Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Shirts I'd Like To See Made Part 2

Last week, I posted about t-shirts I'd like to see made.  Click here if you missed it.  I made sure to hit on all the AL teams, and I got a few NL team in there, but I wanted to finish it up with all the NL teams and maybe some bonus ones.  Plus, I liked Brandon and G$'s hypothetical t-shirts/slogans that they came up with, so I figured it would be good to hear a few more from them (and anyone else- don't be bashful!)

NL East:

Cliff Lee - "I took less money to go where I wanted... no, no- not at all like LeBron..."
Brad Lidge - "I'm only good every leap year!  Is it 2012 yet?"
David Wright - "I miss Shea"
Carlos Beltran - "Dreaming of the '05 Postseason since 2005"
Chipper Jones - Just a pic of him with the other Stooges, Curly and Moe.
Venters and Kimbrel - Having them pose as beach bicycle cops like Gumble 2 Gumble.  I know it doesn't make that much sense, but for whatever reason is funny to me.  They should also be flexing with their fists pointing inward.
Josh Johnson - "Soon to be Yankee"
Hanley Ramirez - Put him in a soccer uniform and having him kick a baseball all over the place.  Or just have him pose and put "Effort is overrated, talent is everything" right underneath.
Livan Hernandez - "I'm just as amazed as you are that I'm still here."
The Nationals - Just put their full team picture on a shirt and somewhere in there put Waldo.  Possibly over Strasburg's face.

NL West:

Brian Wilson - Have him dragging The Machine around by a leash.  I'm not entirely sure this doesn't already exist. 
Aubrey Huff - I would like a chalk outline of his body in the outfield like his teammates set up as a prank.

Jason Giambi - Give him a long Gandalf type beard and it would say, "Chicks STILL dig the long ball" or I guess it could be something about "long balls"...
Ubaldo Jimenez - Just an uncompleted Wheel of Fortune board that is almost his name and under it says "Pitcher"
Mat Latos - "Yeah, my parents spelled my name wrong on my birth certificate- what of it?"
Heath Bell - "You too can have a stunning body like me by using Wii Fit often"
Justin Upton - "A little help here..."
Ian Kennedy - "#1 starter by default"
Jonathan Broxton - "Eric Gagne II"
Chad Billingsley - "G$'s Man-Crush From Defiance, OH"

NL Central:

Carlos Pena - "Renaming & Lowering the Mendoza Line"
Carlos Marmol - "Me and the strike zone?  We are NOT friends"
Pedro Alvarez - "Did you really draft me before Buster Posey- even I think that was dumb"
Kevin Corriea - "And you thought Ian Kennedy was a weak #1 starter..."

Prince Fielder - "Do we ever play the A's?  Coco Crisp sounds delicious!"
John Axford - Dress him up in plaid.  Give him pancakes and and a blue ox.
Tony LaRussa - Have him asleep at the wheel of a car
Albert Pujols - "Future Chicago Cub" ... and I'm not 100% sure that's a good thing
Dusty Baker - "I heart toothpicks... and ruining pitching arms"
Bronson Arroyo - "At least my band is better than Nickelback"
Brett Myers - "How exactly did I end up in Houston?" or "Houston, we have a problem"
Brett Wallace - "How exactly did I end up in Houston?" Then picture a map of North America and draw a line from St. Louis to Oakland to Toronto to Houston. 

And we're done.  That was fun.  Not every one of them was comedy gold, but it's a fun exercise.  Come up with your own in the comments.  Tomorrow: More 90s music.


Brandon said...

Barry Zito: $126 million isn't what it used to be. (You know I had to make a Zito comment)

The Molina brothers: Molina, mo' problems.

Broxton and Fielder: no caption, just a picture of them circling each other with a knife and fork in their hands.

A picture of Aubrey Huff in armor, Buster Posey in a cloak and holding a sword, and Bochy as a wizard, with Mike Fontenot standing in front of them with a ring hanging on a chain around his neck. That may be a bit too elaborate just to point out that Fontenot is a tiny, tiny baseball player.

Tony B. said...

"Molina, mo' problems" is great considering Notorious B.I.G. was also fat and slow.

Fontenot Lives!

GMoney said...

Unnecessary shots at the Buccos!

1. Pedro Alvarez is pretty good and getting better.
2. Why would they draft Posey when they already have RYAN DOUMIT.
3. Kevin Correia = complete game SO last night, bitch!

Aubrey Huff = Worst player in the AL, Champion in the NL

David Eckstein = a shirt that is 80% covered by a big heart with his picture in the middle

Tony B. said...

1. Pedro Alvarez is batting .193 with 57 ABs and 20 Strikeouts. He's on my fantasy team and can suck it.
2. Pedro Alvarez was also listed at Catcher when he was drafted and the Pirates will more than likely get rid of Ryan Doumit soon. Besides, both are worse than Posey.
3. Correia is not good and you know it. Admittedly, I didn't see his CG so you bring it up at the best possible time to make me look bad, but he's still not a #1 starter- that is a joke.

Tony B. said...

By "get rid of" Doumit, I mean trade him for more prospects that they'll trade in a few years and let the cycle repeat.

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