I asked my friend for a blog topic today and she suggested the State of the Union address, Oscar predictions or what would happen if the Yellowstone Super Volcano erupted. These were all great suggestions! Unfortunately, I didn't watch the State of the Union address (too much talk, not enough doing), I have only watched Inception and Toy Story 3 out of the Best Picture nominees, and I HATE super volcanoes (there is a good chance that a super volcano killed off the dinosaurs!)
I also don't want to talk about Jimmy Buffet falling off a stage in Australia and then being rushed to the hospital. Some people said there was a woman to blame, but in the end, it was all Jimmy's fault.
So what do I have? I've pretty much worked my way through the grief process of the Bears' loss in the NFC Championship Game and I am ready to start anew. What better way to do that than to talk about an A-hole at the Craps Table? None, I tells ya!
This past Friday, my friends John, Brandon, and I went up to the Peppermill in Reno to drink, eat, play Craps, and make sports bets. The overall trip was fantastic. We had a free room, received our Gold Member Parking Passes, checked in at the VIP Services room, and everyone received some amount in free play- which is always nice and helpful.
After drinking a bottle of The Gentleman between the three of us, we went down to play Craps. The game itself can be enough of a grind, but can be made excellent by the other folks at any given table. A fun group of people can make Craps go from a solid game, to a ridiculously fun game. Hell, if you have people betting against the table and the dice starting going your way- that can be a blast as well! Showing up people who bet on the Don't Pass/Don't Come Line is ALWAYS fun times!
But the opposite is also true. If a complete douche finds their way to the Craps Table they can ruin the entire vibe. I'm not sure which comes first- the positive vibe or the massive winnings, but I will tell you that if an A-hole comes up to the table and said table goes cold, everyone WILL blame the jerkweed for the bad luck. We'll call this "The Jay Cutler Principle." It may not physically be the person's fault that everyone at the table is losing, but it sure seems that way and no one will give them the benefit of the doubt.
So what happened on Friday? A space opened up right next to me early on in our session. A tall, big bellied white guy steps in and immediately has the stink of douche all over him. He was extremely drunk, talking in a very cartoon-ish voice, called everyone "big man," and threw a wad of $2900 into the center of the table for the dealers to count up. He turned to me and put a wad of money in my face and told me to count it. I was pissed. 1) This is inappropriate. 2) Just because you are proud of how much money you have, doesn't mean it's ok to tell people to count it (or do anything for that matter. 3) Count your own damn money!
After a minute of harassing, I decided to count the money. I half wanted to peel off a couple 100s for myself, but in a casino that's probably not the best idea. In retrospect, I should have charged him a $100 counting fee and he was probably drunk enough to do it, but in the end, I counted his 11 $100 bills and handed them back. He threw them right onto the table for the dealers to count. Obviously, he just wanted to show off his money and make sure everyone knew what a "big man" he was. I'm going to guess he's over compensating for something else.
Once he had his $4000 in chips, and made sure to mention that he "usually plays with at least $5000," we were able to continue playing. He was buying numbers, allowing the dice to roll 4 or 5 times, then he'd announce that he was taking all of his bets off. What a dick. Not only do the dealers have to keep track of his large bets, but he was slowing the game by taking his bets on and off the table in between rolls. It was maddening.
Another annoying habit this guy had was whenever people were getting visibly sick of him, he would try to give them a knuckle pound and say, "You so crazy." All f-ing night. "You so crazy... you so crazy... you so crazy." Unless you're possessed by Martin Lawrence, you need to shut your hole!
The great thing about this was he was being such an obvious nuisance that he actually got reprimanded for swearing at the table. This was a great lesson to learn. A pit boss doesn't care how much money you are throwing down- if you are a shithead, you will still get in trouble.
Eventually, we had to just color up, cash out and move tables. It was not a tolerable situation. I'm fairly certain the guy started propositioning other guys at the table. He might have propositioned me at one point, but his drunken mumbling was inaudible. The only thing I can understand was, "You know what I'm sayin'!" I replied, "Actually, I have no idea what you're saying." He just laughed like he was the Joker when Joker had Batman in an precarious position.
I'm all for being social and playing this great and social game, but remember kids, don't be an A-hole. Ever. But especially at the Craps table when there is money on the line.