Yesterday I mentioned the recent story about Mark Sanchez dating (hooking up with?) a 17 year-old. In the comments I said my minimum age of girls I went after in my single early 20s years was 21. Well, being the rockstar that I was (yeah right, I was quite tame compared to other folks in the musician circuit, but ya know) I had some interesting experiences. This next story was more or less approved by Mrs. B. because I'm not talking about me with other girls on the blog without her approval. In fact, that seems like an awful idea. This story is relevant to the Mark Sanchez story and also lets you all know how I came up with a line in my song "Saturday Boy." Not to mention, it's mildly entertaining.
I think this happened in Spring of 2006 if I'm not mistaken. I had not yet met Mrs. B. and I was playing shows regularly. Each Sunday night, I played at the G St Pub with my friend Adam and we entertained the crowd with cover songs and originals. I would play an opening set of about an hour, then Adam would take over for the rest of the night. I should probably take one moment to recognize the G St Pub. It is actually closing this Tuesday- which is unfortunate, but I hear it is coming back in a few months with new ownership and hopefully new (or no) carpet. Great times there- It's really where I "cut my teeth" as a musician, and for that, I am grateful.
Anyway, one Sunday night, I played a pretty solid set and there was a group of 6 girls dancing during the duration of it. One of the girls kept yelling out her name (we'll call her "Jane Doe" as to not reveal anyone's true identity.) She kept yelling her name quite clearly and saying it was her 21st birthday. I wished her a happy birthday over the mic using her full name. This made their group go nuts, as per usual with drunk girls who are celebrating a friend's date of birth. It's always nice to have enthusiastic and/or drunk people listening and dancing during a set.
I finished up the last song and got off stage. I was approached by one of the girls in the group (not the girl who's birthday it was.) She asked me, "Do you want a girlfriend or a wife?"*
*This is where I got the lyrics "I ain't asking for a girlfriend or a wife" in "Saturday Boy." Track 7 on "This Time Around"- available on this blog and on iTunes!
I replied, "Uh, not really." I was a single musician- not looking for anything serious.
She said, "How about just for tonight?"
Now I was intrigued. Sunday nights were never really conducive for massive debauchery as I still had to work in the morning, but this scenario was getting a little bit better. However, I wasn't that into the girl who was asking the question, but I heard her out.
"Do you want to make out with my friend? It's her birthday."
I obviously knew this, as the girl was yelling at me while I was on stage. I agreed and had a mini-make-out session in front of the 5 friends. I think some of them took pictures, which I'm happy to say I've never seen. They all cheered and that was pretty much the end of that. The girls were pretty drunk and like I said, I was not one to take advantage of wasted girls or do anything too crazy on a regular basis.
The next morning I went into work. My friend called me up and I relayed the story to him. I told him the exact same story I just typed above and he asked, "Was the girl hot?" I said, "Yeah, I think so... but I did have a bit to drink and it was pretty dark..."
This got me thinking... the girl kept yelling her full name at me, so I could probably see a picture of her on Facebook. With my friend on the phone, I looked up "Jane Doe" on Facebook. As expected, she was pretty hot. Her profile was unprotected, so I could look further than just her profile pic. I looked at a few more pics and confirmed that she was indeed good looking. Crisis averted, right? Well, then came one more piece of info I was not expecting...
Her profile said that she would graduate college in 2010. At first, it looked weird, but I'm not sure my brain made the connection. A second later I told my friend that she is in the class of 2010... and sure enough I checked her birthday and she was 18 fricken' years old! That lying freshman! I told all this to my friend and he responded with, "YES! This makes the story WAY BETTER!!!" He was laughing hysterically at me and I also had a nice little chuckle.
Side-note: Happy Graduation "Jane Doe!" Assuming you made it out in 4 years. Good luck roughing it in the real world!
Friend was probably right about the story being funnier, but it's a good thing things didn't go any farther. I know she was still "legal," but seriously, that is too young. I was 25 at the time, and like I said, 21 was my minimum age. She only tricked me because she also tricked the bouncer into letting her in.
I'm under the impression that Mark Sanchez was not tricked into doing whatever he did with a 17 year old, but I can definitely see how something like this misunderstanding could happen. I hope you enjoyed this Friday story and that it provided you insight into the life of a tame musician. Have a great weekend and remember I'm playing shows tonight at the Naked Lounge in Sacramento and tomorrow at the Boxing Donkey in Roseville!