Unsure when I will stop being thankful, but soon we'll find a new Thursday schtick... for now- Jimmy Fallon's sketch is stolen again. (PS: Don't forget to buy the Thank You Notes book on Amazon.com at 12pm Pacific/3pm Eastern today.)
Thank you for breaking up. I had no idea you were still together. I like most of your material, but didn't feel like there was much of a chance of your playing the CA State Fair, which is probably the only place I'd go to see you these days.
Wait 'til tomorrow,
Dear Dallas Mavericks,
Thank you for beating the OKC Thunder last night. I promise I will cheer for you if the Heat beat the Bulls tonight (or in any of the next 3 potential games.) This would be a complete role reversal from 2006 when I watched a finals game inside the ESPN Zone in Las Vegas and cheer for D. Wade and Shaq. Any Heat sympathy has sailed this past summer.
Dear Barry Bonds,
Thank you for offering to pay for any college bills accrued by Bryan Stow's two children. That is a sincerely nice gesture and really goes a long way during this horrible predicament the Stow family has gone through.
Somebody wants to earn some good will to get into the Hall, eh,
Dear Mario Kart,
Thank you for being the most fun video game series ever. Side note: Thank you Blue Shells for being the most frustrating and annoying weapon in any video game ever.
"I'm the best!"
Dear Buster Posey,
There's no thank you here- just get better. Holy crap you got lit up at the plate! That was a bad collision. Maybe... thank you SF Giants, in advance, for changing Posey's position in the field after he's better. Ouch.
Get well soon,
Dear Hangover Part II,
Thank you for potentially being as good as the first one. I know that is probably not possible, and that I will ultimately set expectations too high before going in to see it, but it does give me something to look forward to.
To the Wolfpack,