Wednesday, March 2, 2011

"You Fine" Or "You Just Gotta Keep It Real"

Last night I hosted a singer/songwriter competition in the fine city of Vacaville. It was great fun. I played three songs:

You're Not Just Another Girl
Kids Playing Guns In The Street
50 Stories

...and then judged the contest. Thank you to all the contestants and all the fine people who came out in support. It was a fun night!

On the way home, I stopped to get gas at the Safeway gas station in Dixon. Mrs. B. asked if I wanted something to drink and I said, "Sure," and she headed into the small convenience store adjacent to the gas pumps.

One of the cashiers greeted Mrs. B. on the way in and she said, "What's up?"

He said, "Nothing, what's up with you?"

"You know, just another Tuesday," she replied.

"I hear that."

Then she picked out drinks and went up to the register and asked, "Do you have any scratchers?" Apparently Mrs. B. wanted to get her Lottery on.

"Scratchers?"

"Yeah, it's pay day!" It was in fact, the first of the month (Bone Thugs!)

"No, no scratchers... You want to gamble, huh?"

"Yeah, sure," Mrs. B. replied again.

At this point, an African American gentleman came in and overheard this conversation. Mrs. B. said he reminded her of Mike Epps from Next Friday. He pipes up and says, "You need to go to Cache Creek!" (Local Indian Casino for those not from the area.)

Mrs. B. gets a little ghetto. "No, I want to play real games."

"So you should go to Thunder Valley?"

"No, they don't have good games there either."

"What games do you want to play?"

"Craps. Roulette. You have to go to Nevada for those games. I'd rather go to Reno."

"Oh damn, you really like to gamble!... What about Red Hawk?" (again, still in California, so this guy apparently isn't great with geography or state lines.)

"No- Red Hawk sucks!" my lovely bride explained. "Every time you go in there and take money out of your pocket, people get all up in your personal space!" (This is, in fact, true. One reason I don't like Red Hawk is the personal space issue. Another reason is that Live Card Craps is much worse than regular Craps.)

"Girls, that's just 'cause you fine."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, you fine. You just gotta keep it real."

"Oh, ok. Thanks for clearing that up."

At this point, Mrs. B. turns to the cashier she was initially talking to and said, "See? Just another Tuesday."

And like that, Mrs. B. came back to the car and told me to drive away. It had been an interesting Tuesday, and it was nice that it was capped off with that ridiculous tale.

5 comments:

GMoney said...

Don't leave us hanging...what did she get you to drink!!!

Tony B. said...

Haha!

Spark Vitamin Water and some peanut M&M's. It was a good snack!

KatrinadEvans said...

Of course this happened to her! I love it!

Mrs. B said...

More specifically: Blueberry Vitamin Water and a "sharing" size peanut M&M's.

What can I say, when you got it, you got it!

Mrs. B said...

also, in case anyone is curious: They had no scratchers. What a bunch of BS