (my team scored almost 300 points and lost, that is not fun.) Oh, and Dallas Braden is quite the competitor with his perfect game, but his interviews are pompous and I'm tired of them. Anybody with me on that?
There's my weekend in a nutshell. I know, not the most exciting stuff ever, but hey- every weekend can't be a winner!
Friday night was filled with a whole lot of nothing because a) I was tired from only getting 4 hours of sleep the night before and b) I had to wake up and be in Vacaville by 8:30am to play at the Farmer's Market. Upon waking up, I knew Saturday was going to be a difficult day. I played 8:30-10am in Vacaville, then I played from 7pm-11pm in Walnut Creek at the Pyramid Alehouse. I played alright at both but neither were my finest displays of musicianship. The one good thing is that I broke out a few new cover songs at each show which at least keeps things fresh.
At the end of my Pyramid Show I was beyond spent. The weather turned cold and after playing for 4 hours it was time to pack up. There was a group inside the restaurant that wanted me to come in and play "one more song." I tried to say no, but I ended up doing it because the girl asking is a hostess at the restaurant (though she had the night off) and to be honest, she said they were going to tip me (which they did, and I highly appreciate that.)
So I brought my guitar inside and played "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey. It seemed like their group enjoyed it a lot. Mrs. B. went inside and was watching with a couple of our friends from a table a little farther away from where I was playing. After I was done, one of the girls from the group came up and said I did great and that "I kinda want to do you."
First off, "kinda?" Make your stance one way or the other! Secondly (but most importantly), this is quite awkward when my wife is standing a mere 12 feet away. One of my biggest issues as a musician, is getting people either too interested (i.e. hitting on me) or not getting people interested enough. Finding that perfect balance has alluded me. I'm obviously not going to cheat on my wife (though she's given me the go ahead if it's an "Indecent Proposal for $10 million or more.) So in this scenario, I just played dumb pretty much ignoring the statement, then thanked everyone at the table for listening and hanging out. I left business cards, got Mrs. B., and we went on our merry way back to Sacramento. I wanted to not kill the positive vibe that was just put out there by me playing a song for their table, but at the same time, I wasn't going to acknowledge the offer. Feel free to tell me what I "should have done" in the comments.
Sunday, we went to Mrs. B.'s mom's house for Mother's Day and this is where I found out that my brother-in-law is a sorcerer. He claims that he's "never had a bad Craps roll," that he's "turned $20 into $320 in 15 minutes," and that "he'll always hit the hard 6 (double 3's) because 3 is his lucky number and 6 was his baseball number." I'm shocked that he isn't a professional Yahtzee player or possibly just wins millions of dollars off Craps tables all the time. With odds like that, it's barely even gambling!
I slept most of the rest of the day, which is great because I would have hated watching AJ Burnett getting lit up by the Red Sox when a good start from him could've won me this week in Fantasy Baseball (my team scored almost 300 points and lost, that is not fun.) Oh, and Dallas Braden is quite the competitor with his perfect game, but his interviews are pompous and I'm tired of them. Anybody with me on that?
There's my weekend in a nutshell. I know, not the most exciting stuff ever, but hey- every weekend can't be a winner!
Friday, May 7, 2010
I Should Just Stop...
... even posting anything on Fridays! I had a show last night which went pretty well (besides when I bashed my head into a speaker hanging from the ceiling while getting off stage- that sucked.) I literally don't have time to say anything about LT raping a 16 year old (unbelievable) or the Cubs getting swept by the Pirates (believable.)
I'm actually feeling a little woozy, so that's going to be it for me. Get through the day and have a great weekend. Saturday (tomorrow), I'll be at the Farmer's Market in Vacaville at 8:30am and at the Pyramid Alehouse in Walnut Creek at 7pm.
I'm actually feeling a little woozy, so that's going to be it for me. Get through the day and have a great weekend. Saturday (tomorrow), I'll be at the Farmer's Market in Vacaville at 8:30am and at the Pyramid Alehouse in Walnut Creek at 7pm.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Thank You Cards
I must admit, the thought of Jimmy Fallon hosting a late night TV show seemed to be about as good of an idea as hanging for three hours in a room with children that are contagious with the swine flu. However, I will say that I've watched the show, and to be honest, it is a lot better than I expected. One skit they do is where Jimmy writes out thank you notes to random people, groups, celebrities, etc. Today, adding to my own series of thank you notes:
Dear Monte Bleu Casino in Tahoe,
Upon thinking about your Craps tables, I'm pretty sure the x5 rules at your table swings the advantage to the players (though I suppose any cold table will end up making the house money.) With odds like that, you may never be able to officially transition your casino away from the old Caesar's look to the new... uh... whatever it is you think you have going on.
Sincerely,
Tony B.
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Dear Mexican Food,
Thank you for never allowing me to go on a diet. Every time I even contemplate eating healthy on a consistent basis, a little voice pops in my head and shakes sense into me. "You won't be able to eat burritos!!! Don't do it!" The voice is right. I couldn't do that.
Defeated,
Tony B.
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Dear Seattle Mariners,
Thank you for allowing me to chuckle at your issues with Milton Bradley. He definitely is the anchor of any team- if by anchor we're talking about something pulling your team/ship down to the bottom of the ocean. Thank you for taking him off the Cubs' hands.
Relieved,
Tony B.
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Dear Zack Attack,
Thank you for singing your two hit songs "Did We Ever Have A Chance?" and "Friends Forever" during an episode of Saved By The Bell. Even though you employed the cheap "it was all a dream" ending, I enjoyed seeing the highs and lows of the band, the fact that Casey Kasem narrated every scene, and the fact that Jessie was inexplicably not in the band. Keep on rockin' that fake instrument playing (besides Slater, I think he can actually play the drums.)
Forever,
Tony B.
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Dear Guy Who Got Tased at the Phillies Game,
Thank you for running out on the field despite the fact that you called your dad, asked him if it was a good idea, your dad told you it wasn't, and you did it anyway! You explained that it was a "once in a lifetime opportunity." Sure it is- if this is the only sporting event you'll ever go to in your entire life. You will always have the opportunity at any large event but you should also have the sense to not do it. However, since you did, I've enjoyed watching the video where you go down over and over.
Nice work,
Tony B.
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Late addition!
Dear Lawrence Taylor,
I will thank you to never be allowed out of prison. Your drug problems and horrible video games were one thing, you raping someone is completely different. For a guy on the defensive side of the ball, your actions are beyond offensive this time. I hope your cracked out ass goes to jail for a long time.
Enjoy getting caught with weight- cli-clank-clank,
Tony B.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
LOST: The Candidate
I'm not even sure what to think for this episode. With only 5 total hours left, expectations are rising at an intense rate. The other factor is that with the week off last week, fans are chomping at the bit to watch the next episode. If I recall correctly, Sawyer and crew got captured by Widmore's army, Jack was blown off his feet by a missile, and the Man In Black picked Jack up in a fireman carry then cryptically said, "It's ok, you're with me now." Creepy. Let's get to it:
- It starts in the alternate timeline with Jack talking to Locke as he just came out of surgery. Jack explains that he's been run down by a clairvoyant Scottsman. Jack says he thinks Locke is a "candidate." Jack wants to fix Locke.
- Locke refuses for no particular reason. By the way, Locke's dural sac was the issue. That was the issue when Jack had to fix that girl (the story he told Kate in the Pilot episode.)
- Sawyer steals a gun, then gives it up because Widmore threatens Kate. Sawyer gets predictably hit in the stomach/groin after he gives the gun back to Seamus.
- Widmore is in a hurry- like a college student cramming for a midterm.
- Jack goes over the Bernard's office looking for Locke's medical records. Instead he gets two things. 1) The realization that he was also on Oceanic 815 and 2) the name "Anthony Cooper."
- Sayid and Jack are talking at the outrigger boat. They are already on Hydra island. Locke seems to be making all kinds of plans, and Jack doesn't want to leave the island. It's still such a weird reversal to see Jack not wanting to leave the island.
- FLocke can kill everyone? Riiiight. I have a feeling there are rules against that shiznit.
- Sawyer admits that Kate's name was crossed out. How did she get disqualified from being a candidate without dying?
- Sun and Jin share a well deserved moment. She gives him his ring back.
- The power goes off, and it's on like Donkey Kong. Smokey is going to tear this camp up!
- Smokey slams Seamus up against the cage- Jack rescues everyone, and says, "I'm with him." Kate looks like she just got Cleveland Steamered.
- Jack is now taking everyone through the jungle. Jack is trying to get everyone rescued but he says he wants to stay on the island.
- Sayid turned off the generators but he still speaks in monotone. Can't be good.
- Jack tries to find Anthony Cooper and runs into Helen. She tells him to leave it alone- he, in true Jack fashion, can't let it go.
- Anthony Cooper is pretty much catatonic. Maybe in this timeline, Locke caused AC to be in much worse shape.
- FLocke is at the plane and kills two men with ease. It seems as if the plane is rigged with explosives. We'll see if those come into play later...
- FLocke admits to breaking the random guy's neck. and then shows them the bricks of C4. Their new plan is to get on the submarine.
- Sawyer tells Jack to "get IT in the water, and I'll take care of the rest." Interesting plan, James.
- Jack is back in Locke's hospital room. He's sleeping and saying such classics as "push the button" and "I wish you would've believed me."
- Claire is at the hospital to talk to Jack. She has a box that Christian wanted her to have. Now Jack is explaining that their father died the same way as in the main timeline. They realize they were in the same plane and they look into a mirror together. Mirrors have been quite significant this season.
- Ok, now everyone is looking to get on the sub. Sawyer is barking orders and Jack and FLocke stay behind. Why doesn't FLocke just jack everyone up in smoke form? It doesn't make sense.
- Inside the sub, Sawyer finds a guy who likes like an indie rock singer.
- Now they find the sub captain... oh snap! FLocke switched the backpacks!!!
- Jack quotes John Locke then throws MIB in the water- he looks MAD. And bullets continue to bounce off him though.
- FLocke tells Claire she doesn't want to be on the sub... this is not good! PS: Kate was shot.
- The action is going so fast right now. Jack finds the C4 and they realize that they did exactly what he wanted. Damn. The pit of my stomach just dropped. Luckily the C4 has almost 4 minutes left...
- Another Jack (Bauer) would be proud of this situation. A bomb in a confined area and a timer! WWJBD?
- Jack gets in a heated exchange with Sawyer, then Sawyer pulls the wires. It makes the bomb go faster (btw, Sayid is talking normally? Crazy.) Sayid kills himself by taking the bomb to the other end of the sub. Water is filling up the sub like it's Titanic. The sub is sinking and people are dying. This is INTENSE.
- Sun is trapped and it looks like she's going to drown. Sawyer hits his head and Jack needs to save him. Jin is staying with Sun.
- Oh my God. Jin can't get Sun out and he's not leaving. This is one of the best/worst/most emotional moments ever on the show.
- Piano theme, and it pans to Sun and Jin's hands holding limply, then releasing as they have drowned.
- During the commercial, I'm wondering, did Lapidus die as well? I think he did.
- Hey! There's Jin in the alternate timeline. Locke is leaving the hospital, but runs into Jack.
- Locke was in a plane crash. He piloted the plane, and Anthony Cooper was his first passenger. Talk about irony. This might as well be an Alanis Morrisette video. She's nasty by the way.
- Jack gives Locke a "faithful" pep-talk.
- Locke laughs it off and starts to leave. Jack says, "I wish you'd believe me." That seems to spring some memory to Locke, but he leaves anyway.
- Hurley got Kate up to the surface- damn nice work!
- Sawyer coughs and Jack thanks Jacob that he doesn't have to do mouth to mouth.
- Jack gives them the bad news about Sun and Jin, and Hurley starts crying. Now Jack is also crying. What do they do now?
- Back to MIB. He knows not all of them are dead- and he's going to finish what he started. Please don't end, please don't end... damn. It ended.
That was a fine episode. It was so fast that it was hard to blog about it. Sayid, Lapidus, Sun and Jin are all dead. Looks like Jack, Sawyer, Kate, and Hurley are the last hope. Well, I guess Claire, but she's bat-shit crazy. I can't wait for next week.
Side Note: The more I think about it, Widmore had to have been in on the whole thing with MIB. Seriously. Hell, he's the one who sent Locke back to the island in the first place. He wanted Ben to kill Jacob so Ben would feel stupid, and he wanted to make everyone think that he was coming to get MIB and destroy him. Widmore doesn't need the sub or the plane because he doesn't plan on leaving. Have fun living with Jack Shepherd on the island for another 10,000 years.
CORRECTION: I just read that they Expanded the finale, so Sunday, May 23rd's episode will be 2.5 hours! Awwww yeah!
- It starts in the alternate timeline with Jack talking to Locke as he just came out of surgery. Jack explains that he's been run down by a clairvoyant Scottsman. Jack says he thinks Locke is a "candidate." Jack wants to fix Locke.
- Locke refuses for no particular reason. By the way, Locke's dural sac was the issue. That was the issue when Jack had to fix that girl (the story he told Kate in the Pilot episode.)
- Sawyer steals a gun, then gives it up because Widmore threatens Kate. Sawyer gets predictably hit in the stomach/groin after he gives the gun back to Seamus.
- Widmore is in a hurry- like a college student cramming for a midterm.
- Jack goes over the Bernard's office looking for Locke's medical records. Instead he gets two things. 1) The realization that he was also on Oceanic 815 and 2) the name "Anthony Cooper."
- Sayid and Jack are talking at the outrigger boat. They are already on Hydra island. Locke seems to be making all kinds of plans, and Jack doesn't want to leave the island. It's still such a weird reversal to see Jack not wanting to leave the island.
- FLocke can kill everyone? Riiiight. I have a feeling there are rules against that shiznit.
- Sawyer admits that Kate's name was crossed out. How did she get disqualified from being a candidate without dying?
- Sun and Jin share a well deserved moment. She gives him his ring back.
- The power goes off, and it's on like Donkey Kong. Smokey is going to tear this camp up!
- Smokey slams Seamus up against the cage- Jack rescues everyone, and says, "I'm with him." Kate looks like she just got Cleveland Steamered.
- Jack is now taking everyone through the jungle. Jack is trying to get everyone rescued but he says he wants to stay on the island.
- Sayid turned off the generators but he still speaks in monotone. Can't be good.
- Jack tries to find Anthony Cooper and runs into Helen. She tells him to leave it alone- he, in true Jack fashion, can't let it go.
- Anthony Cooper is pretty much catatonic. Maybe in this timeline, Locke caused AC to be in much worse shape.
- FLocke is at the plane and kills two men with ease. It seems as if the plane is rigged with explosives. We'll see if those come into play later...
- FLocke admits to breaking the random guy's neck. and then shows them the bricks of C4. Their new plan is to get on the submarine.
- Sawyer tells Jack to "get IT in the water, and I'll take care of the rest." Interesting plan, James.
- Jack is back in Locke's hospital room. He's sleeping and saying such classics as "push the button" and "I wish you would've believed me."
- Claire is at the hospital to talk to Jack. She has a box that Christian wanted her to have. Now Jack is explaining that their father died the same way as in the main timeline. They realize they were in the same plane and they look into a mirror together. Mirrors have been quite significant this season.
- Ok, now everyone is looking to get on the sub. Sawyer is barking orders and Jack and FLocke stay behind. Why doesn't FLocke just jack everyone up in smoke form? It doesn't make sense.
- Inside the sub, Sawyer finds a guy who likes like an indie rock singer.
- Now they find the sub captain... oh snap! FLocke switched the backpacks!!!
- Jack quotes John Locke then throws MIB in the water- he looks MAD. And bullets continue to bounce off him though.
- FLocke tells Claire she doesn't want to be on the sub... this is not good! PS: Kate was shot.
- The action is going so fast right now. Jack finds the C4 and they realize that they did exactly what he wanted. Damn. The pit of my stomach just dropped. Luckily the C4 has almost 4 minutes left...
- Another Jack (Bauer) would be proud of this situation. A bomb in a confined area and a timer! WWJBD?
- Jack gets in a heated exchange with Sawyer, then Sawyer pulls the wires. It makes the bomb go faster (btw, Sayid is talking normally? Crazy.) Sayid kills himself by taking the bomb to the other end of the sub. Water is filling up the sub like it's Titanic. The sub is sinking and people are dying. This is INTENSE.
- Sun is trapped and it looks like she's going to drown. Sawyer hits his head and Jack needs to save him. Jin is staying with Sun.
- Oh my God. Jin can't get Sun out and he's not leaving. This is one of the best/worst/most emotional moments ever on the show.
- Piano theme, and it pans to Sun and Jin's hands holding limply, then releasing as they have drowned.
- During the commercial, I'm wondering, did Lapidus die as well? I think he did.
- Hey! There's Jin in the alternate timeline. Locke is leaving the hospital, but runs into Jack.
- Locke was in a plane crash. He piloted the plane, and Anthony Cooper was his first passenger. Talk about irony. This might as well be an Alanis Morrisette video. She's nasty by the way.
- Jack gives Locke a "faithful" pep-talk.
- Locke laughs it off and starts to leave. Jack says, "I wish you'd believe me." That seems to spring some memory to Locke, but he leaves anyway.
- Hurley got Kate up to the surface- damn nice work!
- Sawyer coughs and Jack thanks Jacob that he doesn't have to do mouth to mouth.
- Jack gives them the bad news about Sun and Jin, and Hurley starts crying. Now Jack is also crying. What do they do now?
- Back to MIB. He knows not all of them are dead- and he's going to finish what he started. Please don't end, please don't end... damn. It ended.
That was a fine episode. It was so fast that it was hard to blog about it. Sayid, Lapidus, Sun and Jin are all dead. Looks like Jack, Sawyer, Kate, and Hurley are the last hope. Well, I guess Claire, but she's bat-shit crazy. I can't wait for next week.
Side Note: The more I think about it, Widmore had to have been in on the whole thing with MIB. Seriously. Hell, he's the one who sent Locke back to the island in the first place. He wanted Ben to kill Jacob so Ben would feel stupid, and he wanted to make everyone think that he was coming to get MIB and destroy him. Widmore doesn't need the sub or the plane because he doesn't plan on leaving. Have fun living with Jack Shepherd on the island for another 10,000 years.
CORRECTION: I just read that they Expanded the finale, so Sunday, May 23rd's episode will be 2.5 hours! Awwww yeah!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Music Tuesday
I'm still catching up on sleep, so I decided to throw up some videos or audio samples of some good songs. Some might be new to you, or some might be just some songs that have been forgotten (at least I forgot about them.)
Live - Lakini's Juice - I totally forgot about this song! I think most people listen to "Throwing Copper" or maybe even just the song "Dolphin's Cry" when they're looking for a Live song, but this song is where it's at. It rocks hard!
Damnwells - Shiny Bruise - I absolutely love this song. I'm so confused about the person who put up this video (they say they hurt their back listening to this song) but it's a great song nonetheless. The beginning of second verse has a money guitar lick that almost mimics a landing jet. It's pretty awesome.
Cracker - Get Off This - Awesome band from the 90s that you may have forgotten about. Sorry for the quality of the video- I used this one specifically because it had the old MTV Premier graphic.
Meat Puppets - Backwater - Yes, these were the guys who came out and played 3 songs with Nirvana during "Unplugged in New York" but this was their biggest hit (and it's an excellent song.) The old sad clown in this video freaks me out.
Nada Surf - Popular - I mentioned this one last week, but I hadn't seen the video in years. Great song, great video, and hot cheerleaders- awesome. On second thought, I'm sure it was ok for me to think they were hot when this originally came out, but now I'm not 100% sure if it's ok. I suppose they got older like I did, right?
Live - Lakini's Juice - I totally forgot about this song! I think most people listen to "Throwing Copper" or maybe even just the song "Dolphin's Cry" when they're looking for a Live song, but this song is where it's at. It rocks hard!
Damnwells - Shiny Bruise - I absolutely love this song. I'm so confused about the person who put up this video (they say they hurt their back listening to this song) but it's a great song nonetheless. The beginning of second verse has a money guitar lick that almost mimics a landing jet. It's pretty awesome.
Cracker - Get Off This - Awesome band from the 90s that you may have forgotten about. Sorry for the quality of the video- I used this one specifically because it had the old MTV Premier graphic.
Meat Puppets - Backwater - Yes, these were the guys who came out and played 3 songs with Nirvana during "Unplugged in New York" but this was their biggest hit (and it's an excellent song.) The old sad clown in this video freaks me out.
Nada Surf - Popular - I mentioned this one last week, but I hadn't seen the video in years. Great song, great video, and hot cheerleaders- awesome. On second thought, I'm sure it was ok for me to think they were hot when this originally came out, but now I'm not 100% sure if it's ok. I suppose they got older like I did, right?
Monday, May 3, 2010
A Case of the Mondays: Tahoe Adventure
I think this post has the potential to get out of hand, so I'm going to give bullet-ed highlights of the weekend. Feel free to ask for more explanation on any particular point in the comments, and I'll see what I can do.
- Friday night I played at the Boxing Donkey in Roseville. I tried out many new songs during the night including "I Gotta Feeling," "Rich Girl," "Learn To Fly," and a few others. As usual, it's a great place to play.
- One of the cute waitresses came over and was helping to solicit tips for me during the night. I'm pretty sure it worked well for more tips and for giving out business cards with my name and website. Later when I looked through my tips, there was one of my own business cards with a lipstick kiss mark and a phone number. Looks like the "old married guy" still has some game- hi-ooooooo!
- After finishing the show (1am), I asked the bartender for two sugar-free Red Bulls, and I got on the road to drive immediately up to Tahoe. My friend/co-worker was getting married at 11am in Tahoe, so there really wasn't any point in going home to sleep, I figured it would be easier to get the two hour plus drive out of the way during the wee hours of the morning. Driving up to the mountains in the pitch dark felt like I was about to enter into a cheap B horror movie. Luckily I made it up safe and sound.
- The Red Bulls worked a little too well. By the time I found my way to the hotel bed (Mrs. B. and friends were already up there) I had a hard time actually getting to sleep. I didn't appreciate the vein in my temple beating at 150 bpm- makes it hard to fully relax.
- After a solid 4 hours of sleep, it was time to get up. I was part of the crew that was stationed to set up the reception (which was in the same hotel we were staying in. During the set up, there was a signature cocktail that was supposed to be made. My friend John got put in charge, but we had to figure out the proper ratios of all the alcohol and pineapple juice. Unfortunately, I'm fairly certain someone left a "0" off of the amount of ounces of pineapple juice. 18 oz, is MUCH different than 180 oz. We initially had a vat of pure alcohol. Then we started adding as much pineapple juice as we could. Eventually we got a the cocktail to taste acceptable, and John ended up getting a decent amount of compliments on it. After tasting the initial version of it, neither of us could get over how boozy it was (literally, it was pure alcohol) so it was almost comical that people ended up enjoying the drinks.
- We missed the ceremony because the set up took quite awhile. It was good that we helped, but after working for a few hours on everything, it was harder to get into the "party mode." It was a nice time, but I think we (the guys) were all ready to go place some sports bets and play some craps.
- My sports bets didn't pan out. I made a quick decision baseball parlay that didn't go far due to the Red Sox losing to the lowly Orioles. I didn't watch the Cavs/Celtics games, but I hear that LeBron hit a 3 pointer with 4 seconds left when the game was clearly over. If that's true, then that three actually lost me the Celtics covering the 7 point spread and it beat the under of 191. Thanks King James, you douche (unless that didn't actually happen, then I take it back.)
- We found our way over to a Craps table at the Monte Bleu casino. Things were slow going for awhile, but there was a turning point. I have NEVER seen this before, but the other side of the table was betting the "Don't Pass, Don't Come Line." Seriously. Six people going against us on the other side of the table. I immediately turned competitive. Screw these people. Not only were they betting against the table (which is technically ok, but still kind of a dick move) they were celebrating when the 7 would come and clear out the rest of the board. So disgusting. I started betting fairly large, assuming that gambling karma was coming to get them- and it was. There was some extra large celebrations on our side of the table. It worked out in the best way. (+$330).
- Also, I realized that for whatever reason, while playing Craps, I try to find a catchphrase or noise that I'll yell every time a point hits or one of my Come Bets hit. Sounds annoying, but really, if everyone's winning money (or if assholes betting against the table are losing) then usually it's all good. This time I was howling like a wolf (in anticipation of wearing my wolf shirt later in the evening.)
- After eating at the Hard Rock Cafe, it was time to drink a 20 oz. Jack and Coke and meet back up with our group. We first went back to the Monte Bleu, but decided to see what was up with the Horizon (supposedly they had karaoke.) Upon walking into the Horizon, it was immediately depressing. It was WIDE open and ONLY had slot machines. There was duct tape on the carpet where they had removed their Craps table. DEPRESSING. However, they did in fact have karaoke...
- The karaoke bar had cheap drinks and the widest song selection I've ever seen. Almost everyone in our group got up to sing. Mrs. B. crushed "Bust a Move" by Young MC which was awfully impressive. I knew she knew all the lyrics, but I don't think she'd ever sang it in public. I sang "Rich Girl" by Hall & Oates (yeah, I know- it's an underrated song) which went over well. Our friend Mary sang "I Love Rock and Roll." John sang "Possum Kingdom" by the Toadies. And finally, my boss Lina and our former co-worker/friend Jen sang "I Will Survive" together. I gots to be honest, our group held it down at karaoke.
- Ironically, the group that was betting against us in Craps earlier in the day, showed up and sat next to us in the karaoke bar. I wanted to fight all of them, but instead, we left to play some more Craps... this time at Harrah's.
- Harrah's only had $10 minimum Craps tables. At the beginning, I could feel our groups' balls shrink up since we were used to playing on $5 tables. I had mentioned earlier the South Park where Randy gives himself testicular cancer in order to legally get weed. His balls were huge! The second he gets the news from the doctor, he puts his huge set up balls in a wheelbarrow and sings "Buffalo Soldier" on the way marijuana shop. I was encouraging our group to have bigger balls, so my catchphrase this time was the first part of "Buffalo Soldier." It worked awfully well as we all won money at this table. On top of that, the table was a lot of fun as everyone was boisterous and friendly. Such a great time! (+$265.)
- After dominating another Craps table, our entire group got more drinks over near the entrance to Vex (the club in Harrah's.) There was some guy with a keyboard and two iPods playing dance songs so all the girls went to the area in front of the stage to dance. At some point, Mrs. B. came back over and a guy right behind me started talking to her (obviously not paying attention to the situation, her ring, the fact that he would have no chance with her even if I didn't exist- ya know those kind of things.) It was pretty funny, but I was drunk, bored, and I had just won lots of money so I had a swagger that was bordering on douche-baggary. Here is what I said to the guy after not hearing what exactly he had just said to Mrs. B.:
"Hey man, you can stop talking to my wife."
"What? I was just giving her a compliment."
"I'm sure you were, and I'm telling you you can stop."
"Dude, it's not what you think- I was just giving her a nice compliment. I have a girlfriend, too."
(This was my favorite comment) [Sarcastically] "Yeah, I'm suuuure you do- and I bet she's reeeeally hot. Why don't you sit down." (I was calmly sitting down, and he was standing a foot or two to my left.)
"I didn't mean anything by it." (He leans over and touches my shoulder.)
"Don't touch me, and why don't you sit down."
(At this point he's becoming more agitated.)
"I don't feel like sitting- I'll just stand."
"Good for you, buddy. Stand all you want, just don't touch me." (Now his group of friends are trying to get the situation to ease up. It seems like it was his friend's birthday.)
I tell his friend that everything is fine, just to tell his friend to stop touching me and it'll be fine. Eventually, he and all his friends left (probably a minute or two after the whole confrontation.) The crazy thing was that I was so drunk that I was beyond calm during the whole exchange, didn't take into account that we were outnumbered by 3 to 8, my boss was down on the other end of the table, and realistically, did he even say anything wrong to Mrs. B.? Speaking of which... here is what he said.
"Hey girl, are you going back up to dance? I'd really like to watch you some more."
After hearing this, I was happy to have given him a hard time. He deserved it. That's less compliment and more creepy weird guy. My friend John (who is a police officer) was a little mad that I started shit, but in the end he admitted that he would've had my back had things gone wrong. At no point did I really think we were going to fight, but I guess ya never know.
Eventually, the night ended at 4am in completely successful fashion. I was including a random video poker win, some sports bets lost, and Craps I was up $570 for the weekend. Not bad, eh? No fights, lots of drinks, no vomiting, good karaoke, Big Ben didn't rape anyone and I in fact did wear the wolf shirt around during the second Craps session making the whole exchange with the creeper even funnier- he backed down to a guy in a wolf shirt!
So there you go- another successful trip in the books!
- Friday night I played at the Boxing Donkey in Roseville. I tried out many new songs during the night including "I Gotta Feeling," "Rich Girl," "Learn To Fly," and a few others. As usual, it's a great place to play.
- One of the cute waitresses came over and was helping to solicit tips for me during the night. I'm pretty sure it worked well for more tips and for giving out business cards with my name and website. Later when I looked through my tips, there was one of my own business cards with a lipstick kiss mark and a phone number. Looks like the "old married guy" still has some game- hi-ooooooo!
- After finishing the show (1am), I asked the bartender for two sugar-free Red Bulls, and I got on the road to drive immediately up to Tahoe. My friend/co-worker was getting married at 11am in Tahoe, so there really wasn't any point in going home to sleep, I figured it would be easier to get the two hour plus drive out of the way during the wee hours of the morning. Driving up to the mountains in the pitch dark felt like I was about to enter into a cheap B horror movie. Luckily I made it up safe and sound.
- The Red Bulls worked a little too well. By the time I found my way to the hotel bed (Mrs. B. and friends were already up there) I had a hard time actually getting to sleep. I didn't appreciate the vein in my temple beating at 150 bpm- makes it hard to fully relax.
- After a solid 4 hours of sleep, it was time to get up. I was part of the crew that was stationed to set up the reception (which was in the same hotel we were staying in. During the set up, there was a signature cocktail that was supposed to be made. My friend John got put in charge, but we had to figure out the proper ratios of all the alcohol and pineapple juice. Unfortunately, I'm fairly certain someone left a "0" off of the amount of ounces of pineapple juice. 18 oz, is MUCH different than 180 oz. We initially had a vat of pure alcohol. Then we started adding as much pineapple juice as we could. Eventually we got a the cocktail to taste acceptable, and John ended up getting a decent amount of compliments on it. After tasting the initial version of it, neither of us could get over how boozy it was (literally, it was pure alcohol) so it was almost comical that people ended up enjoying the drinks.
- We missed the ceremony because the set up took quite awhile. It was good that we helped, but after working for a few hours on everything, it was harder to get into the "party mode." It was a nice time, but I think we (the guys) were all ready to go place some sports bets and play some craps.
- My sports bets didn't pan out. I made a quick decision baseball parlay that didn't go far due to the Red Sox losing to the lowly Orioles. I didn't watch the Cavs/Celtics games, but I hear that LeBron hit a 3 pointer with 4 seconds left when the game was clearly over. If that's true, then that three actually lost me the Celtics covering the 7 point spread and it beat the under of 191. Thanks King James, you douche (unless that didn't actually happen, then I take it back.)
- We found our way over to a Craps table at the Monte Bleu casino. Things were slow going for awhile, but there was a turning point. I have NEVER seen this before, but the other side of the table was betting the "Don't Pass, Don't Come Line." Seriously. Six people going against us on the other side of the table. I immediately turned competitive. Screw these people. Not only were they betting against the table (which is technically ok, but still kind of a dick move) they were celebrating when the 7 would come and clear out the rest of the board. So disgusting. I started betting fairly large, assuming that gambling karma was coming to get them- and it was. There was some extra large celebrations on our side of the table. It worked out in the best way. (+$330).
- Also, I realized that for whatever reason, while playing Craps, I try to find a catchphrase or noise that I'll yell every time a point hits or one of my Come Bets hit. Sounds annoying, but really, if everyone's winning money (or if assholes betting against the table are losing) then usually it's all good. This time I was howling like a wolf (in anticipation of wearing my wolf shirt later in the evening.)
- After eating at the Hard Rock Cafe, it was time to drink a 20 oz. Jack and Coke and meet back up with our group. We first went back to the Monte Bleu, but decided to see what was up with the Horizon (supposedly they had karaoke.) Upon walking into the Horizon, it was immediately depressing. It was WIDE open and ONLY had slot machines. There was duct tape on the carpet where they had removed their Craps table. DEPRESSING. However, they did in fact have karaoke...
- The karaoke bar had cheap drinks and the widest song selection I've ever seen. Almost everyone in our group got up to sing. Mrs. B. crushed "Bust a Move" by Young MC which was awfully impressive. I knew she knew all the lyrics, but I don't think she'd ever sang it in public. I sang "Rich Girl" by Hall & Oates (yeah, I know- it's an underrated song) which went over well. Our friend Mary sang "I Love Rock and Roll." John sang "Possum Kingdom" by the Toadies. And finally, my boss Lina and our former co-worker/friend Jen sang "I Will Survive" together. I gots to be honest, our group held it down at karaoke.
- Ironically, the group that was betting against us in Craps earlier in the day, showed up and sat next to us in the karaoke bar. I wanted to fight all of them, but instead, we left to play some more Craps... this time at Harrah's.
- Harrah's only had $10 minimum Craps tables. At the beginning, I could feel our groups' balls shrink up since we were used to playing on $5 tables. I had mentioned earlier the South Park where Randy gives himself testicular cancer in order to legally get weed. His balls were huge! The second he gets the news from the doctor, he puts his huge set up balls in a wheelbarrow and sings "Buffalo Soldier" on the way marijuana shop. I was encouraging our group to have bigger balls, so my catchphrase this time was the first part of "Buffalo Soldier." It worked awfully well as we all won money at this table. On top of that, the table was a lot of fun as everyone was boisterous and friendly. Such a great time! (+$265.)
- After dominating another Craps table, our entire group got more drinks over near the entrance to Vex (the club in Harrah's.) There was some guy with a keyboard and two iPods playing dance songs so all the girls went to the area in front of the stage to dance. At some point, Mrs. B. came back over and a guy right behind me started talking to her (obviously not paying attention to the situation, her ring, the fact that he would have no chance with her even if I didn't exist- ya know those kind of things.) It was pretty funny, but I was drunk, bored, and I had just won lots of money so I had a swagger that was bordering on douche-baggary. Here is what I said to the guy after not hearing what exactly he had just said to Mrs. B.:
"Hey man, you can stop talking to my wife."
"What? I was just giving her a compliment."
"I'm sure you were, and I'm telling you you can stop."
"Dude, it's not what you think- I was just giving her a nice compliment. I have a girlfriend, too."
(This was my favorite comment) [Sarcastically] "Yeah, I'm suuuure you do- and I bet she's reeeeally hot. Why don't you sit down." (I was calmly sitting down, and he was standing a foot or two to my left.)
"I didn't mean anything by it." (He leans over and touches my shoulder.)
"Don't touch me, and why don't you sit down."
(At this point he's becoming more agitated.)
"I don't feel like sitting- I'll just stand."
"Good for you, buddy. Stand all you want, just don't touch me." (Now his group of friends are trying to get the situation to ease up. It seems like it was his friend's birthday.)
I tell his friend that everything is fine, just to tell his friend to stop touching me and it'll be fine. Eventually, he and all his friends left (probably a minute or two after the whole confrontation.) The crazy thing was that I was so drunk that I was beyond calm during the whole exchange, didn't take into account that we were outnumbered by 3 to 8, my boss was down on the other end of the table, and realistically, did he even say anything wrong to Mrs. B.? Speaking of which... here is what he said.
"Hey girl, are you going back up to dance? I'd really like to watch you some more."
After hearing this, I was happy to have given him a hard time. He deserved it. That's less compliment and more creepy weird guy. My friend John (who is a police officer) was a little mad that I started shit, but in the end he admitted that he would've had my back had things gone wrong. At no point did I really think we were going to fight, but I guess ya never know.
Eventually, the night ended at 4am in completely successful fashion. I was including a random video poker win, some sports bets lost, and Craps I was up $570 for the weekend. Not bad, eh? No fights, lots of drinks, no vomiting, good karaoke, Big Ben didn't rape anyone and I in fact did wear the wolf shirt around during the second Craps session making the whole exchange with the creeper even funnier- he backed down to a guy in a wolf shirt!
So there you go- another successful trip in the books!
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